


Loveliness Extreme

by Antares_28



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is a Science Teacher, Alex is always a mess, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Doctors, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Emotional, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jamie is there too but she's not their child, Maggie is a Doctor, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-03-25 16:12:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 59,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13838379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antares_28/pseuds/Antares_28
Summary: Alex is a science teacher at junior high school and that's her entire life. She strongly believes she can make the difference in her students' lives. Being so dedicated to her job actuallly leaves no time for very much else, especially for dating (despite her sister Kara and her girlfriend Lena's attempts to set her up on blind dates).Maggie is a successful doctor at the Metropolis General Hospital. Behind her rugged and confident exterior, she's self destructive and self-loathing to an almost pathological degree, desperate to be loved and accepted for just who she is.Jamie is a smart, witty and sweet teenager and she's one of Alex's students.Thanks to her - and to her clumsiness- Alex and Maggie meet under the strangest circumstances and then they won't be able to forget about each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys!  
> I was working on my Teacher's AU story and well... That's what I actually wrote. It's a big project, almost all chapters are already written and this story is going to be at least 20 chapter long.
> 
> That's so different, especially because Alex is a teacher and our Maggie is a doctor. I strongly believe Maggie is very smart and compassionate, so medical career seemed perfect for her.
> 
> There'll be mentions of supercorp as well and you'll meet other characters too.
> 
> As always, remember I'm not an English native speaker, so there could be some typos and mistakes.
> 
> Hope you'll like it!
> 
> (The story's title is after Gertrude Stein's poem "Sacred Emily".)

It's sunny and hot, as usual during the Californian fall, and Kara Danvers sighs contently as she eats her sticky bun, sitting on the stool in front of her kitchen counter and already dressed in a bright yellow dress layered under a gray sweater. She is ready to deal with a new day of work.

Lena Luthor, her girlfriend, comes out from her bathroom, her hair still damp from her shower, and she wears nothing but a fluffy green bathrobe as she pours herself a mug of fresh brewed coffee, before taking a seat next to Kara.

Kara leans towards her, kissing her and she smiles against Lena's lips again as she can feel her own smile forming in response.

Suddenly her phone starts to vibrate and she reaches for it out of habit.

“No,” Lena instantly protests. “No, honey. We won’t see each other for hours and we have a bit of time before we have to go to work.” 

Kara works at the CatCo Worldwide Media, as Cat's personal assistant while Lena is the billionaire CEO of L-Corp. Cat always calls Kara for the oddest requests and so Lena is afraid that she will have to go to work earlier than usual for one reason or another.

Kara looks down at the caller i.d., the smile remaining on her face. 

“It’s Alex.” She flips it open immediately. “Hi, Alex,” she cheerfully greets her older adoptive sister and Lena stands up, pressing her face to the side of her throat, nuzzling her there. Kara keeps her other arm around her girlfriend's waist as her sister begins rambling a mile a minute in true Alexandra Danvers fashion.

“But I think the blouse is maybe too sexy to wear to work,” Alex is saying from across the country, standing in front of her closet in Metropolis, and staring at the chiffon low cut wrap blouse that she bought over the weekend on a whim.

“It is not,” Kara assures her. “It just looks hot on you.”

“I’m a teacher, Kara. I’m  _ not  _ supposed to look hot. Maybe if I wear my leather jacket over it…” Alex begins chewing on the inside of her cheek – a nervous habit. Kara laughs then, sounding a bit breathless and Alex can’t help but smile, rolling her eyes. “Tell Lena I say ‘hi’,” she adds, having an idea but not wanting to know exactly what is happening to her sister from the other side of the phone.

“Alex says  _ ‘hi’ _ ,” Kara repeats dutifully and then a second later, her girlfriend is speaking into the phone with her thick Bostonian accent.

“You should wear the blouse. It looked good from the picture you sent,” Lena tells her.

“And if you don’t wear it to work, when exactly are you going to wear it?” Kara asks and they hold the phone between their heads so they can both hear Alex.

Alex frowns, “I do have a life outside of work, you know,” she tries to argue.

“No, you don’t,” both Kara and Lena say at the same time.

“Don’t be mean to me,” Alex pouts but she doesn’t waste her time disagreeing with them, a part of her knowing that they are exactly right. The truth is she is a kind of workaholic.

She is twenty-eight years old and she has always been a very smart person, able to get her PhD in bioengineering at just twenty-four years old. She has been teaching seventh and eighth grade science at the upscale private school, St. Jonzz’s, on the eastside of the city for three years now.

The school is her entire life but that’s just because she loves it so much. She’s one of the most involved teachers in the school and she likes to think that maybe she is making a difference in the her students’ life. She also knows that it doesn't leave time for very much else, not to mention she isn't actually interested in dating. Despite that, Kara and Lena always try to be her matchmakers, setting her up on blind dates with their friends and co-workers, each time she comes back to National City.

“I’m trying to convince your lovely sister to go back to our bed and have sex with me,” Lena bluntly answers, grinning when Kara rolls her eyes.

“Whoa,” Alex laughs. “Too much information. Plus, you have to convince her? I thought Kara was always-”

“Hey,” Kara interrupts. “How about you two don’t be mean to me? I'm just going to grab Cat's breakfast at Noonan's and God only knows what she is going to want from me today.”

“Come on then, honey. I’ll make you feel real good before work,” Lena offers her.

“Oookay, before I start overhearing things I really don’t want to hear, I’m going to go,” Alex tells them. “You both have a wonderful day and hopefully, Lena, you get some.”

Lena giggles, “Thanks, Alex. You have a good day, too.”

“Call me later this afternoon, okay?” Kara speaks up even though they call one another several times throughout the day.

“Definitely,” Alex nods. “Bye, girls.”

“Wear the blouse!” Kara shouts out as Alex hangs up.

* * *

Across the country, in Metropolis City, Maggie Sawyer stands in the living room of her apartment, a cup of black coffee in her hand she occasionally takes a sip from, and she’s staring out the window at her unobstructed view of the huge park. The park is beautiful this time of year with the trees all brilliant shades of yellow, red and orange. Maggie is staring but she hardly sees it. Emily used to love the city in the fall. She said that it reminded her of school and fresh boxes of pencil and jumping into piles of leaves. Maggie despises the fall. There is a woman in her bedroom and she can hear her talk softly on her cell phone as she gathers her clothes. Maggie has no idea what her name is. She tries to remember if she had even asked her for it. She met her for the first time last night in some nameless bar and after a few drinks, she asked her if she wanted to get out of there. And like every other woman before her, she had smiled and hadn’t refused. Maggie hates the morning after and she hopes that the nameless woman knows how this is done.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes, honey,” she is saying. “Yes, I promise. Mommy will be home soon.”

Maggie nearly winces as she hears that. Great. She’s fucked a kid’s mom. She really wants her to get out of here. She hears her shoes on the hardwood floor as she leaves the bedroom and comes down the hallway that opens up into the large open living room and kitchen. Maggie keeps her back turned, sipping her coffee and staring out the window. She isn’t going to say anything to her even though she can feel her staring at her. She hears her shoes again and there is a tightness in her chest that slowly loosens when she hears the front door open. Without a word, she slips out and leaves and a moment later, the door shuts behind her. Maggie exhales a deep breath and finally turns away from the window.

She goes to the front door and locks it again. In the kitchen, she pours the remaining coffee from the cup down the sink. She has a headache but she ignores it and she goes down the hallway into her bedroom. Her clothes from last night are still scattered on the floor and she looks at the bed, seeing that the woman has made it for her before she left. She immediately strips the bed of the sheets that smell too heavily of perfume that makes her nose tickle, irritated, and she stalks to the washer and dryer in the small utility closet that is located off of the kitchen.

After shoving everything into the washer and beginning the rinse cycle, she goes into the large master bathroom. After relieving herself, she steps into the shower. She turns on the water – too hot and it stings her skin – but she hardly notices as she stands underneath the heavy stream, allowing herself to be thoroughly soaked through. 

She closes her eyes. Her head is pounding but it has nothing to do with the alcohol she had last night. She braces her hands on the tiled walls and bows her head forehead, feeling the water on the back of her neck now. The water is so hot, it almost works on the knots of her back but her entire body is too stiff and it has felt like this for nine months now. She’s almost used to it.

Because she’s a masochist in every sense of the word, there is a bottle of body wash in one corner of the shower and she picks it up now almost out of habit. It’s the only thing Emily left behind when she left and it’s the same that she’s used for as long as Maggie  her. A nourishing jasmine body wash. She had the smoothest skin Maggie had ever touched and kissed and she always took such amazing care of it. When she let her, when she hadn’t seemed so disgusted with Maggie touching her, she would brush her hands over her body and kiss every inch of skin that she could. Maggie flips open the cap now and smells the scent, closing her eyes. She misses her. Even nine months later, even after everything she did and said to her, she still misses her. She still  _ loves _ her. She doesn’t know what the hell is the matter with her. Why can’t she hate her? If anyone else had said her what she had, she would never forgive them or talk to them again and she certainly wouldn’t love them. She would hate them with every fiber in her being. But… she’s Emily and she has always had some sort of power over her. Not to mention, deep down, Maggie is sure she had been right.

With a sigh, she closes the bottle and sets it down again. Slowly, she sinks down to the floor of the bathtub, the water so hot, steam swirled around her. She rests her head against the wall behind her and closes her eyes again.

_ “You don’t deserve to be happy, Maggie. You’ll never be worth anyone’s love. You’ll never be worth anything.” _

Maggie tries to stop thinking about her. She tries to force himself to move on. Emily has been her longest relationship and they’ve shared everything for five long years. But they’ve always been so different. Maybe Maggie never had her. They may have lived together Maggie  may have thought that Emily was her redemption. She was so wrong. It all came crashing down so fast around her, she realized that she hadn’t even had her. She was just never enough. The poor and neglected second-generation immigrant, abandoned by her own parents. If neither her mom and dad could love her, who would? She will always be second, third or last, according to Emily. Even though she was able to complete high school in three years and to get a full scholarship at Harvard. They had met there and Emily was a WASP, coming from a white, protestant and wealthy family of Boston. They couldn’t be more different.

Maggie can’t remember a time that she was first; a time when someone chose her above anyone or anything else. No one ever will either. She knows that. She doesn’t deserve it. Look at her. She had cheated on her perfect girlfriend and still expected a happily ever after.

She stays there, sitting on the floor of the shower until the water goes from hot to warm to lukewarm to cold. She then stands up and turns the faucets, cutting the water off. Without grabbing a towel to dry herself off, she goes into the bedroom. It’s almost ten. Maybe she can have a beer. She really wants one. Tugging on a pair of boyshorts and a tank top, she then heads into the laundry room to pull the sheets from the washer and shove them into the dryer. She doesn’t feel like going into work today. Then again, she rarely feels like it anymore. She wishes she could just stay here and not have to see anyone or talk with anyone or deal with anyone. 

With a cold beer in hand, she collapses onto her leather couch and turns on the television. She doesn’t watch it though and she doesn’t even notice what station it’s turned to. She thinks of the woman from the previous night. She had been beautiful. They all are and she had smiled and laughed and had touched her in the flirtatious manner that was like second nature to her now. And she had been alright in bed. Nothing spectacular but nothing terrible either. She had just… been. She hadn’t made her feel anything. Maggie hasn’t felt anything in months – nine months exactly except this aching hollowness that refused to go away.

She wonders if she should have followed Emily to Washington. What would she do though there if she had? She has made her choice clear. She doesn’t deserve her. She doesn’t love her. And according to her facebook page, she’s dating a woman as perfect as her. 

Every day, Maggie almost wishes that Emily will knock on her door and tell her that she wants to come back. She’ll tell her that she chooses her and loves her and they can have a real, full happy life together. They can be a family. Was Maggie truly that horrible?  

Maggie closes her eyes and presses the cold bottle of beer to her forehead. She wonders if this headache will ever go away.

* * *

 

“Oh, it’s okay, Jamie. Please. I promise, it’s okay,” Alex practically pleads, pressing a tissue to the cut on her forehead. Jamie is thirteen– one of her eighth grade students – and she’s also incredibly tiny in a cute sort of way. She plays for the St. Jonzz’s girl’s hockey team and even though she is the smallest player she is the best one. Right now, she looks devastated and worried, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“I’m going to get expelled,” she digs her fingers through her dark red hair. “I’ve hit a teacher. I’ll never be able to go to school again.”

“You did  _ not _ hit me, Jamie,” Alex tells her as she walks into the hospital’s emergency room. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem that crowded. The tissue is soaked with blood now and she knows that she is going to need stitches. “You opened a door on me. It was an accident. And I will tell anyone that if they try to expel you.”

She knows no one will even think of expelling Jamie Lord. She’s the team captain and so far, the school is having an undefeated season. But there is absolutely no reason for Jamie to even face disciplinary action. Each afternoon, Alex offers tutoring sessions to any student who is in need of them but her classroom door had been shut as she had been working on grading lab reports and Jamie, the first to arrive, had knocked. She also just happened to open it the same time Alex had gone to answer it.

“Oh goodness,” Jamie keeps repeating, following her as she goes up to speak with the nurse behind the registration counter. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Danvers. I’m so sorry.” 

“Is it possible if I fill papers out afterwards? I just really need this bleeding to stop,” Alex explains to the nurse.

“Let me go see who’s available,” the nurse says, standing up. “Hold onto these,” she then hands Alex a clipboard of medical forms and a pen.

Alex takes a deep breath, pressing the tissue to the cut with a bit more pressure. “Jamie, there are some note-cards in my bag. Can you get them for me?” She asks, referring to her black leather bag slung onto her shoulder.

Jamie shakes her head. “I shouldn’t go through your things. What if I find something I’m not supposed to?” She holds up both her hands.

“ _ Jamie _ ,” Alex tries not to roll her eyes. “I have note-cards that I’ve made for the study group to help with the quiz on Friday. Here, hold these.” Handing her the clipboard, she then digs into the bag herself. It takes her a moment but she finally pulls a stack of multi-colored index cards held together with a rubber band from her bag. “Okay,” she feels blood on her fingers through the tissue but she ignores it. “What does a lepidopterist study? Beetles, bees and wasps, or moths and butterflies?” 

“Moths and butterflies,” a hoarse voice answers from behind her and she spins around to see a woman standing there in dark green scrubs and a white lab coat. Alex is taken aback for a moment. She’s probably the best looking woman she has ever seen. She’s short but her body seems fit and muscular – but not overly so. She has dark hair pulled up in a messy bun at the base of her head and she doesn’t seem older than thirty. Her jaw is sharp and her eyes are the most hypnotizing shade of brown she’s ever looked into.

Alex feels her mouth open but she can’t make a sound. She knows she probably looks like an idiot, standing there, staring at her with her mouth hanging open and a bloody tissue to her forehead. “Um,” she clears her throat. “That… that’s right. Jamie, a lepidopterist studies moths and butterflies. Be sure that’s in your notes. There are going to be at least ten questions just like this on the quiz.” 

“Is she going to die?” Jamie blurts out to the doctor and Alex can see that the doctor is wearing a plastic identification badge. Dr. Maggie Sawyer.

“Jamie, I’m fine,” she insists for the hundredth time.

“We better check anyway,” the doctor says and then points to an empty bed. “Hop up.” 

Alex feels her cheeks flushed and she avoids looking at her as she hurried over to the bed she is referring to. She slides up and sits down on the edge, a stool is rolled in front of her and Dr. Maggie Sawyer sits down in front of her with a heavy sigh. 

“Alright,” she snaps on a pair of latex gloves. “Let’s look.” She gently pulls the tissue back from her forehead and she can feel her warm fingers touch hers through the gloves. She tosses the tissue away into a trashcan and then gathers a bottle of antiseptic and cotton balls. “This is going to sting but I need to clean it,” she explains and Alex nods her permission, trying not to stare into her eyes. She’s pretty sure she is making a complete fool of herself and she needs to get herself under control, especially with Jamie there. 

“Alright, Jamie,” Alex flips to a new note card. “The Goliath beetle is the largest insect living today. How much does it weight?” She lets out a hiss and clenches her teeth as Dr. Sawyer rubs the cotton ball against the open cut. Holy crap, that stings, she almost says but bites down on her tongue instead.

“Sorry,” the doctor murmurs but continues cleaning. The stinging lessens. 

“Um…” Jamie reaches into the book bag to pull out her notebook but Alex stops her.

“This isn’t open note. We just learned about these yesterday,” she tells him. “Remember that really disgusting slide I showed you of the goliath beetle in class?”

“That was awesome,” Jamie grins and Alex swears she sees the doctor’s lips almost twitch as if she is about to smile. Her face quickly switches back to being blank though.

“Two ounces, four ounces, or eight ounces?” Alex gives her the options.

Jamie takes over a minute to answer. “Four ounces.”

Alex beams. “Perfect,” and then Jamie grins, too.

“Is it true they eat dog food?” Dr. Maggie Sawyer suddenly speaks up and her voice is low and it sends a shiver Alex has never experienced before down her spine.

“Dog food? Really?” Jamie’s eyes widen.

Alex laughs slightly. “Well, in the African tropical forests where they live, they primarily feed on tree sap and fruit. But when they’re in captivity, they have been known to be able to survive on protein-rich foods like dog and cat food.” 

“That is so cool,” Jamie is still grinning. “I think that should be a bonus question on the quiz on Friday, Ms. Danvers.”

“Maybe,” Alex laughs.

“Okay,” Dr. Sawyer tosses the cotton balls away. “It’s going to need about four stitches.”

“I figured,” Alex nods.

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Danvers,” Jamie is back to frowning now.

“You did this?” Dr. Sawyer lifts an eyebrow at her and sets her jaw and Alex sees Jamie shift uncomfortably on her feet, growing upset again.

Alex isn’t sure why she does it – she hates seeing any of her kids upset or hurt or in trouble – and she reaches out, touching Dr. Sawyer’s shoulder. She’s so warm. “It’s alright, Dr. Sawyer,” she says and she turns her head, looking at her. “It was an accident. Jamie opened a door right smack in my face.” 

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Danvers. I’m so sorry,” Jamie repeats, her eyes glistening again.

“Jamie, goodness, stop,” she says. “Now, what is the fastest running insect?” Alex asks her. “All  the citizens of Metropolis should know this one.” 

“Cockroach,” Jamie and Dr. Sawyer answer at the same time. Alex laughs.

“Gold stars for both of you,” she smiles. Again, she sees the doctor’s lips twitch and it’s as if she wants to smile but she can’t completely allow herself to. 

She stands up from her stool and Alex watches as she sheds her white lab coat. She sees the muscles twitch in her arms and she understands now what Kara and Lucy are talking about when they say they see something on a person and their mouths go dry. This has never happened to her before. She stands in front of her and slowly, with steady hands, she begins to suture the cut on her forehead.

“Can I talk?” Alex asks her.

Maggie shakes her head. “The muscles in your face move when you do. Just sit still. This will take me only a few minutes.” She sits as still as she can, her eyes focused on her chest in front of her. What is wrong with her? That dark green scrub shirt does nothing to hide the breasts beneath it. She shouldn’t be thinking these things – especially with one of her students standing right there with her. 

“You play some sports?” Dr. Sawyer asks Jamie.

“Yes, madam,” Jamie nods proudly. “Captain of the hockey team. We’re undefeated this year so far.”

“What school?”

“St. Jonzz’s.”

“God, you’re already in junior high?” Dr. Sawyer then shifts her eyes and looks at her. “And you teach science, I’m assuming?”

“Ms. Danvers kicks ass,” Jamie answers for her. “She’s one of the coolest teachers in school. I didn’t mean to hit you with the door, Ms. Danvers.”

Dr. Sawyer finishes the sutures, closing them up. “You can speak,” she tells her.

“Jamie, don’t say  _ ‘ass’ _ ,” she immediately says. “But thank you.” Her fingers instinctively rise to touch the stitches. “Am I okay?” She then asks Dr. Sawyer, looking at her as she cleans up the station.

“You’ll be fine. I am going to prescribe a painkiller just in case you get a headache later on,” she tells her. “Here, give me that.” She takes the clipboard of medical forms that Jamie is still holding and tosses it onto one of the carts full of supplies. “Four stitches. It’ll be our secret.”

“Oh,” Alex’s eyes widen. “I can’t let you do that. Won’t you get in trouble?”

“Can you keep a secret?” She asks, staring into her eyes, and something about the way she asks the question, Alex feels her cheeks blush. “Come back in a week to have the stitches taken out. Be sure you ask for me. Okay?” 

“Y-yes,” Alex stutters and she hates herself for being such an idiot. “Thank you so much, Dr. Sawyer, for your help.” 

“Relax, Ms. Danvers,” she says, now peeling off the gloves and tossing them away. “Four stitches. The hospital won’t collapse financially because you didn’t pay for four stitches.” Alex feels her breath catch in her throat as her fingertips gently touch the stitches on her forehead. She is acting like such a freak and she wishes that she would get a grip on herself. Dr. Sawyer is not the first woman she has ever interacted with before. 

Dr. Sawyer then looks Jamie. “Good luck with your quiz on Friday. Sounds like you’ll do just fine. And good luck with the season. I’m going to have to look for St. Jonzz’s in the paper.” 

Alex steps down from the bed, hoisting  her bag back onto her shoulder and then she tilts her head down so she can look up into Dr. Sawyer’s face. She really is so damn gorgeous. Alex nervously tucks a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

“Well, thank you again Dr. Sawyer,” she holds out her right hand.

“Maggie,” she shakes her hand.

“Alex,” she smiles up at her, feeling a warmth from where her hand shakes her. “And I guess I’ll see you in a week.”

“If I’m not fired before then for handing away free stitches,” she says and then when Alex feels her eyes widen, Maggie actually smirks. Not a smile but the smirk makes her smile nonetheless. And she shows up the most beautiful dimples, ever. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’ll see you in a week.”

As Alex and Jamie leave the emergency room and begin walking the two blocks back towards the school, Alex feels herself unable to stop smiling and her hand still feels warm.

* * *

Alex isn’t sure what causes it but suddenly, her eyes snap open and she flies into a sitting position, her heart pounding in her chest. For a moment, she’s confused as to where she is and she frantically looks around. When she sees that she’s in her living room, having fallen asleep on the couch, she begins to breathe again. The television is on, creating almost a soft glow in the otherwise dark room. She quickly grabs the remote from the coffee table and turns the television off. The room is now bathed in semi-darkness, light from surrounding skyscrapers always keeping her apartment from ever being completely pitch black.

She takes a deep breath and swings her legs around, placing her feet on the cool, hardwood floor. Her head is pounding and she leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. Dr. Sawyer had prescribed her a pain killer in case of headaches and she hadn’t thought she would need them at the time for such a tiny wound but now, at two o’clock in the morning, she’s suddenly extremely grateful for her apparent skill into seeing into the future.

Pushing away the blanket that she had covered herself with as she had curled onto the couch, she stands up and immediately goes to the front door, making sure that it’s still locked. Her mother, Dr. Eliza Danvers, worried about her living in such a big city by herself but Alex constantly reassures her that she has a good head on her shoulders – something she has always known – and she constantly plays it safe. She lives in a good, secure building in Midtown and she has never felt unsafe in her neighborhood though that doesn’t mean she doesn’t remain cautious.

She climbs up the stairs into her bedroom, finally flipping on the small lamp on the bedside table and she smiles when she sees her German Shepherd puppy, Gertrude, stretched out on her side across her bed. She lifts her head and thumps her tail against the blue comforter as Alex kneels down next to the bed. She rubs her behind her dark triangle-shaped ears. She is six months old and had been a present from her younger sister, Kara, who just like their mother, believes everything she hears about Metropolis and when there had been a string of break-ins in Midtown earlier that year, Kara bought  Alex the dog.

“For protection,” she had explained and though  Alex had felt she was being ridiculous, she loved the puppy immediately and named her Gertrude for Gertrude Stein. It seemed cool to call her after a lesbian icon and one of her favorite writer.

“Thanks for letting me fall asleep, silly girl,” she now teases and then kisses her on her head, rubbing her ears and her tail continues to thump.

In the bathroom, she opens her medicine cabinet and pulls down the pill bottle that the drugstore had filled for her. Popping one of the white tablets into her mouth, she downs it with some water and she closes her eyes for a moment, wishing the pill would cure her headache immediately. She lifts her fingertips and touch the four small stitches on her forehead. She wonders if she’ll have a scar. Maybe she can ask Dr. Sawyer that when she sees her in a week to remove the stitches. Just at the thought of the dark-haired, brown-eyed doctor, she feels her lips twitch in a smile. She knows she’s ridiculous but she can’t seem to help herself. She was so gorgeous and nice and she had joked with her. She knows she wasn’t flirting – not every woman who’s nice is flirting – but she definitely makes her throat dry as she stands in her bathroom, thinking about her.

She opens her eyes and looks at her reflection in the mirror. She always feels awful for complimenting herself and she never knows how to handle herself when someone else tells her something nice about herself but she supposes that she isn’t that bad to look at. She can admit that without her cheeks bursting into flames. Her hair is auburn brown and cut in a long bob and it’s naturally wavy if she doesn’t take the time to straighten it. Her skin is pale and there are freckles across her nose which she has always hated. Her teeth are white and straight, she doesn’t have any visible deformities and after years of struggling with her sweet tooth, she has managed to cut back on sugar and her now thin frame thanks her. She’s certainly not someone who would stop traffic but…

She sighs heavily, disgusted with herself. It doesn’t matter what she looks like on the outside. There’s so much more to her. Her friends and sister have set her up on plenty of dates since she came out during college, but  Alex hardly follows through on a second. She has made more women uncomfortable with her intelligence and wanting to talk about things other than sex.

She wonders what Dr. Sawyer is interested in. It just isn’t because she’s a doctor that Alex thinks she’s a clever woman. When she had been quizzing Jamie, she had known all of those answers, too. Maybe she reads. Maybe she makes a bowl of popcorn and watches the Discovery Channel like she does. She suddenly has an image of them sharing that together. She tells herself that she’s being pathetic but she can’t get her out of her mind. She’s probably forgotten about her already. She probably sees dozens of patients every day and she had given her four measly stitches. There is no reason for Dr. Sawyer to remember her. 

With a sigh and a shake of her head at her reflection, Alex unbuttons her blouse. She was grading papers on the couch and watching some episodes of  _ Games of Thrones  _ but had fallen asleep sometime after eleven. She holds up the blouse. It doesn’t seem too wrinkled. She goes back into her bedroom and hangs it on the hanger on her closet door. She then sighs with relief, unclasping her bra and, after taking off her pants, she pulls on an oversized tee-shirt to sleep in. It is a cool fall night and her bedroom window is open a crack, allowing a breeze to flutter over her skin as she flops down on the bed without getting underneath the covers. She has to get up at six and be at the coffee shop near the school by seven. She meets students there before classes in case any of them want to speak with her. For the seventh graders, they have science presentations at the end of next week to give and she wants to make sure everyone is on track.

She blinks up at the ceiling and feels Gertie move her head, resting it on her leg. She smiles faintly and her fingertips go to her stitches again. Why can’t she stop thinking about her? Maggie Sawyer. Dr. Maggie Sawyer. With her warm touch and low voice.  Alex can’t remember the last time she’s thought about a woman this extensively before. She is so good-looking but there’s something so much more to her. She doesn’t even know her but she knows that. She can sense it. And she can’t wait to see her again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie and Alex meet at a coffee shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys :)  
> I wanted to update the story sooner but I got the flu and I've not been feeling very well for the past days, so standing up and using my PC has been a little hard.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll like this chapter (remember that it's a... Slow burn romance) and the new additions ;)

It’s too early and her head is throbbing but she had absolutely nothing to eat in her apartment and that’s why she finds herself  sitting in the coffee shop around the corner from her building the next morning. She sits at a small table by herself, her back to the wall so she faces the shop and there is a paper open in front of her. She sips at her black coffee and eats her double-toasted bagel  and ignores absolutely everything around her.

She hardly slept the night before but she doesn’t feel tired. Being a doctor has trained her to survive on very little sleep but she still isn’t looking forward to her shift at the hospital. It’s not as if she’s hard up for money at the moment. Maybe she can take an extended break and just give herself a rest. But she knows though that she needs to keep working, it’s her vocation. She has a great job at the hospital, being a cardio-thoracic surgery fellow, and she’d be stupid to walk away from it. She finally is making more money than she knows what to do with and she’s respected in the medical circles. Maggie had worked very hard to become the doctor she is today. Being a non-white, non- straight woman from Blue Springs, Nebraska, had made her path very tough and challenging. But Maggie has always been stubborn and determined and she earned her M.D. from Harvard University, where she graduated first of her class. She can’t just quit. Despite everything, she does love being a doctor. She’s just so damn tired of it right now.

She rubs a hand through her hair and leans back in her chair, taking a sip of her coffee and studying the sports page. Her eye catches something on the inside front page, down at the bottom. She spreads the page out on the table and leans over it, reading about an upcoming hockey game – a big one – between St. Jonzz’s and Megan Springs scheduled for that weekend. The two schools are longtime rivals and Maggie reads that the reporter has interviewed both team coaches as well as the captains, Jamie Lord included. Maggie nods slightly in approval as she reads the kid’s stats. She’s good and she’s only twelve. The captain for Megan Springs seems to be on the same level. If the teams are matched this evenly, it should be a hell of a game. Maggie wonders if they show junior high hockey games on television. She doubts it. She’d be interested in watching though. 

And because she’s thinking about that tiny kid with red hair, she thinks about the pretty brunette woman that had been quizzing her on insects in the emergency room. Alex Danvers. 

Ms. Danvers. Junior High science teacher. Maggie nearly smirks at herself . She knows the type. Innocent and sweet and bubbly and everything she’s not. Normally, Maggie would love to fuck a girl like her and give her an orgasm that leaves her screaming and pleading for more. She gets pleasure out of showing women what they’re missing. She used to anyway. But when she thinks of the brunette with the four stitches on her pale skin, she thinks, instead, of her plump bottom lip and the freckles on her nose. She has no idea what’s wrong with her or why she’s thinking about these things. Besides, Alex Danvers would definitely be straight. 

Maggie’s mind wanders to Emily’s freckles. As a fair haired woman with her delicate alabaster skin, she had plenty of freckles on her skin and she had hated every single one of them. Maggie remembers that she tried to count them once, just as a joke, but Emily had snapped at her to knock it off and had rolled away, not speaking to her for the rest of the night. Maggie tried to tell her that she loved her freckles and wanted her to love them too but she hadn’t listened.

Someone knocks into the empty chair across from her and it bumps her table. “Sorry!” 

Maggie looks to see a tall and lanky kid – probably twelve or thirteen – wearing a private school uniform and with too many books between his arms. Maggie doesn’t know why but her eyes follow him as he makes her way through the people and comes to a stop at a table by the front window. And there is Ms. Alex Danvers, science teacher of St. Jonzz’s, sitting there with a smile on her face. She and the boy exchange a few words before he plops down in the empty chair opposite Alex, exhaling a deep breath. They’re actually not sitting that far away from her and Maggie wonders why she hadn’t seen her when she had walked in.

“I changed my topic,” the boy declares.

Alex is in the midst of taking a bit of her chocolate-filled croissant but she immediately places it down on the plate again, looking at him across from her with concern. “Winn, the project is due next week. I worry that you might not have time-”

“This is so much better than IT though, Ms. Danvers,” the boy protests. “I’m actually excited about this topic.” 

That makes Alex smile. Maggie can’t deny that when she smiles, it illuminates her entire face. With the sun streaming in through the window behind her, the hint of copper to her brown hair seems brighter. Copper… strawberry blonde… Maggie almost looks away but she can’t. She hates red hair. That’s what she tells herself anyway. But Alex’s hair isn’t red. Not at all. It’s dark and thick and Maggie watches her now tuck a strand of it behind her ear.

She smiles at the boy named Winn. “Tell me all about it.” She shifts in her seat and Maggie can see her cross her legs underneath the table. Today she’s wearing black sacks, matched with a black and white striped blouse, and there are black high heels on her feet. 

“Okay,” Winn takes a deep breath, beaming. “Have you ever heard the expression ‘ _ a canary in a coal mine’ _ ? In the 1900’s and earlier, coal miners brought canaries with them into the mines to act as early warning signals. The canaries were very sensitive to low levels of dangerous gases, so if the birds stopped singing, or got sick, then the miners knew to leave immediately, even if they felt fine. Well…” He pauses. “Frogs can do the same thing. They are incredibly sensitive to changes in their water and land environments. They can alert us to the dangers of our waters. I want to go to Central Park and study the ponds there. It’s still warm enough out. There will still be frogs. Increased sunlight, pesticides and chemicals, parasites, they can all be factors when determining a frog’s early development. If there’s a change in the environment, there can be malformations. That’s what I want to study for my science project, Ms. Danvers.” 

Alex is still smiling and even Maggie has to admit that Winn’s idea sounds like a good one. She can’t even remember her junior high science classes but she doubts she put  _ that  _ much effort into her homework. Alex Danvers must be one hell of a teacher.

“That sounds absolutely amazing, Winn,”  Alex tells him with pride and his smile stretches. He’s almost bouncing in his chair. 

“How did you think of it?”  Alex asks.

“I was at the park yesterday with Ja...” he quickly stops herself. “A friend,” he corrects himself. “And I chased her around with a frog I caught because… I’m an idiot. But we both noticed that one of her legs looked a little… weird.”

Alex laughs a little at that. “Well, truthfully, I am so excited to see your presentation now and read your report. Will you bring in a couple of frogs for your presentation?”

“I would have to. Right?” Winn opens the notebook on top of his stack of books and scribbles something down.

“It would certainly help with your visual requirement,”  Alex nods. “Make sure that you bring the frogs to my classroom next week before school starts though. We don’t want to risk them getting out and hopping in the hallways.”

“Thanks, Ms. Danvers,” Winn smiles and a minute later, he’s gathered his things and leaves the coffee shop.

Alone again,  Alex picks up her cup, taking a sip of whatever she’s ordered to drink and then she takes a bite of her chocolate croissant, wiping at her mouth with her napkin. She turns and looks over her shoulder out the window at something and then looks down at the watch on her wrist. Maggie looks down at her own. It’s almost a quarter to eight now. She watches as Alex begins gathering her things and she doesn’t know why – she doesn’t even realize really that she’s doing it – but suddenly, she’s up from her table and she’s standing in front of hers.

“How are the stitches?” Maggie asks her, surprising her, and Alex she leaps in her seat. She doesn’t apologize though.

“Oh!” Her eyes widen as she sees her and Maggie notices her cheeks blush. “Dr. Sawyer. They’re…” she touches them on her forehead. “They’re good. Great. The best stitches I’ve ever gotten.”

Maggie’s lips twitch in a smile. She notices that they kept doing that yesterday around her, too.

Alex stands up. “Thank you again,” she says.

“It’s my job,” Maggie shrugs, still looking at her. She notices and the blush on her cheeks deepen. “You have to get to school?” She asks.

“First bell rings at eight.” Alex takes her things and her eyes widen again when Maggie goes to the door and opens it for her before following her out. Maggie sees a black and brown German Shepherd  puppy with dark eyes sitting on the sidewalk outside the coffee shop, her leash tied to a parking meter and she’s surprised when the puppy begins wagging her tail and Alex goes to it. “Hi, baby,” she coos and the dog stands on all four legs, her tail wagging quickly. “Are you ready to get out of here?” She unties the leash and shifts her stack of folders into her other arm.

Again, Maggie doesn’t know why she does but she falls into step next to her. She’s willingly walking and talking with a woman. She hasn’t done this in a really long time and she isn’t entirely sure whether or not she likes it. It’s…strange in a way. To be doing this with a woman who isn’t Emily.  Alex Danvers is attractive and  very, very pretty, but she’s not sure if she’s beautiful or not. Or at least, she isn’t conventionally beautiful. But lately, all of the conventionally beautiful women… they seem less beautiful to her. 

“What’s her name?” Maggie asks her, her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket. 

“Gertrude. After-” 

“Stein?” Maggie nods. “Rose is a rose is a rose is…”

“... A rose. Loveliness extreme. Sweetest ice-cream.” Alex replies and she’s blushing visibly and she laughs a little. “My sister gave her to me. She’s very paranoid about Metropolis. She’s convinced you can get the plague from the subway. Anyway, when she got me Gertrude, I was packing my books and she just run around and took in her mouth my copy of ‘ _ Geography and Plays _ ’ and…,” she smiles, laughing a little again. Maggie’s lips nearly twitch upwards. “I’m a nerd,” Alex then tells her as if Maggie hasn’t figured that out already for herself.

But… she kind of likes it. Most women she’s hooked up with since Emily left have been the dumbest; rambling about this celebrity scandal or that new shoe line by some designer that Maggie can care less about. She wonders if those women even know what gravity is. Emily is very intelligent – one of the smartest people she has ever met – and she was able to go toe to toe with her on nearly every subject, always arguing with her no matter what stance she took. No matter what Maggie had said to her, she was always wrong.

“She’s my favorite writer,” Maggie admits, tilting her head to her side. “There aren’t so many openly lesbian poets and she’s a true icon in the world of gay culture.”

Alex nods, smiling at her. “When you struggle with your own sexuality and you’re confused and don’t know who you are or how you want to come out, role models are very helpful and inspiring.” 

“I couldn't agree more,” Maggie says. So, it seems Alex Danvers isn't so straight after all.

Alex clears her throat, patting Gertrude on her head.

“Do you have any pets?” She asks. Maggie shakes her head. “Any siblings?”

She can't help but think about Blue Springs. But again, she shakes her head. She can feel Alex looking at her but she doesn’t look at her and she doesn’t speak. They continue walking until Alex suddenly stops and Maggie turns her head to see that they’re across the street from the school now.

Maggie almost feels disappointed. She looks at her. “Does she sit in the classroom with you?”

“No,” she smiles. “The janitor is kind enough to watch her for me during the day. I hate the idea of keeping Gertrude cooped up in my apartment all day. Are you on your way to the hospital?”

“Yeah,” Maggie nods and she keeps looking at her.

She probably never would have noticed her if she hadn’t come into the hospital the day before. Her smile is bright and her cheeks are red and she’s definitely pretty but… Maggie finds herself  taking a step back. She isn’t sure why she walked with her. She doesn’t know anything anymore and she almost hates Emily because she knows how much she hates feeling stupid and helpless and is that why she left? Does she truly hate her that much when she told her that she didn't love her and then left her feeling like this? She hasn’t called her once since leaving. She doesn’t care. At all. Maggie's head begins to pound and she looks at Alex Danvers standing there.

She’s brunette and shorter than Emily and younger than Emily and she isn’t Emily in any way whatsoever but Maggie walked with her and watched her. Why? She pulls her cell phone from her pocket and opens up her contacts. Emily is the only speed dial there. Apparently, she can't delete it. She has slept with dozens of girls in the nine months since Emily has been gone but this is the first time she truly feels guilty and all she is doing is walking with a woman.

“Well,”  Alex shifts uncomfortably. “Have a good day.”

Maggie is still staring down at her cell phone, her thumb poised over the green call button and Alex feels ridiculous, standing there when she isn’t really even acknowledging her existence.

She has probably bored her – rambling on about her dog – and this is her way of dismissing her. There’s a lump in her throat she tries to swallow down and ignore.

“Goodbye,” Alex says quietly though she doesn’t know why she bothers.

She turns and after checking traffic, she begins walking across the street towards the school with Gertrude trotting in front of her. She feels warm with embarrassment. She thought that her walking with her from the coffee shop could possibly be nice but that has quickly been squashed. Her company and talking seemed to be the last things on Maggie's mind. She probably has a girlfriend or maybe she’s married. Alex shakes her head at herself. She is truly pathetic. The way she was thinking about Maggie last night, she is such a loser and she doesn’t know why but her eyes begin to sting as if she’s about to cry.

Instead of walking through the front doors with the streams of students arriving for their first period class, Alex walks around the building to the back where Ned, the janitor, usually is in the mornings, the door to the basement propped open as he airs it out since kids usually sneak in there to smoke cigarettes – or something more potent.

“Idiot,”  Alex hisses at herself and stops suddenly, turning to lean back against the wall. Gertrude stops and looks up at her curiously, cocking her head. She closes her eyes, trying to breathe. She feels like a freak because her arm had brushed against hers as they walked and it had made a tingle zing down her spine.

She pulls her cell phone from her bag and begins scrolling through her contact list. She’s about to call Lucy, her best friend since she was a child; but she doesn’t want to risk waking Laura. The baby wakes up several times throughout the night and Lucy and her husband James are absolutely exhausted. Right now, it’s best to just wait until Lucy calls first. And  Alex doesn’t want to call National City because with the time changes, Kara will be three hours behind and she’s either sleeping or having sex with Lena and Alex definitely doesn’t want to interrupt her during either of those things.

With a soft sigh, she returns her cell phone to her bag. She then crouches down in front of Gertrude and the dog almost seems to be smiling with her tongue hanging from her mouth. Alex smiles and rubs her behind the ears.

“You still love me even though I’m a complete failure with women, right?” She asks her.

The dog licks her nose in response and Alex laughs softly before turning her head and nuzzling her face into the side of the dog’s soft, furry neck. She exhales a heavy breath and distantly, she hears the first bell of the day ring. 

“Alright,” she stands up and straightens her back, putting on her best smile. “Come on, Gertie. Time to start the day,” and she goes off to find Ned before her first period class.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara asks Lena a very important question while Alex and Maggie get the chance to know each other better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys :)  
> Here I'm with an update! Thanks for your kind support, I'm feeling better but I need to stay at home and rest so I have more time to work on this story.  
> Things are getting interesting! As always, I hope you'll like it ;)

Kara lays on her side, her naked body curled in the light blue bed sheet, and she’s propped up on her elbow, watching as Lena stands at the open window, naked and smoking a cigarette. She only ever smokes after sex and Kara always takes it as a compliment.

"What are you thinking about?” Lena asks her quietly, looking at her, her cigarette almost finished. She taps ash out the open window into the softly falling rain. It’s cold in the bedroom but they’re both still too sweaty and hot to notice.

Kara smiles, shaking her head. She stretches her arm out and rests her head on it. “I don’t even know,” she admits and Lena smiles faintly. “Something good though.”   
“About me?” Lena jokes and then taking one last drag, she flicks the cigarette butt out the window and then closes it, snapping it shut. Instead of going back to bed and joining her, she firsts goes to the bathroom.   
Kara rolls onto her back and turns her head, watching her as she stands in the doorway, washing her hands and brushing her teeth. “Do you like living in your penthouse with your mother?” She asks, even though she knows just how much Lena hates that her mother has been back in Nation City for a month and lives with her. Lena gives her a look, not able to answer with a mouthful of toothpaste, and Kara just grins. “I guess I’ve been thinking about getting you away from it,” she reveals.   
Lena turns and disappears in the bathroom, spitting the toothpaste and rinsing her mouth out. When she comes out again, she still doesn’t get back into bed. Instead, she stands at the foot of it, looking at her, and Kara sits up, drawing her knees to her chest, hugging her arms around them. She finds it surprising that she isn’t nervous. She looks at her, meeting her silent gaze for a moment.   
“I’ve learned not to assume with you,” Lena finally speaks. “So I’m going to need you to continue talking.”   
Kara smiles and then shifts positions again, this time drawing her legs underneath her and sitting on them. Her eyes never leave Lena's. “When Alex left National City to go to Metropolis, she left this flat to me. But it seems too big and empty for just me. I thought about getting a pet but I don't think I'm just mature enough to look after… anything.”   
She’s never done this before and she realizes that she’s rambling like Alex has a tendency to do when she's nervous but she can’t seem to help herself. Maybe this is too soon. It’s only been three months. They still are learning things about one another and getting to know each other. Maybe if they live together too soon, it will only bring their demise about quicker. She can’t help but think that. She wonders how she’ll feel when it ends. If it ends. She wonders if she and Lena have a future. What kind of future will they have? Marriage and maybe even kids? She has never thought about being a mom before. She loves being Aunt Kara to her niece, Laura, James and Lucy's daughter, but being an aunt is completely different than being a mom. Does Lena want to have kids someday?

“There’s more you want to say,” Lena guesses, staring at her, her arms now crossed over her breasts. She's thin and pale and her skin seems flawless. She's beautiful.

Kara takes a deep breath and shifts once again, reaching out and touching one of her arms. Lena unfolds them and she takes one of Kara's hands. She smiles.“

Move in with me,” Kara says and she’s never felt more brave. “I keep cigarettes in the top drawer of my nightstand and kale in my fridge just for you. And I want to keep keeping them there.”

Lena grins. “Moving in is a pretty big step, love. Are you sure you’re ready?”   
“I’m asking, aren’t I?”   
“Actually, you didn’t ask me. You just kind of stated in an orderly tone. You looked like your boss, Cat Grant. I’m not one of your interns. You can’t boss me around,” she’s teasing her and Kara pretends to pout.   
“Are you sure you’re ready?” Kara asks her, lifting an eyebrow in a silent challenge.   
Lena is still grinning and letting go of her hand, she slides both onto her cheeks, tilting her face up so their eyes remain locked. “You’re so much prettier than my mom. And I like you so much more than her, too.”   
Kara smiles, her chest easing and she doesn’t know why she had been nervous. Her hands slide onto her hips and she tugs on her. Lena finally crawls back onto the bed and her lips meet hers. Her fingers are in her hair and her chest is pressed to hers. Lena slowly lowers Kara's back onto the bed and she pulls her with her, her body settling down on top of hers and her thighs spread naturally, cradling her hips between them. Kara wants her again and it amazes her how quickly she can arouse her on with just a kiss.   
“Give me an answer,” she murmurs against her lips, her fingers drawing patterns on her back. Their eyes are open as their lips meet once more – softly and lightly and she wants to roll her over, pin her wrists to the bed and have her way with her. Kara has a rare day off and she wants to spend it in bed. Should she start referring to it as their bed?   
Lena smiles. “Yes, Kara. I want to move in with you. Save me from Lillian Luthor. Please.”

Kara laughs and lifting her head, she presses her lips to Lena's. Her hands glide over her hair and she opens her mouth against hers, beckoning her tongue to come forward with hers. Lena happily complies and they both moan softly as their kiss deepens and Lena's hands roam down the sides of her body, coming to grasp her hips.     
“I do have one request, though” Lena says.   
“What?” Kara already sounds breathless and Lena smiles. Kara pulls on one of her ears and Lena snickers at her girlfriend’s growing discomfort. “Lena,” Kara then whines softly, shifting, trying to tug her face to her lips again.   
Suddenly, she hears a sudden ringing from the nightstand and they both turn their heads towards it. Kara realizes that Cat is calling her.   
“Perfect timing,” Lena squeezes her hips and nips at lips. “Don’t even think about it,” she murmurs and Kara looks back to the phone. “My request is this: naked time is our time, I don't care about your Cat's sudden need of a latte, a salad or a cheeseburger,” Lena says.   
Kara swallows and nods, looking back at her, smiling faintly. “Naked time is our time.”

* * *

 

Maggie’s hands still the instant she winces. It’s slight and barely noticeable but she has definitely just winced and there is a pull between her eyebrows.

“Are you okay?” Maggie asks and Alex nods automatically, not looking up at her. Instead, she stands in front of her and she stares straight ahead at her chest.

Alex takes a deep breath. “I’m okay. I’m not sure why… it just hurts a little.”   
“It’ll be over in a second,” Maggie assures her, staring into her face.   
It has been a few days since the coffee shop and she walked with her to the school and she hasn’t stopped feeling like shit over the way their walk had turned out. She had become distracted and she barely paid her any attention and she knows that she had hurt her feelings. It’s strange to her… For the first in the nine months since Emily has left, she actually feels guilt about something she had said or done to someone. She doesn’t know a lot about her – hardly anything – but Alex seems too sweet. She doesn’t deserve Maggie treating her like shit. She wants to tell her that she’s sorry but she has trouble forming the words. She's always been such an idiot with words anyway. Anything she says is usually the wrong thing. Her actions have always spoken for her so much better than any word.   
“Am I going to have a scar?” Alex asks, still not looking at her.

Maggie shakes her head. “I’m the one who put the stitches in. I can guarantee you that you won’t have a scar.”   
That makes Alex smile faintly. “Someone’s confident.”   
“I’m the best,” she shrugs casually but she very much means it. As a way to distract Alex as she begins to gently pull the stitches out, Maggie asks, “Are you from Metropolis?”   
“No,” Alex answers quietly. “My family’s from Midvale, California. My mom still lives there. While my younger sister lives in National City.”   
Maggie’s hands still at the answer.   
Realizing she is silent again and drifting off, she shakes her head slightly. “And you’re a science teacher. You seem to really like it.”   
Alex keeps smiling faintly. “I love it,” she says softly. “Kids in junior high… it’s such a horrible age. Everything about you is changing and you don’t know who you want to be. I remember when I was thirteen. I was… horrible.”   
“You?” Maggie is surprised.   
She nods. “I have no idea how my mother put up with me or my sister at that age.” She smiles. “Anyway, I’ve always been such a huge science nerd. My parents would buy me all of those science kits and chemistry sets and I was always doing experiments. My dad, he was a scientist and he taught me so much. I guess… I just want to be able to show kids that science can be fun. I hope that some of them love it like I do. And I also hope that I’m able to help some of them at this age.”

“I'm sorry about your dad,” Maggie says, almost automatically and Alex just shrugs.   
She’s young and passionate and idealistic. Alex Danvers is absolutely nothing like her. Maggie can’t help but notice this as she removes the last stitch and then after quickly disposing and cleaning up everything, she then unscrews the lid from a jar of special cream she pulls from the top drawer of a supplies cart.   
“I use this on all of my patients,” she explains as she gently rubs some of it with the pad of her thumb on her forehead. “It helps with redness and this was a small cut. No scarring.”   
“Thank you,” she whispers, trying to ignore her touch on her skin and the warmth and close proximity of her body to hers. She’s trying not to make herself look like an idiot and she’s doing her best to control herself. She feels foolish for the way she behaves when she’s around her. She's a good looking – very good looking woman. So what? If them walking together the other day showed her anything, it’s that Maggie isn't interested in her.   
“And how’s Gertrude?” She asks, still rubbing the lotion with her thumb. Her skin was warm. Maggie is surprised she asks her that and the expression on her face shows that Alex’s surprised, too.   
“She’s good… After this, I’m taking her for a long walk in the park,” she says.   
Alex keeps staring straight ahead at her chest, still desperately trying to ignore Maggie's thumb on her forehead. Her hands fidget nervously, resting in her lap. She wants to ask if she can go but there’s something inside of her that hopes there is a reason to linger. She’ll probably never see Maggie again after she’s finished and she leaves the emergency room. There will be no reason to seek her out and Maggie certainly won’t make an effort to bump into her. Alex nearly sighs. She wishes Kara or Lucy were here with her. She feels a bit more comfortable with herself when she’s with them. Lucy's married and Kara is in a steady relationship with her girlfriend and it seems they both know that they can say anything and nothing will come of it. It’s not like that for Alex. She’s single and she supposes a part of herself is looking. And a much larger part is interested in Dr. Maggie Sawyer though it seems pointless.   
“Has Winn given his presentation yet?” Maggie asks, surprising them both further.   
She finally removes her thumb from her forehead and she screws the lid of the jar back on.   
“Tomorrow,” Alex smiles and she’s touched that Maggie remembers something she overheard in a coffee shop a week ago. “He’s very excited and honestly, so am I. Winn’s one of my best students. I love all of my students but sometimes, it’s so hard to get them to sit and truly think of something great and out of the box for them to do for their experiments.”   
“I don’t even remember my junior high science classes or any of my teachers, really. I’ve tried to remember,” Maggie admits. “But it was a while ago. I’ve been through a lot of schooling since then.”   
“Well,” Alex smiles, feeling her heart thump a pace faster. “You’re a brilliant doctor now. You must have done very well in school, including junior high science classes.”   
And then, for the first time since she’s met her, Maggie looks at her and she meets her eyes and she sees her smile. Not a twitch of her lips that disappears barely within a second of forming. No. She's actually smiling. Her lips pull upwards and they stay that way and she can see her white perfect teeth and a pair of cute dimples on her cheeks. Alex smiles in return, feeling a strange sense of accomplishment and her heart pace quickens beneath her breast. Her cheeks are warm and her stomach is in a knot for some reason but Maggie keeps smiling and she does, too. She has a beautiful smile – her eyes crinkling at the corners – and Alex knew that she would. It stays there for a moment or two and Alex can’t look away from her now, even as the smile eventually drops and the corner of her mouth remains twisted in a smirk.   
“Brilliant, huh?” Maggie jokes and Alex smiles, shrugging her shoulders. “I must admit I skipped a grade during high school, so maybe I'm brilliant, after all.” She chuckles and Alex laughs too.   
“You didn’t mangle my forehead. You’re brilliant in my book,” she responds.   
But suddenly, it’s as if an invisible person has come and has swept an equally invisible curtain closed between them. Maggie's mouth drops again and the familiar distance returns to her face – the same expression Alex is now familiar with even after just a few short meetings – and her own smile fades. The moment is gone – whatever the moment had been. Alex almost feels as if perhaps she has imagined it all happening in the first place.   
Maggie clears her throat and takes a step back. She's not sure what’s going on. This woman sitting on the exam bed has gotten her to smile her first smile since Emily has left. 

Emily. 

She’s probably smiling every day now that she’s in Washington DC with her new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Maggie has a pounding headache and she feels sick to her stomach because she has just smiled as if everything in her life is exactly as it should be when actually, everything is complete shit around her and she doesn’t know which way to turn because no matter where she looks, she sees Emily and she hears her voice and she won’t leave her alone. And she doesn’t want her, too. Not yet. She still grasps onto the hope that she’ll come back and things will work out between them and they’ll be able to be together.   
She looks at Alex and she’s looking at her as if she’s waiting for something from her. Maggie can’t give her anything though. There’s something about her. She doesn’t know what it is. She thinks she’s never seen it before in a woman. There’s some sort of brightness coming from her that Maggie can feel tingling her nerves as if she’s a miniature version of the sun and for some unknown reason, she’s chosen her to radiate upon.   
“Here,” Maggie extends the small jar of cream towards her. “For any scar, thanks to Dr. Sloan from the plastic surgery department.”   
Alex takes it, their fingers touching for just a brief second before her hand is gone. “Thank you,” she says quietly, turning her head away, and she slips down from the bed. She’s wearing a red sweater today with a light brown leather jacket, a pair of skinny jeans and tan heels. She tucks a lock of her hair behind her ear as she slips the jar into her bag and then slings the strap onto her shoulder. “Are you sure I don’t have to fill out anything or…” she forces herself to look at her again.   
“You’re my last patient of the day and it took me five minutes. It would take you longer to fill out the phonebook they would give you,” Maggie says, squirting some hand sanitizer from a bottle into her palm, rubbing it into both of her hands. “I’m done for the day,” she then feels the need to tell her again.   
Alex can see the door and it’s been opened a crack. She wonders if she can wedge her foot in and keep it open. “Do you have any plans for the evening?” She asks. Despite her confusion and nerves, she wants to keep talking to her. There’s something about Maggie besides her incredible looks that she can’t get out of her head.   
“Do you mind if I join you and Gertrude on your walk?” Maggie asks before she can stop herself. Alex’s eyes widen and Maggie rubs her neck – a nervous habit she’s developed over the years. She isn’t sure why she asked her that. “I always need fresh air after fifteen hours here.”   
“Of course you can join us,” Alex replays, nodding, and she realizes that she probably looks too eager but she is and she isn’t going to act otherwise. “We just have to stop at the school first so I can get Gertrude from Ned, the janitor who watches her for me.”   
Maggie nods. “Can you give me a few minutes? I just want to change.”

“Of course. There’s a bench outside-”   
“It’ll only be a few minutes,” Maggie tells her and then turns, striding from the ER, leaving both herself and Alex with the same exact thought. What the hell is going on?

* * *

 

The last week of September is cool and there is a breeze blowing up the river that chills those who aren’t dressed warmly enough to be protected against it. Maggie wears jeans and a white button down shirt with a black jacket and after so many hours among patients, E.R. and operating rooms, she has thrown her hair up into a ponytail but a stubborn strand always comes loose.

Gertrude is happily trotting in front of Alex, a red leash securely latched to her collar.   
They walk to the park and then turn down one of the random paths – all done in silence. Maggie looks at her next to her from the corner of her eye, her hands buried in her jacket pockets. Alex smiles as she watches Gertrude and she just seems so happy with the world around her – Maggie doesn’t understand it. Why is she so happy? It’s completely beyond her comprehension. She tries to remember if she’s ever been that happy.   
“Do you want one?” She asks suddenly, startling Alex, and she points to a hotdog cart ahead.   
Alex smiles. “I’d love one. I haven’t eaten since eleven.” She begins to reach for her wallet in her bag but Maggie stops her with a hand on her arm. It lingers there for a second too long before she pulls away and walks ahead of her, reaching the cart first and signaling to the vendor for two hotdogs. “Just mustard on mine,” she tells the vendor and smiles at her as Maggie hands her the hotdog with extra napkins. “Thank you,” she says and then looks at Maggie. “Thank you for dinner.”   
“Anytime,” Maggie nods. “Relish, onions and mustard,” she then tells the vendor.   
“Gross,” Alex’s nose wrinkles.   
Maggie almost smiles again. “To which part?”   
“Relish,” Alex shakes her head. “I actually really like pickles. The taste of relish though… it just has never agreed with my tongue.”   
“So you’re a picky eater,” Maggie says, handing the vendor a few dollar bills. “Want something to drink?” She asks her.   
“I’m not a picky eater…” Alex points to a can of coke and Maggie hands the vendor a bit more money for the coke for her and a bottle of water for herself. “I just know what I like,” Alex shrugs before taking a small bite of the hot dog. A drop of mustard clings to her bottom lip and Maggie watches as she licks it away with the tip of her tongue.   
She quickly looks away and heads towards a nearby bench. She plops down and begins to eat her hot dog, almost devouring it in a few large bites, realizing she hasn't eaten anything since last night. Alex sits down next to her, trapping the handle of Gertrude’s leash underneath her thigh so she can eat and drink with both of her hands.   
“Thank you again for dinner,” she says and Maggie nods, her mouth too full to speak.   
“Can she eat this?” Maggie asks after she swallows, referring to Gertrude. She holds up the last bit of her hot dog and the puppy sits obediently at her feet, her tongue hanging from her mouth, almost whining at the mere idea of receiving the offering.   
Alex smiles. “Watch your fingers,” she advises and watches as Maggie tosses the hot dog towards the puppy, Gertrude almost catching it with her mouth. It falls to the ground and she gobbles it up. “You have a friend for life now,” Alex tells her.   
Maggie almost smiles and she leans forward, rubbing a hand down Gertrude’s back. She has always wanted a dog. There had been a brief image of her and Emily with their dog. The real picturesque dream of life together. “I saw St. Jonnz’s beat Megan Springs over the weekend,” she says, leaning back, slouching slightly. She stretches her legs out in front of her, crossing them at the ankles. “Jamie had a really good game.”   
Alex is surprised that she took the time to find that out. She nods though proudly. “It was very exciting. I love hockey games where the score is so close, you have no idea what’s going to happen. It’s no fun when one team is so blatantly outmatched by the other. They’re both really good teams. Ours was just having a better night. Are you from Metropolis?” She then asks her suddenly.   
“No.” Maggie shakes her head and seems to tense up a little. “I’m actually from Blue Springs, Nebraska.” 

“Well, now you're living in this huge, chaotic city… it must be different.” Alex smiles and Maggie gives her a rueful smirk. “When you grow up as the only non-white, non-straight girl in a bigot and narrow-minded little town, I can ensure you that different is quite good, indeed.”

She doesn’t want to talk about that though. What can she say? Her own parents abandoned her when she was fourteen as they found out she had told a girl from her school that she liked her. They had abandoned her like a wet puppy just in front of her aunt's house, just because she was gay. And she hasn't spoken to them since then. Sometimes Maggie thinks it would take her a minute or so to remember who they are, if she ran into them on the street. But fortunately they still live in that godforsaken place, far away.

“What about you? How’d you wind up across the country from National City?” She asks, before Alex can ask her more questions about her past.   
Alex shrugs. “I took the wrong plane,” she smiles and then takes another bite of hot dog. It tastes delicious and she wonders if it has anything to do with the company.   
And then something happens. Maggie laughs. It’s sudden and unexpected and it seems to burst from her mouth, surprising both of them. Alex smiles. The corners of her eyes are crinkling again and there are those dimples and Alex can see her teeth, bright and exposed. She's one of the most gorgeous women she’s ever seen and she can’t believe that she’s sitting on a park bench with her right now, watching her laugh over something she has said. She feels flattered and warm and she thinks that maybe she’s done something truly good for her. Maggie looks like a woman who needs to laugh more. Alex wants to be the one to help her with that.   
But then as if she suddenly realizes what she’s doing, Maggie stops, her smile vanishing, and she looks away, heat pricking on the back of her neck. She can’t remember the last time she laughed. What’s there to laugh about?  _ Oh, Maggie, by the way, I leave you because you’re hard-headed and insensitive and obsessed with work and a borderline sociopath. And I think you don't deserve to be happy. _ Yeah, that’s just a fucking riot.   
Maggie shifts, crossing her arms over her chest, and a heavy silence settles over the bench. Alex looks at her with her head turned away from her and she wishes that she could read her mind. What makes her stop so suddenly from showing happiness or having a good time? What keeps that curtain drawn around her?   
Her cell phone suddenly vibrates and Alex pulls it from her bag to see that she has received a new text message from Kara. She smiles as she reads it.  _ Lena’s moving in! I think moving in sex might be my favorite. _   
Alex laughs softly. “My sister’s girlfriend, Lena, is moving in with her.”   
She doesn’t expect Maggie to respond and she quickly types Kara a response –  _ I’m so happy for you both! Did you tell mom? _ – before slipping the phone back into her bag. Gertrude comes and rests her head in her lap and she scratches her behind her ears.   
“ _ Girlfriend _ ?” Maggie suddenly says, looking at her with a questioning look.   
“Apparently, heteronormativity doesn't belong to our family,” Alex just shrugs, smiling. “Kara is bi and Lena is really nice and she treats my sister great. Kara… hasn’t had the best taste in men.”   
“Married?” Maggie guesses.   
“The last one was and failed to mention it to her until the wife showed up,” Alex sighs and shakes her head. “Lena and Kara just fit together.”   
“And what about you? Do you have a boyfriend, a girlfriend?” She asks, wondering why she’s just now asking her this. Even though there have been some signals about Alex's gayness, she doesn't want to assume anything.   
“Oh goodness, definitely not boyfriend,” Alex shakes her head again, making a face. “And no, I don't have a girlfriend, either,” she says and she seems amused. “I'm just one of those people,” she smiles. “My job is my life,” she then further explains.   
“Ah,  _ those _ people. I’m one of those people, too,” Maggie says, the knot in her chest easing a bit though her head is still throbbing. That’s not anything new though.   
“Of course you are,” Alex is still smiling warmly and Maggie is finding it difficult to look away from her. “You’re a doctor. You save lives. What you do is so incredibly important and needed.”   
Maggie is quiet for a moment, a bit uncomfortable. People usually don’t praise her for anything. She's not sure what to say. If she's trying to sleep with her, she’d say an empty compliment and flash her a smirk and ask her if she wants to see a view of the park from her apartment. But she’s looking at her and she’s smiling and her eyes are so brown and welcoming. She thinks of Emily's eyes – cold and clear.   
“You, too,” she says and then clears her throat when Alex looks at her with a hint of curiosity. “You’re a teacher. You teach and shape those lives. You know? What you do is just as important.”   
“But you’ve said yourself that you don’t even remember your teachers,” Alex teases her.   
Maggie shrugs. “Maybe I don’t but you know what? I was in junior high when I decided that I wanted to be a doctor. I remember that. That’s something. And I bet it was because of my junior high science teacher.”

The smile that blooms across Alex’s face then is so bright and happy, it’s blinding. Maggie knows she’s never made a woman smile like that before. She wants to smile, too, but instead, her lips give a little twitch before they give up. She can’t stop staring at her though. There’s just… there’s something about her. She can’t put her finger on it. Not yet anyway. Maybe she’ll be able to soon. She does know she wants to try to figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update may be on Saturday (yes, I'm spoiling you❤)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie keeps being a little matchmaker, while Maggie finally makes a move towards Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :)  
> Thanks to my flu, I can update this story every day... I'm definitely spoiling both me and you lol  
> Thank you for you support, so far ❤  
> So, the new chapter is here, enjoy!
> 
> I've read that in DC comics, Metropolis equates with New York City. Thus, all the places of this story are inspired by NY topography.

The woman with the bleached blonde hair lifts her head from the pillow, stretching her arms as she looks at the alarm clock and then at Maggie as she tugs on a fresh thermal shirt and a pair of yoga pants. “Are you leaving?” She asks sleepily.

“Yeah. And you are, too,” Maggie says, sitting down to tug on her running shoes. She glances over her shoulder to see her still lying in bed. “Get up. I need you out of here.”

“You don’t have to be such a bitch about it,” the woman grumbles and Maggie smirks, shaking her head, not responding. “Can I at least pee first?” She asks, getting out of the bed. Maggie gathers her clothes from off the floor and toss them onto the bed.

“No,” she says.

The woman sighs heavily and gets dressed silently. “I thought you were nice last night.”

“I guess you thought wrong,” Maggie shrugs.

“What’s your problem?” She asks in a huff and Maggie knows that she’s getting pissed off.

Maggie can’t blame her but at the same time, she really doesn’t care. She just wants her out of there. She hadn’t even meant to pick someone up the night before. It just sort of happened. It always seems to just sort of happen. She’s not even enjoying it though – not anymore. She hasn’t enjoyed sex since Emily left and sex is something Maggie always loved having. But now… it’s just something to do. It’s automatic, her body going through the motions, not even really thinking about it. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel pleasurable or mind-blowing. She doesn’t feel anything. And that’s the problem. She’s desperate to feel something and she’ll get that feeling anywhere she can. 

Her mind almost seems to instantly drift off to thoughts of Alex Danvers, imagining her sitting on a park bench, eating a hot dog and smiling. She makes her feel guilty but she, at least, makes her  _ feel _ . When Maggie is with her, she’s always tempted to smile and she actually got her to laugh but she doesn’t feel like she should be doing those things. She knows that Emily is probably smiling and laughing with her new girlfriend and with her family, who has never truly accepted her. Maybe she’s even working on her marriage and feeling so fucking happy about her new like, what does it matter if Maggie is with a woman who makes her smile? Alex is so nice and sweet and she finds herself fascinated with everything she has to say. She tries to tell herself that it’s okay if she wants to see her again and she realizes that she does. What does that mean?

Ten minutes later, the girl with the too blonde hair is gone, huffing and giving her the middle finger – which actually makes Maggie grin – and then she’s shoving her bed sheets into the washing machine to clean them. Five minutes after that, she’s taken the elevator down and is outside, stretching her arms above her head. It’s cool outside – a crisp, fall morning – and taking a deep breath, she begins jogging down the sidewalk towards the park. It’s just a little bit past six so the sidewalks are still nearly deserted except for a few sporadic people – some on their way to work, others walking their dogs, everyone beginning their days as they do every other day.

She finds the path she and Alex had walked a couple of days earlier and she takes it now, her feet pounding steadily on the pavement beneath her. She hasn’t been running in a while, preferring to do her yoga exercise,  but this morning, she felt too anxious and decided to pick up the old habit again of going for a couple of miles. Her head has a steady thumping headache and she wonders if it will ever go away. She remembers it not being as bad when she was walking with Alex and Gertrude. Again, what does that mean? She has no idea what’s going on when it comes to science teacher Alex Danvers but it feels like thinking about her only worsens her headache. She hates not knowing and being confused but at least she’s feeling something.

Up ahead, she sees a tiny, slim kid running with messy dark red hair and Maggie picks up the pace, just to make sure. Jamie is running in shorts and a long-sleeve St. Jonnz’s t-shirt with I-pod plugs shoved in her ears. For a minute, Maggie runs next to her, not going noticed but suddenly, Jamie stumbles and Maggie grabs her arm to steady her.

“Stupid laces,” Jamie grumbles, stopping. Her eyes widen when she sees Maggie. “Dr. Sawyer, hi!” her grin is wide and Maggie nods, almost smiling.

“Morning. Better tie those,” she says and Jamie drops down to her knees, quickly tying and double-tying the laces before shooting up, bouncing a couple of times on the balls of her feet. “How are you doing, Jamie?” Maggie asks.

Jamie smiles as if she’s incredibly happy that she’s been asked. “Really good. I’ve just start to run every morning before school. Do you always run in the park around this time?”

“I used to but I haven’t in a while,” Maggie answers and Jamie bends one of her legs backwards, stretching it. “How far do you go?”

“Four. Two forward and then two back home. Wanna run with me?” Jamie asks her, excited at the idea and Maggie finds herself nodding. Together, they begin jogging at a leisurely pace back down the path. “You live around here, I’m guessing. Unless you’re already working at the hospital and taking a break,” Jamie tries to make conversation.

“I live on 5 th ,” Maggie answers. “Right across the street.” 

“Those must be some nice digs,” Jamie lets out an impressed whistle. “I live on 85 th .”

Maggie smirks. “That’s not exactly shabby either.”

Jamie shrugs. “It’s alright. I live with my grandparents. They’ve lived in the same building forever and I’m probably one of the youngest living there. I knew how to play bridge by the time I was six. Boys are always impressed by that.”

That makes Maggie smile. “And what about your parents?” She doesn’t mean to ask but she does anyway. She personally hates when people ask her about her own parents. 

“My mom was working in London during 2005 bombings, she has just taken the subway when it happened. She never came back,” Jamie says and she replies so casually, Maggie has to look at her. She seems completely un-phased by it and says it as if she’s reading something out of a textbook. “And my dad’s off somewhere. Europe, maybe. I don’t really know. He has always been away for work. He sends my grandmother postcards sometimes but I never get to read them.”

“I’m sorry,” Maggie says and it’s not even done so automatically or because it’s usually what a person says to another when they hear something like that.

Jamie shrugs again. “I was too young when my mom died, only five months old. And my dad… I guess he just didn’t want to be a dad anymore after that.”

“My parents were like that,” Maggie admits to her, even though that’s of part of her life that she usually tends to hide, she just feels as though she needs to tell Jamie everything. “They stopped being my parents when they found out I was gay. They abandoned me and I’ve been raised by my aunt for three years, until I left for college.”

“That sucks,” Jamie sighs but then she perks up as a thought occurs to her. “But you’re obviously a  _ kick-ass  _ doctor if you live where you do.  _ And _ you made Ms. Danvers look like I never even hit her with a door! So, who should care about who you like?”

Maggie smiles again. They pause for a moment, catching their breath as they both take gulps of water from the drinking fountain set up along the path. “What can you tell me about her?” She asks.

“Ms. Danvers?” Jamie looks at her and Maggie nods. “She’s super awesome. Definitely the coolest teacher at St. Jonnz’s. She’s really nice but she doesn’t take crap either. She’s from National City, because last year, we were studying weather and she explained why it’s so hot down there. She really likes astronomy. She told us that on our first day.” Jamie grins then, looking at her. “Do you like Ms. Danvers?” She asks.

Maggie doesn’t know how to answer that. She  _ does _ like her but not in the way Jamie is more than likely referring to. She likes their walks. She likes listening to her talk. There are things she likes about her, so in a manner of speaking, yes. She does like Ms. Danvers.

“She’s nice,” Maggie answers and Jamie keeps grinning, giving her a knowing look. “Come on,” she cocks her head to the side and they begin running again. 

“What about you? Star hockey player. I bet you break a ton of hearts.”

Jamie’s cheeks are flushed and Maggie can’t tell if it’s from their run or something else.

“It’s complicated,” Jamie answers.

“You are way too young for it to be complicated,” Maggie smirks.

“Well, there  _ is _ a boy but he’s younger than me-”

“How young are we talking? Because you’re thirteen, I guess…” 

“He’s twelve and is in seventh grade,” Jamie sighs. “It’s complicated, Dr. Sawyer. He thinks we’re friends.  _ Friends _ !”

Maggie’s lips quirk in a smile. She does not miss this age. She remembers what Alex had said about it a couple of days earlier in the emergency room as she removed her stitches.  _ Kids in junior high… it’s such a horrible age. Everything about you is changing and you don’t know who you want to be. _

When you’re that age, everything seems like it’s a life or death situation and in your mind, something can happen and ruin your life in an instant. Everything is dramatic and over the top and being a pre-teen sounds exhausting to Maggie. She thinks of how Alex knows this and wants to try and help them with this time in their life. She wants to make a difference. Maggie wonders if she ever wanted to do that herself. Even when she decided to pursue medicine, the prospects of money and maybe  _ finally _ getting her parents to notice her outweighed doing something good and making people's’ lives better – in the beginning anyway. Now, she loves being a doctor because she does love to help others but she knows that she was never as idealistic as Alex Danvers still is.

“So what do I do?” Jamie asks and Maggie is stunned momentarily.

She can’t remember the last time someone has asked her for advice – especially when it comes to advice on the opposite sex. Well, gee, Jamie, I don’t know. The most serious relationship I’ve ever been in was a total disaster and I’m still recovering from it. 

“What does he like?” Maggie asks.

“Like?” Jamie repeats.

“Interests. Hobbies. Does he like hockey?”

“Nope,” Jamie shakes her head quickly. “He  really can’t seem to stand any sports, actually. His favorite class is Ms. Danvers’s. I think he really loves science. I do, too, but I’m kind of crap at it. That’s why Ms. Danvers always has to tutor me.”

“Maybe this boy can help you. You can get him to tutor you and it’s a way to get to know him better and for him to get to know you, too,” Maggie suggests. “Does he know you like him? Or does he think you just want to be friends?”

Jamie sighs. “I helped him catch a bunch of frogs the other day. You think he would have figured it out by now. I  _ hate  _ frogs.”

Frogs… That’s interesting. “Huh,” Maggie smirks. “Winn?”

Jamie’s eyes widen as she stares at Maggie, her mouth hanging open. “How the hell did you… What?” Maggie just keeps smirking though and Jamie sighs heavily. “Yeah, it’s Winn.”

They’ve run longer than they planned and when they emerge from the park, their legs are burning and they’re both panting and sweating. Jamie leans forward, bracing her hands on her thighs, and gulping for air.

“Do you want breakfast?” Maggie asks. “My treat.”

“Definitely. Ms. Danvers is always at that coffee shop in the mornings before school,” Jamie points up the street and then gives Maggie a grin. “If you’re interested.”

“Shut up,” Maggie frowns at her and Jamie giggles as they walk in the direction of the small coffee shop.

It’s not that crowded and Gertrude is sitting on the sidewalk, tied to a parking meter, as she is every other weekday morning. Maggie smiles when she sees the German Shepherd and as if she recognizes her, Gertrude begins wagging her tail. Maggie rubs a hand on the dog’s head as they pass and as they enter the coffee shop, her eyes fall upon Alex almost instantly. She’s sitting at her usual table in front of the large window, sun streaming around her and for a moment, it’s like as if she’s surrounded by a halo. It wouldn’t surprise her if she is. Her hair is down as always and Maggie wonders if she has never grown it out long. Today, she’s wearing dark blue pants and a white and blue striped button down, with a gray jacket and gray high heels. Maggie’s eyes linger on her. She’s pale and thin and she looks good that morning. Actually, every time Maggie has seen her, she looks good. Is she allowed to think that?

Jamie walks up to her without a care in the world and she’s in the middle of sipping on a cup of something when she plops down in the empty seat across from her. She immediately smiles upon seeing her and Jamie grins. In front of her, there are piles of folders.

“Morning, Ms. Danvers,” she greets and for a second, Maggie’s almost jealous of some thirteen-year-old kid and how easily she can just walk up and talk to her.

“Good morning, Jamie. Running?” She asks, taking in her rather sweaty appearance.

“Yep,” she nods and then hooks a thumb over her shoulder. “And now Dr. Sawyer’s offered to buy me breakfast.”

Alex’s eyes widen. “Dr…  _ Sawyer _ ?” She looks and sees Maggie and slowly, she approaches.

“Hey Danvers,” she says with a slight nod of her head towards her.

For a moment, Alex stares at her and then, as if snapping herself out of it, she forms a wide smile just for him. “Good morning. I didn’t know the two of you were running buddies.”

“First day trying it out,” Maggie then nudges the back of Jamie’s shoulder. “Hey. What do you want to eat?”

Jamie turns in her seat towards the glass display cases of food. “An egg sandwich?” She asks, hopeful.

“You got it,” Maggie nods and then looks at Alex. “Do you need anything?” She sees that she has a chocolate-filled croissant and a small bowl of fruit salad. She seems to eat the same thing every morning.

“I’m great, thank you,” she’s still smiling at her and Maggie gazes at her for another minute before turning and heading towards the line to order. Even with a sweat stain on the back of her thermal shirt, she looks amazing. Alex doesn’t mean to stare – especially not in front of Jamie – but whenever Dr. Sawyer…  _ Maggie  _ is around, she doesn’t seem to have control of herself. She feels like she’s always making a fool of herself in front of her. She takes a deep breath and looks at Jamie, sitting across from her with a grin.

“Once Dr. Sawyer brings me my egg sandwich, I need to get out of here,” she casually informs her. “I need to get home and change before school. You’ll be okay alone with her?”

Alex isn’t sure why but she almost blushes. “Yes, Jamie. I’ll be just fine, thank you.” Jamie keeps grinning at her and she fears that her attraction to the gorgeous surgeon is horribly transparent to the thirteen-year-old. She needs to control herself. Jamie is her student and she’s her teacher and it’s unprofessional and wildly inappropriate of her to be acting like some giggly school girl in front of her. “Want to go over your quiz since you’re here?” She asks, reaching for a folder in the stack.

Maggie orders Jamie her egg sandwich with a carton of orange juice and instead of ordering her usual double toasted bagel for herself, she instead orders her black coffee and then a dairy free blueberry scone. When she comes back to the table with the plastic number that will be called when their order is complete, Alex is leaning over, going over something with Jamie, a piece of paper in front of her with a red ‘B’ at the top of it. The table next to them is empty and Maggie chooses to sit down in the seat next to Alex. She likes sitting where she’s able to watch the door and the rest of the coffee shop. She doesn’t know why. She has just never liked surprises.

“Check it out, Dr. Sawyer. Bonus question,” Jamie grins and hands her the quiz over.

Maggie smiles when she sees the last question.  _ What are Goliath Beetles known to eat when in captivity? _ Jamie had written  _ DOG FOOD _ in all capital letters and earned three extra points. She nods, handing Jamie pack the piece of paper. “Great job,” she tells her.

“32!” One of the workers behind the counters shouts and Maggie tosses Jamie the plastic number, who eagerly bounces out of her seat to gather their food. Maggie can feel Alex’s eyes glancing at her and she turns her head to meet her gaze. 

It’s a quick moment but it’s one that’s filled with a hundred different things going on. Their eyes meet and she smiling faintly at her but all Maggie can do is stare at her. The sun is shining through the window and it’s almost as if it’s ignoring her entirely and casting itself completely onto Alex. She sees the freckles on her nose and her bottom lip looks even fuller to her this morning. Her brown eyes are warm and there is a faint sparkle to them as she looks at her – as if  _ she  _ is the reason for the sparkle. That’s completely unfathomable to her. Emily has never looked at her like that so why would Alex Danvers?

Jamie comes hurrying back to the table, dropping off Maggie’s coffee and her scone, thanking her over and over again for the egg sandwich and the juice and then thanking Alex for her quiz and then in a whirlwind, she’s gone, not wanting to be late for school and still having to go home to shower and change. Alex’s cell phone vibrates and when she opens the new message from her best friend, Lucy, she laughs and leans over to show Maggie the newest picture of her niece, Laura. And Maggie leans in to see, probably too close, and she can smell the gentle hint of perfume on her neck. She smells like fall and fresh air. Maggie closes her eyes and her words are soft, washing over her like a breeze.

Her head jerks back suddenly, her elbow knocking into the table.

“Are you okay?” Alex stares at her with concern.

She nods and hurries to grab her scone. “Yeah.” She clears her throat and she stares down at it, before taking a small bite. “Who is she? Is she your niece?”

Alex nods, looking back down at the picture on her phone, still smiling. “But she’s not Kara’s. Goodness, Kara is too young to be a mom, she can’t look after anything. She’s my best friend Lucy’s daughter. Laura. She’ll be one soon. There’s going to be a huge party for her.”

“You have only one sister, right?” Maggie asks her and then chews on another piece of scone. Her heart, which has been racing just moments earlier, has slowed down to its normal beat and while her headache remains, the rest of her body has seemed to calm down. She has no idea what the hell just happened but she already wants to forget it.

Alex is chewing on a piece of strawberry and she chews and swallows before answering. “Kara is my only sister. Actually, she had been adopted by my parents when she was nine, her parents died in a plane crash. It was terrible.”

“That sucks,” Maggie says quietly, looking down at her coffee and she feels like an idiot. There has to be something better to say in response.

But Alex agrees, nodding. “I was twelve at that time and to be honest, I wasn’t so nice with her when she showed up. I liked being an only child, but then Kara just being Kara, all smiles and sunshine and sweetness, just gained me over. We’ve been inseparable since then. And now, Kara still lives in California with her girlfriend Lena.”

Maggie’s scone is forgotten as she listens to her. She likes listening about her life. “And then there’s you.”

“And then there’s me,” she shrugs, smiling at her. She takes a sip from her coffee cup.

“That’s not coffee,” she states. Alex smiles around the rim of the cup, taking another sip. “What the hell is that?” Maggie wonders but she’s almost smiling as she does.

“Black tea with a splash of milk,” she then shrugs almost as if to say  _ What else would I be drinking? _ and then takes another sip. “I love it. You should try it.”

Loves tea and astronomy, Maggie doesn’t know why but she’s filing all of this away.

“Well, then you will take me to the E.R.” Alex gives her a quizzical look and Maggie just smirks, “I’m allergic to milk. But you should try vegan ice-cream instead. It’s quite good.”

“Never,” Alex pretends to gag and then she giggles, “That’s gross.”

Maggie shakes her head and she almost laughs too. Instead, she asks, “I’m going to ask again. How’d you wind up across the country from National City?” 

“Well,” she smiles. “It isn’t like it’s some fascinating story. After earning my PhD at National City University I was gonna be a researcher, so I had a job up in Seattle for a while. But then I realized I needed more than just a microscope and an Excel spreadsheet. I wanted to make the difference and… be a teacher. So, after a while I started filling applications and St. Jonnz's got back to me almost immediately.” She wrinkles her nose and giggles nervously, “I don’t know why but they did and I still couldn’t be more grateful. So, I moved here and I just fell in love with the city.”

“How long have you been teaching there?” Maggie turns her body a bit more towards her.

“Two years,” she takes another sip from her cup of tea.

“So you’re… how old are you?” Maggie asks.

“ Twenty-eight. And how old are you?” She asks her.

“Thirty,” Maggie answers and she remembers her scone and she takes another bite. “Do you eat one of those every day?” She asks, abruptly changing topics, not wanting her to look at this like an invitation and have her start asking her own questions.

It doesn’t work. “Yes, I love them,” Alex smiles and then takes a bite of the chocolate croissant before wiping her mouth with her napkin. “So what about you? What made you decide to become a surgeon?”

Maggie exhales and shrugs. “I don’t know. I just always liked science and medicine. And I wanted to succeed, to show people I could be a doctor, despite everything. But… it’s a rush. Saving a person’s life. Making it better.”

She dares to look up from her blueberry scone and turns her head towards her. Alex is looking at her with a hint of a smile. Maggie watches as Alex's fingers brush along her forehead where her cut had been and she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. Her fingers twitch on her thigh and she quickly lifts her coffee cup up before she does something stupid like tuck that strand of hair behind her ear for her.

“Would you be interested in talking to my classes?” Alex asks her suddenly.

Maggie almost immediately shakes her head. “No,” she answers but it’s too blunt and she wonders if she’s hurt her feelings. She actually cares whether or not she has but Alex is still smiling that faint smile of hers. Maggie can’t figure out why someone smiles so much.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about… if you are,” she says. “They’re just twelve and thirteen year olds. They won’t murder you.”

“What the hell would I talk about?” Maggie wonders. “I have nothing to say to them,” she shakes her head again.

“You’re a successful surgeon and we’re going to be studying anatomy soon in my classes. You can talk about your job.”

“Right,” Maggie smirks. “Study hard and love science and be a nerd and you can be just like me.”

She watches as her faint smile disappears and it’s like he’s just been kicked in the chest. She glances over her shoulder, looking out the window and seeing Gertrude still on the sidewalk, and she finishes her tea, setting the empty cup down. Maggie shouldn’t have said that. She has hurt her feelings now. She watches with a heavy stomach as Alex begins gathering her folders and then she stands up to wrap her gray scarf around her neck.

“I should get going. Almost time for school,” Alex tells her, glancing at her as she slides the strap of her black bag onto her shoulder.

“I’ll walk you,” Maggie says, getting to her feet without a second thought.

“Oh… you don’t have to. I’m sure you have something you have to do,” Alex says but Maggie ignores her and goes to the door, holding it open for her, looking at her. Alex hesitates. Obviously, she has to get to school but she doesn’t know if she can walk with Maggie. She likes her. There’s something about her that she really and truly likes but Maggie makes her head spin and Alex doesn’t know what to think about her.

Taking a deep breath, she walks past her and feels her following behind. Gertrude stands up, wagging her tail, and Alex smiles, unknotting her leash from the parking meter. She feels Maggie walking next to her as she begins heading down the sidewalk, her arm occasionally brushing against hers. Alex doesn’t understand why she feels this around Maggie. She’s never felt this way around any woman and she almost wants to laugh that this is the woman her attraction has seemed to choose – a woman who’s distant, who acts sometimes as if she would rather be anywhere than with her. But she’s a woman that confuses the hell out of her, too. Like now. Walking with her after basically mocking her and what she does.

She watches Gertrude trot in front of her, can hear her heels tapping on the sidewalk, can feel Maggie glance at her occasionally.

“I’d like to have your phone number,” Maggie blurts out suddenly and they both look at one another, a shared expression of surprise on their faces. “That is… if you want to give it.”

“Why… why do you want my number?” Alex stutters.

They come to stop at the corner across from the school and stepping out of the way of other pedestrians, facing one another. Maggie has no idea what to say. Her eyes lock with Alex's and for a minute, she doesn’t feel as if she’s able to say anything at all. There is a dryness in her throat and she tries her best to swallow it down. She doesn’t know why she’s asked for her number. The thought formed and the question asked before she realized it. Now, Alex is looking at her with a trace of confusion in her eyes and Maggie doesn’t blame her. She doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing either.

“I don’t know,” she admits truthfully. “To talk about the weather, maybe?” Maggie realizes that she sounds like a complete idiot but when she sees Alex smile faintly, she almost smiles, too. Her chest feels better now that her smile as returned. She's not prepared in the least though for what that might mean.

“The weather?” Her smile grows a bit and she’s already pulling her cell phone out.

“Yeah… we can talk about why it’s so hot in National City. Or something,” Maggie rubs the back of her neck.

Alex laughs slightly. “That’s just a myth. And pollution. And honestly during summer it can be even hotter here in Metropolis. Here,” she hands Maggie her phone, already open to her contacts. “Give me your number first.” Maggie quickly types in her name and her cell phone number and then Alex takes the phone back. Their fingers brush together and again, Maggie feels a tingle that he doesn’t exactly want to think about right now. “And here, I’ll call your cell and then you’ll have my number,” Alex explains and Maggie watches her as she does that, calling her cell, bringing it to her ear to listen to it ring.

“I forgot it,” Maggie suddenly realizes. “But I promise that if you call, I’ll pick up.”

Alex looks at her, her head tilted slightly to the side, and it’s as if she’s studying her. Maggie almost looks away. She doesn’t know what Alex sees or what she’s looking for but she doesn’t know if she wants her to find it.

“Maybe we can go for another walk,” Alex suggests, still looking at her and she feels her heart beating, picking up speed.

“I’d really like that,” Maggie nods slightly. She stares at her for a long minute and again, her fingers twitch with this strong desire to touch her that she doesn’t understand. “See you around, Danvers.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex proves herself to be a great teacher while Maggie finally allows herself to smile more around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally feeling better, and as there's a big and hot sun shining outside, I am allowed to even take a walk :D
> 
> Have an amazing weekend you all. And thank you, for everything.

The last bell of the day rings and as always, her class clears out in record time. Alex begins straightening the room as she always does. Normally, she has her after-school tutoring for anyone that is interested but tonight, instead, there is St. Jonnz’s hockey game that has the entire school pulsing with excitement. There are two old-fashioned chalkboards and two whiteboards on the walls and she wipes both clean. She then begins picking up the stools and turning them over, placing them on top of the black lab tables.

She stops suddenly though when she sees Winn still sitting on his stool, staring down at his open science book.

“Winn?” Alex goes to him. “Is everything alright?” Winn keeps his head bent down and doesn’t look as Alex slowly sits down on the stool next to him.  
Winn still doesn’t look up or say anything. Instead, he pushes his textbook away and Alex sees something written in white marker on the black tabletop.

 _Frog Freak._  

Her heart sinks and she almost feels her eyes sting with tears as she looks at the crushed expression on Winn’s face. For a moment, Alex doesn’t know what to say and Winn looks as if words are the last thing he wants to hear. Instead, Alex reaches a hand out and covers one of Winn’s, giving it a squeeze.  
“Kids can be mean. Once, they called me Lexipedia in junior high,” Alex begins softly. “I have a photographic memory and I can read something and have it memorized in seconds. They would call me Lexipedia and I absolutely hated it. It took me a long time to realize who was my friend and who hung around me only because I was a Lexipedia and could do their homework.”  
“I should have done a project on IT,” Winn sniffles, keeping her head down.  
“I’m so glad you didn’t,” Alex gives his hand another squeeze. “I thought your report and presentation was brilliant, Winslow. The best I’ve seen in the two years I’ve been here.”  
Winn doesn’t say anything but he slowly closes the textbook and then slides it across the table towards him, slipping it into his backpack.  
Alex wants to tell him more – tell him that he's only twelve years old and in the grander scheme of things, what his seventh grade classmates think of him will not at all matter in a few years. There’s a whole world out there and Winn is so smart. He can do anything and go anywhere he could possibly ever want. She wants to tell him that those who think he's a Frog Freak are honestly and simply jealous of her because Winn is actually able to look at the world that surrounds them past his iPhone and Instagram account or who said what about someone else or what’s the latest fashion and style.  
“Would it help if I told you that you got an ‘A’ on your project?” Alex asks.  
Winn sniffles again but this time, he lifts his head and looks at Alex. “I would have given you hell if you hadn’t,” he says and Alex smiles.

“Thanks, Ms. Danvers,” he then says softly and Alex nods, still smiling faintly.  
“I know right now, it seems like the only thing that matters but someday, you’re going to wake up and you really aren’t going to care what people think of you. Having a hundred friends won’t matter. Quality over quantity. Remember that,” Alex says and Winn nods. “Are you excited for the game tonight?” She asks.  
Winn makes a face and shakes his head. “I hate sports.”  
Alex smiles and opens her mouth to say something more but there is a knock on the open classroom door. Both she and Winn turn their heads to see Jamie standing there, holding a cardboard box in her hands. She freezes however when she sees Winn sitting there and Winn quickly turns his head away so Jamie won’t see the wet tears on his cheeks or the redness of his eyes.  
“Hi, Jamie,” Alex smiles, standing up from the stool.  
“Uh, hey, Ms. Danvers. This was delivered for you to the office and I told them I would drop it off for you,” she explains and even though she’s looking at her, Alex can see her eyes dart frequently to Winn. She tries not to smile. Teens have no subtlety.  
“Thank you very much, Jamie. You can set it down there,” she points to the lab table at the front of the classroom as she goes to her desk to collect a pair of scissors. “I think I know exactly what this is. Winn, you want to see what we’ll be studying next?”  
Winn and Jamie crowd her desk as she carefully cuts through the packaging tape with her scissors and then unfolds the top flaps of the box. There are Styrofoam peanuts and bubble wrap and after digging around, Alex successfully pulls out a large plastic model of the Earth. Winn moves the box aside and Alex sets it down on the desk, smiling with excitement. It looks perfect. She had seen in one of her teachers’ catalog and when she had showed it to the head of the science department, Dr. Hamilton, he had enthusiastically agreed that it would be a great tool. Most students were visual learners and not all pictures in textbooks could help them.  
“So this is the Earth’s crust,” Alex says and then slowly, she finds the crack and carefully pulls the top layer – the crust – away, exposing another section underneath. “And this is the Lithosphere. Jamie, do you remember what comes after that?” She asks her, she had studied earth’s layers the year before in her class.  
Jamie is caught off guard and her mouth opens but no sounds come out. Alex feels bad for putting her on the spot and she glances nervously over to Winn.  
“The Asthenosphere,” Winn answers for her and Jamie’s cheeks flush.  
“That’s right, Winn,” Alex smiles gently. “The Lithosphere is the top part of the Upper Mantle. There’s the upper Mantle and the lower Mantle. The Upper Mantle is made up of silicates of iron and magnesium. It’s firm on top with liquid rock on the bottom.”  
“And that’s the Asthenosphere, right?” Jamie jumps in, leaning in closer as Alex carefully pulls away the Lithosphere layer to reveal the one underneath.  
“That’s right,” Alex smiles at him. “The Lithosphere is the coldest, most brittle of Earth’s layers. It floats on the lower, liquid part of the Upper Mantle, the Asthenosphere. I always imagine it like… like a marshmallow on hot chocolate.”  
“Cool,” Winn and Jamie say at the same time and Alex laughs slightly.  
“So if you haven’t guessed yet, Winn, we’ll be studying the Earth next in class,” she says.  
“And what about us?” Jamie asks, standing up straight again.  
“Anatomy. I’m actually trying to get Dr. Sawyer as a guest speaker. I think as a surgeon, she would have some great stories to tell,” Alex begins placing the Earth model back together, her mind instantly running off to thoughts of Maggie Sawyer at the mere mention of her. She thinks of that morning, eating breakfast with her and talking and then giving Maggie her phone number. She has been so confused when she asked for it. Up until that moment, Maggie hadn't really shown any sort of interest in her like that – not in Alex’s opinion anyway – but she gave her her number and she hopes that she’ll call. She imagines them going on more walks. Maggie smiled when she had suggested the idea. She has such a wonderful, warm smile. Not to mention her dimples. She needs to produce one more often.  
“Who’s Dr. Sawyer?” Winn asks.  
“She’s this awesome surgeon,” Jamie answers before Alex can. “Me and Ms. Danvers met her last week at Metropolis Gen and we went jogging together this morning. She does cardio-  surgery.” Jamie looks at Alex. “Ms. Danvers, you have to get her to talk to our class. That would be so cool.”  
“I’m working on it,” Alex says. “I think she might be nervous about speaking to all of you though. I think she’s worried that she’ll have nothing to say.”  
“I’ll talk to her,” Jamie says with confidence and Alex smiles, almost laughs.  
Winn’s cell phone vibrates and he reads his newest text message. “My mom’s driver is outside. I have to go.” He pauses though and looks at Alex. “Thank you, Ms. Danvers. For everything. Thank you.”  
“Of course, Winslow. Have a wonderful weekend,” Alex smiles warmly and with a wave and soft smile, Winn leaves the classroom, Jamie’s eyes following her out. Remembering the awful graffiti on the lab table, Alex disappears into the science supply closet that is between her classroom and Dr. Hamilton's, returning with a sponge and a bottle of cleaner. She stops though when she sees Jamie at Winn’s table, staring down at _Frog Freak_ . She tries to wipe it away with her thumb but it remains.  
“Who did this?” She asks and Alex is  shocked to hear how angry she sounds. She thinks she’s never hear Jamie like that. She's always grinning and cracking jokes and being charming. To see her angry, it’s almost unsettling in a way.  
“I’m not sure. I have a few ideas though,” Alex says, coming to the table and spraying at the words, she begins scrubbing, the white marker slowly disappearing.  
“Who?” Jamie asks, still staring down as if she can still see the words clearly.  
“Jamie, I’ll take care of it on Monday. Now, don’t you have to go and get ready for the game? It’s in a few hours,” she reminds her.  
Jamie is quiet for a moment and then she sighs heavily. “Yeah.” She reluctantly shuffles towards the door but then stops and turns to look at her. “You’re coming, right?”  
Alex smiles. “I haven’t missed one yet. Good luck.”  
“I don’t need it,” she shakes her head and the cockiness has returned. Alex laughs slightly and Jamie grins.

“Thanks, Ms. Danvers. See you later. Go Martians!” She shouts as she leaves.

Green and gold are St. Jonnz's colors, while the mascot is a Martian.  
Alex looks at the ticking clock on the wall. The school is quiet. It’s almost four o’clock and the game begins at seven. She has to get home and change before heading back here and she definitely wants to eat dinner beforehand. At the last game, she hadn’t eaten dinner and had bought two soft pretzels from the school concession stand that hadn’t agreed with her stomach at all.  
With her classroom straightened, she begins clearing her desk. She knows she's going to spend most of her weekend grading the seventh grade science reports and presentations that the students have done. The school’s grading system is done all on computers but Alex has an old-fashioned grade book that she prefers filling in first before entering it in on the computer and she makes sure she has that in her bag. With the stack of reports in her arm, she grabs her keys and begins turning off lights. She leaves her classroom door open however so the janitorial staff can clean it that night. Her heels click on the floors of the hallway as she makes her way down two flights of stairs to the lowest level of the school. In the janitor’s break room, there are several there, sitting around a table, laughing and playing a game of cards. Gertrude is lounging on the floor, chewing on a rawhide bone but the instant she sees Alex in the doorway, she leaps to all four feet, her tail wagging and she trots over to her.  
Alex beams and kneels down, rubbing the puppy behind her ears and she laughs as she licks her face. “Hey, baby,” she then looks to Ned, an older man with white hair and wrinkled, tanned skin like leather. “Was she good?”  
“As always,” Ned smiles and nods.  
“Thank you so much as always,” Alex stands up and reaches into her bag for her wallet. And, as always, Ned holds up his hands, taking a step back. She always tries to pay Ned every Friday for watching Gertrude for her everyday during the week but every Friday, he refuses.

She sighs, nodding, and smiles. “Have a wonderful weekend, Ned. Have a good weekend, everyone!” She calls out and then turns and leaves to a chorus of “Bye, Dr. Danvers!” from the other janitors.  
It is a cool late afternoon, the days getting colder and colder now, and she stands outside the school, a brisk wind blowing around her as she buttons up her jacket and wraps her scarf around her neck, all attempting to do this with one hand as she holds onto the stack of reports and Gertrude’s leash in her other hand.  
“Need help?” A sudden low voice speaks behind her and she jumps, instantly spinning around. Maggie Sawyer stands there, almost smirking, wearing dark green scrubs and her leather jacket with a brown paper bag in her hand.  
“Don’t scare me,” Alex frowns at her as she already begins plucking the folders from her arm.

“Thank you,” she then sighs with relief, able to button her jacket now without struggling. Gertrude is sniffing at Maggie’s shoe, wagging her tail.

“Thank you,” she says again, taking her reports back. “What are you doing? Are you stalking me?” She teases.  
Her heart is already fluttering in her chest as she looks into her eyes.

Her dark hair is mussed, and styled in a messy ponytail. Maggie looks so gorgeous, though. She looks tired and Alex wants to ask her how her day at the hospital is going but she doubts that she’ll give her an answer. She thinks of that morning, when she had actually talked with her. It had felt amazing to sit there and have a conversation with her though she still did most of the talking. That’s okay with her though because at least Maggie answered some of what she asked. She is very much a mystery to her – she wonders if she always will be – and she feels ridiculous for having a crush on her like she does.

It’s like her crush on Anne Hathaway during her _The Devil Wears Prada_ days. Crushing on Maggie Sawyer feels like that. Completely impossible and absolutely unattainable. Alex, however, can’t seem to help herself.  
“The hospital’s four blocks away,” Maggie answers, looking at her as Alex looks at her. “It’s not that far fetched that we run into each other. But yes, I am stalking you.”

Alex laughs and Maggie feels a small smile tug at her lips. It still feels strange to smile but it feels like maybe, the more time spent around Alex Danvers, the easier it will become. It’s even more strange but the idea of smiling doesn’t really petrify her anymore.

“Excited for the weekend?” She asks Alex, seeing as the breeze blows a strand of hair, the corner of her mouth catching it. That familiar twitch returns to Maggie's fingers and she watches as she tucks it behind her ear.  
“Very excited. It’s been a long week,” Alex nods, smiling – always smiling. “Do doctors have a typical weekend? I don’t know.”  
“Usually no,” Maggie shrugs. “But it’s easier as an attending. I try to schedule Sundays and Mondays off.”

“So are you working late tonight?” She asks.  
“Yeah,” Maggie nods and then holds up the brown paper bag. “And this is my dinner. I’m heading back to the hospital now. What about you?”  
“Me and Gertrude are heading home for a little bit and then coming back this way. St. Jonnz's has a hockey game tonight.”

Maggie instantly has an image of her in a cheerleader’s uniform – her short skirt flipping up and revealing pale thighs and panties.

“That sounds fun,” she says, not giving her thoughts away. She doesn’t even know where the thought came from. “Where is home?”  
“Midtown,” Alex answers and feeling a pull on the leash, she turns to see Gertrude trying to reach a tree lining the street. She takes a step backwards so she can relieve herself. Her eyes never leave Maggie’s though.

“If you’re able to make it, I would love to invite you to the game. It’s always an exciting time for being junior high.”  
“What time is the game?” Maggie asks without thought.  
“It’s at seven.” Alex pleads with herself silently to not become hopeful but she still can’t help but ask, “Would you be able to make it?”  
Maggie looks at her. She has such beautiful and warm brown eyes, she can’t get over it. It’s been nine months and she’s beginning to have trouble picturing the exact shade of blue Emily's eyes are. She used to know. She used to close her own eyes and see hers perfectly. Now, some of the detail is missing and there’s a sense of melancholy that comes with it. But she looks into Alex’s eyes and she can’t look away.  
“I probably wouldn’t be able to get there until eight… and that’s only if there are no emergencies that come in at the last minute,” Maggie suddenly hopes that there aren’t. Here is an opportunity to spend more time with Alex and she wants to take it. She enjoyed their breakfast and short walk together that morning – so much so that she asked for her number. That’s something she thought she would never do again and she knew she sounded like an idiot when she asked but as Alex had walked across the street to the school and she had walked to the hospital, Maggie had smiled to herself.

And Alex seems so enthusiastic as a teacher, Maggie can just imagine how she will be at a school’s hockey game.  
“I hope you can come,” she says. Despite her attempt, her hopes are definitely up. “Can you call me either way? If you can come, call me and I’ll meet you out here. You won’t have to pay for a ticket.”  
“Why, Ms. Danvers. Are you proposing that you sneak me into the game?” Maggie jokes and it stuns her that she’s done such a thing but then Alex laughs and that brightness that Maggie can’t get out of her head bursts across her face.  
“Just give me a call either way,” she says. “I really hope you call with good news,” she then adds. “Come on, Gertrude. Time to go home.”  
She takes a step to begin walking away but she stops herself. Maggie is still looking at her and Alex looks at her and she has no idea why but she suddenly leans in and kisses her on the cheek. Her dark skin is warm and Alex wishes her lips can linger but she quickly pulls herself back. Maggie’s face is completely blank as she continues staring at her. Alex feels her cheeks blush and she laughs slightly, too embarrassed to do anything else. She has no idea why she just did that. She shakes her head – at herself, at the situation – and then with one more faint smile, she turns her head, allowing her hair to fall and cover her peripheral vision – almost as if she’s hiding from Maggie – and she tries not to hurry away. She can feel her eyes on her as she walks down the sidewalk, the space growing between them. Her cheeks are on fire and she still doesn’t know what drove her to kiss her cheek but at the same time, she finds herself smiling. A part of her is very happy she did that. She thinks she’s been wanting to do that since the first time she met her.

 

* * *

 

Maggie stands on the sidewalk outside the school at 8:05, her cell phone to her ear. She can hear music pounding and cheers coming from the gymnasium. She doesn’t expect Alex to be able to hear her phone in that noise and she listens to it ring before her voice mail picks up. She doesn’t leave a message. Instead, she returns her phone to her jacket pocket and looks up at the school before her. She can leave. She can pretend that she was never hear. She can say that she called her to tell her that the hospital was packed and she wouldn’t be able to make it to the game.  
Or… she can go inside, pay the admission for a ticket and try to find Alex in the gym. She doesn’t know what to do; she doesn’t know what she wants to do. She wants to see her and she hasn’t gotten the feel of her lips on her cheek out of her mind for the past few hours. She wants to see her, she repeats to herself. She can go to any bar and pick up another woman and fuck her but… she wants to spend Friday night with Alex, sitting in a too hot gym with too many people and watch a junior high hockey game. She has a headache – constant and dull – but this time, she’s holding Alex completely responsible. Why does she let her confuse her like this? She never knows what she’s doing when she’s around her.

“Maggie!”

She is ripped from her thoughts and she sees her. Alex comes outside without a jacket, wearing blue jeans and a gray t-shirt with St. Jonnz's Martians in gold and green lettering on the front. Her hair is wavy and she looks so casual and… beautiful. She’s flushed and breathless and she’s wearing that bright, beaming smile of hers.  
“What are you doing coming out here without a jacket?” Maggie asks her as a greeting and Alex rolls her eyes at her before she takes her hand – Maggie lets her – and she guides her back towards the doors.  
The hallway is brightly lit and too hot with pep rally hockey banners on the walls and green and gold balloons and streamers. From the open gymnasium doors, Maggie can hear a pep band playing a song that has the crowd cheering. Quite a few kids are in the hallway, standing in small clumps, talking and whispering – all decked out in green and gold. Maggie’s wearing blue jeans and a white shirt and she feels completely out of place. She can’t really believe she's here.  
“How’s it going so far?” She asks. Her body is very much aware that they’re still holding hands, her fingers loosely locked with her as she guides her down the hallway.  
“We’re winning,” Alex throws her a smile.  
“Should I get a t-shirt?” Maggie asks as a joke as they pass a table selling all sorts of St. Jonnz's gear – t-shirts and hoodies and pennant flags to wave during the games.  
Alex lets go of her hand and they stand at the table together, looking over the shirts. She laughs and taking one, she unfolds a matching gray one and holds it up against her chest. “Definitely this one,” she nods her approval. “I love it.”  
Maggie looks down at it. There’s a green martian framed in gold on the front with _Careful… I’ll send you into the Space_ below it, also in gold. And then on the back, it says St. Jonnz's. Maggie sees that it’s only ten dollars and she looks at Alex and the way she’s smiling brightly at her. She feels strange, being there. Any minute now, she expects herself to snap out of it, come up with some excuse and then get the hell out of here. She doesn’t do this. This all feels wrong. She doesn’t do this with women. She fucks them and then doesn’t speak to them again. The only woman she wants to speak to, she picked up and moved to another city to forget all about her while Maggie is there, thinking of nothing but her. And that’s what scares her and feels strange. When she’s with Alex, she’s thinking about Alex. Not Emily. It’s not supposed to be like this. She loves Emily. She has never been in love before and she never knows what she’s doing but she knows she isn’t just supposed to forget about the woman she loves – no matter what she did.  
But then she looks at Alex and she’s smiling and she just looks so beautiful. Emily has a cool sort of beauty that intimidates people and makes her have complete control over them as they fall at her feet, willing to do anything for her. Alex’s beauty isn’t like that. Maggie isn't sure how to explain it. It’s more subtle but it’s there and she can’t stop staring. Should she feel guilty? Is her hand allowed to actually tingle from her fingers touching hers and is her cheek allowed to still feel the soft touch of her lips on her skin?  
It’s been nine months. Nine months of her here and Emily there with no phone calls or emails or contact of any kind. It’s as if she doesn’t even exist to her. She can’t stop thinking about her and she stopped thinking about her before she even left.

She looks at Alex.

Emily doesn’t care about her.

She doesn’t care about her.

_She doesn’t care about her._

It almost hurts for her to breathe as Maggie thinks it.

She has never been enough for Emily. She has never been enough for her own parents. She's never enough.

Will she eventually be enough for Alex? Does she care either way?  
Maggie already knows the answer to that though she’s not ready to even think it.  
“I like it,” she hears herself say and can feel herself smiling. She hands a ten dollar bill to the girl working the table who smiles and thanks her.

“Where can I…”  
“I’ll wait for you,” Alex points to the girls bathroom and Maggie disappears inside to change.  
When she emerges again, Alex is helping a student with her face paint, touching up the #1 on her cheek.

Maggie watches for a moment. She had her hands inside of a man’s thorax earlier – giving him a new heart, saving his life – and yet, watching Alex help this girl, which earns her a smile and a “Thanks, Ms. Danvers!”, it feels more important than anything she has done.

And Alex is smiling when she turns back towards her.  
“Perfect,” she laughs upon her seeing Maggie wearing the martian t-shirt. She tries not to stare at her breasts underneath and focuses on her eyes, now even appearing darker.

“You ready for your first St. Jonnz's hockey game?”  
Maggie feels it happening and she allows it to. She smiles.

“Can anyone ever really be ready for this?” She asks.  
Inside the gym, Maggie thinks she’s been to NHL games that have a lower volume level. The band is playing, the cheers are deafening and the cheerleaders shout to be heard. Maggie follows Alex through the packed bleachers, around the ice rink. A middle-aged woman has been saving her seats and Alex thanks her as they sit down, Maggie rolling her jacket and white blouse into a ball and putting them at her feet.

Jamie is #20 and is skating on the ice and Alex winces slightly as she gets checked into the boards by another player from the opposing team, a prep school from the West Side. Maggie and Alex are sitting so close together in the crowded stands, her thigh is pressed to hers and even through a layer of blue-jeans, Maggie feels her skin burning. She tries to ignore it.  
The game has a mere eight minutes left and St. Jonnz's is leading but not by much. A lot can happen in eight minutes.

Alex is clapping and cheering herself hoarse and Maggie finds herself getting swept up in the excitement surrounding her. She watches Jamie. She's only thirteen but it’s as if everyone knows that she’s going to be going onto much bigger games. There’s high school and then college scholarships and then after that, who knows?  

She’s only thirteen and she’s incredible. When she effortlessly scores a goal against the opposite team, the gym is on its feet, Maggie included, cheering and screaming. She bursts into applause and put her fingers in her mouth, letting out a whistle,and then she laughs as Alex holds up her hand and she gives her a high-five.

She's laughing and smiling and for the final sixty seconds of the game, she’s on her feet, the cheers steadily growing to become thunderous roars as St. Jonnz's claims their victory, remaining undefeated so far that season.  
Maggie turns her head and looks at Alex and she turns her head and smiles at her. She can’t remember the last time she had this good of a time – on a Friday night or any night. And she knows, deep down, that it’s all because of Alex.

She feels herself smiling back at her.

She wishes the eight minutes have lasted longer.

  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Kara and Lucy have their usual Sunday morning three-way call, Kara and Lena share some fluffy moments and... Maggie and Alex have their first date-not-date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New week, back to the hectic and kind of crazy life. Hope you all are doing great and enjoy this new chapter :)
> 
> And... May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short lol (mine has just ended!!!)
> 
> Thank you for the support you're showing towards me and this story, it means a lot!

Lena remains dead to the world, not even stirring, as the phone begins to ring and Kara has to reach over her to grab it. It’s early on Sunday morning – early for them on the west coast anyway – and she’s sleeping deeply on her stomach, hugging the pillow to her cheek. With the portable phone, Kara flips over onto her back and rests her head on Lena’s back, answering the call.

“Stupid fucking piece of shit,” Lucy Lane-Olsen is swearing into the phone and Kara begins laughing. No one would guess it but Lucy has the worst language and it is endlessly amusing to Kara.    
Lucy was born in Metropolis but when she was five years old, she moved to Midvale, just in the same neighborhood of the Danvers family. She has been Alex's best friend since then. Even though she has an older sister, Lois, she never really gets along with her. Instead she's very close to the Danvers girls and both Alex and Kara consider her as part of their family. 

“You talk like that around your daughter?” Kara teases.

“Ugh, I hate this phone!” Lucy growls. “And Laura’s in the kitchen with James. He’s trying to show her that oatmeal is the most amazing food ever but she’s just not having it. Alex? Is she on? I hate this phone!” She exclaims.

“Oh, God, calm down,” Alex suddenly says. “I’m right here. What’s wrong with your phone?” She asks.

“It sounds like Kara is in a tunnel and you’re underwater. Are you two either of those things? Damn it!” Lucy snaps, fiddling with it again.

And Kara and Alex don’t mean to but they begin to laugh at Lucy.

“Kara, is Lucy all moved in?” Alex asks.

Kara can’t help but beam. She adjusts her head on her back. “We finished yesterday. We ordered pizza and potstickers and drunk too much and Lena’s underwear is now officially mixed with mine,” she says.

“And so far so good?” Laura inquires.  

“Yep,” Kara smiles. 

“I’m so happy for you, Kara,” Alex smiles. She’s standing in her open-plan, bright apartment, still in her shorts and tank top she slept in and she’s at her kitchen island spreading butter and strawberry jam on her toasts. Gertrude is standing by her food bowl, crunching contently on her kibble. It’s the first morning that she’s woken up to a coldness in her apartment and with that, she closes the window and turns on her electric fireplace. The East Coast fall has officially begun. 

“And is living together sex just as good as moving in sex?” Lucy asks, only half-teasing.

“Last night, we had sex against the sliding glass door to the balcony. My back is bruised but it was amazing and definitely worth it,” Kara laughs. “And it actually just occurred to me that it’s entirely made of glass. Do you think someone saw us from the street?”

“Oh, we all know you would love it if they did,” Lucy grins. “James and I got caught once,” she then reveals.

“Where?” Kara and Alex both ask at the same time.

“In our car in a restaurant parking lot,” she begins to laugh. “It was right after I got home from Iraq. We went out to celebrate and well… I just so happened to be wearing a skirt that night.”

Raised in a family with a long military tradition, Lucy attended the United States Military Academy at West Point, where she earned a Bachelor of Science degree and a commission in the United States Army as a 2nd lieutenant. After that, she attended Harvard University, where she completed a JD/MBA. After some missions abroad and holding the rank of Major, she left the army in order to have a quieter life. Now, she lives in Central City with her family and is working as general counsel at S.T.A.R. Labs, a research and development company.

“Slut,” Kara laughs.

“Anyway,” Lucy’s smiling so widely now, she’s almost laughing. “James had just parked the car and his fingers brushed along my thigh and that was it. I fucked him right there.”

“Can we change the subject?” Alex requests with a sigh.

“Alex, you live in a city with  _ millions _ of women. Go out and get one and have sex with her!” Lucy practically orders.

“You know I can’t do that,” Alex shakes her head and then taking her tray with her toast and a cup of black tea, she goes into the area of her apartment designed as her living room.

She sits down on the couch and turns on the television, immediately muting it. Lucy is always telling her to go out and have a one-night stand with a woman, not believing that Alex has never had one. But Alex has never even felt comfortable with that. Sex has always been too important to her. When she is with someone like that, she wants it to mean something. Every time she had had sex in the past, it had been with a woman she had been dating. She can’t go out and just meet some random woman.

“Well, are there any prospects?” Kara asks.

Immediately, Alex sees Maggie Sawyer in her mind, wearing a St. Jonnz’s t-shirt and smiling at her as they cheer together during the hockey game. She had so much fun and she had been so relieved when Maggie had showed up. The more time she spends with her, she only wants more. Maggie makes her feel warm and her insides somehow seem to knot and flutter simultaneously whenever she looks at her or smiles at her or brushes against her on accident. She blushes at the thought but she wonders what having sex with Maggie would be like. She’s a woman who works with her hands every day and she’s so gorgeous with an equally incredible body. She imagines that she’s amazing. Alex personally has never had any complaints about her own sexual skills from any of her partners but she wonders how she would be if she and Maggie ever were together in that particular capacity. She doesn’t have casual sex and she wonders if Maggie Sawyer does. She wonders if she’s interested in relationships and love and being with someone longer than just for one night. There’s so much she doesn’t know about her.

“Danvers, you are way too quiet,” Lucy laughs.

“Who is she?” Kara pounces.

“No one. She’s no one.”

“But there is a she,” Lucy picks up on. “What’s her name?”

Alex nearly sighs. She sometimes hates how close she is with them and how well they know her. “Maggie. Her name is Maggie. We hung out together Friday night and… and she’s wonderful.”

“What does she do?” Kara asks.

“What’s she like?” Lucy asks at the same time.

“She's a cardiothoracic surgeon and she’s very interesting and… so damn good looking,” Alex confesses and Kara and Lucy grin. “ She's gorgeous and so smart. I swear. We take walks together and sometimes, I just want her to pull me into an alley, shove my pants down and have her dirty, hot way with me.”

“ _ Whoa _ ,” Kara says.

“This is serious,” Lucy agrees. “A good hard pounding is just what you need.”

“Lucy,” Alex instantly blushes. “Stop, you two. Nothing is going to happen.”

“Why the hell not?” Lucy frowns.

“It’s…” Alex scratches her forehead and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “There’s something… distant about her. When we’re together, I’m usually doing all of the talking. Even when I ask her questions. She just doesn’t seem that eager to open up and share anything about herself with me.”

“Maybe she’s a hitwoman,” Lucy immediately decides.

“Or a spy,” Kara adds.

“Or maybe she’s just not interested,” Alex sighs. She can hear a sudden vibration from her bedroom and she knows that it’s her cell phone. She gets up from the couch and crosses the  living room to climb up the stairs that lead into her bedroom. When she sees that it’s Maggie calling, her heart leaps into her throat. “Oh my god, Maggie’s calling.  _ It’s Maggie _ ! She's calling me right now! I have to answer this!”

“Go!” Kara and Lucy exclaim at the same time.

“Bye!” Alex practically shouts and then ending the call on her portable phone, she tosses it onto her bed as she snatches up her cell phone. “Hello?” She answers quickly, her heart pounding as if she’s just run a marathon.

“Uh… hey,” Maggie’s voice fills her ear and she closes her eyes. “Is this a bad time? I didn’t wake you, did I?” 

“No, no, not at all. I’ve been up for hours,” Alex assures her, sitting down on the bed but deciding that she’s too antsy, she almost immediately stands up again. “My sister Kara, Lucy and I have a three-way call every Sunday morning. I was just talking with them.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt-”

“You didn’t,” Alex cuts her off. “They just go on and on about their sex lives anyway.” She blushes. Why did she have to bring up sex?

“Are you doing anything today? I’m off from the hospital and I was wondering if you would want to go for a walk and maybe get lunch somewhere,” Maggie says.

“I’d love to,” Alex answers immediately, not caring if she sounds overeager. The idea of spending the day with Maggie Sawyer excites her – in more ways than one – and her stomach twists as she turns to her closet. What is she going to wear? 

“When and where do you want to meet?” She asks her.

“I can meet you at your place if you want. We can walk around Midtown today. Where do you live?” She asks.

Alex quickly looks around her apartment. It’s a bit cluttered at the moment. She’ll have to clean quickly. “8 th Avenue,” she quickly gives her the rest of her address. “Can you give me an hour?”

She can hear Maggie smiling from over the phone and Alex smiles in response. She loves that she smiles. She remembers the first time she met her and how hard she seemed to be fighting against any sort of movement of her lips turning upwards. She feels some sense of privilege that Maggie chooses her to smile around. Or maybe she’s reading too much into it. Maybe she smiles all of the time – not just around her. Well, that thought does nothing to ease the nerves in her stomach. She nearly sighs but stops herself. She’s about to spend the day with Maggie Sawyer. This is a very good day already and it’s only ten o’clock. 

“I’ll see you in an hour,” Maggie agrees.

“I can’t wait,” Alex can’t help but tell her, blushing and her stomach fluttering.

She's quiet for a moment, so quiet Alex almost thinks she’s hung up, but then, she hears her breathe into the phone. “Me neither,” Maggie says and Alex has to bite down on her lip to keep from squealing but that doesn’t stop her from bouncing up and down right there in the middle of her bedroom.

In National City, after another half hour of talking and laughing with Lucy, Kara hangs up the phone, leaning over Lena, who’s still sleeping, to return it to its cradle. She then turns her head and begins pressing soft kisses to her bare back. She shifts, mumbling something, and Kara smiles against her shoulder blade.

“Damn it, Kara. Aren’t you tired?” Lena grumbles.

Kara laughs softly and then sweeps her lips up and kisses her ear. “Please,” she whispers, her hand sliding down her back and touching her bare ass underneath the bed sheet and her body flexes in response. She smiles. “Please?”

“You’d kill me if I woke you up for sex,” Lena finally opens an eye to look at her.

“I owe you one,” Kara smiles and gives her a wink.

Lena can’t resist and smiles. Kara sits up as she rolls over onto her back, moaning dramatically as she does so. Kara immediately pushes the bed sheet down, exposing her naked body to her. She licks her lips and Lena grins, patting her thighs.

“You’re going to do the work this morning, love,” she says and Kara’s already straddling her. She braces her hands on her shoulders and leans down to kiss her. 

Lena smiles against her lips when she feels her fingertips touch her between her thighs. “You and Lucy are sex addicts. Is that all you talk about?” Lena asks against her own lips.

“I thought you were always sleeping during our Sunday calls,” Kara says.

Lena shrugs. “It’s hard to sleep when you’re next to me, talking about all of the incredible things I do to you.”

Kara laughs and sits up. Lena looks up at her and she smiles faintly. She loves the way Lena looks at her – like she’s beautiful and she’s someone special. And she doesn’t mean to but she wonders, for a fleeting moment, if Monel had ever looked at her like that during their brief affair. He must not have if he had chosen Imra over her without seeming to take a minute to think about it. But Lena, she looks at her like she just really loves her.  

* * *

Alex wants to appear casual but she wants to look cute and she’s happy with her outfit when she buzzes Maggie into the building and then opens her apartment door to reveal her in dark jeans, a blue shirt and a black leather jacket. She looks amazing and casual and Alex feels that heat rush through her body that’s becoming all too familiar now when she’s around her. She’s wearing skinny jeans, tan ankle boots and a dark gray sweater. She smiles widely and steps aside so Maggie can enter the apartment and she sees her eyes instantly looking around. Gertrude trots up eagerly to greet her and Maggie smiles, crouching down to rub Gertrude behind her ears and rub a hand down her back.

“It’s small,” she feels the need to say.

But Maggie shakes her head, looking around. “It’s great.” She takes a step further in. “Give me the tour,” she then requests, smiling at her. Alex wonders if a woman has ever been capable of refusing her when she uses that smile.

She laughs a little. “Okay. That should take five seconds. Also because the are no walls here. This is the living room and the kitchen, and up the stairs there’s my bedroom.”

The apartment has large windows that she loves that offers a great view of the surrounding skyscrapers of the city and pours in natural light that makes it seem warm and cozy. The whole open plan apartment is decorated in shades of gray, silver and blue. The floors are hardwood and they are covered in a few places with comfy rugs. She has a dark gray L-shaped couch and a light blue armchair in front of a messy coffee table. Across from it there is a modern fireplace, while hanging on the walls there are bookshelves and pictures of her family as well as a few black and white photographs of National City.

“I like these,” Maggie says, looking at one of the skyline.

“James took all of these. He’s Lucy's husband. He’s a great photographer and a reporter,” Alex says, watching her as Maggie walks around her living room.

Three steps lead into her bedroom, almost entirely occupied by a huge king size bed. It is neatly made and Alex made sure before Maggie arrived that there weren’t any clothes or lingerie lying about on the floor.

A door to the left of the living room leads into her bathroom with all original fixtures including a bear-claw bathtub that Alex loves. Even though it's quite different from her usual style, it doesn't clash with the rest of the apartment.

Maggie circles the entire circumference of the living area, peeking her head into the bedroom, and then she comes and sits down on the couch, settling back. She then looks at her, still standing near the now closed front door. “I really like your place,” she says and Alex doesn’t know why but she’s relieved to hear that.

She smiles. “Thank you.”

Maggie sits there for a moment, staring at her, and then she stands up again. “So what did you want to do today? It’s great outside. Cold but sunny.”

Alex goes to collect her jacket, slipping it on and then. “We can just walk. Stop when we see something we want to do or eat.”

“Sounds good.”

Maggie sees Gertrude’s leash on the small drawer next to the front door and she takes it upon herself to hook it to the dog’s collar. After making sure that Alex has her wallet, her phone and her keys, they leave the apartment, Alex locking the door behind them. She lives on the seventh floor and they go to the elevator at the end of the hallway, Maggie pushing the down button. They stand next to one another in silence and Alex tries to think of something to see as she feels Maggie looking at her. She bites down on her bottom lip. Her heart is pounding in her chest and she wants to kiss her. Does she think about kissing her?

“I haven’t been to the pier in forever,” Alex blurts out and she doesn’t know why.

“Me, neither,” Maggie shakes her head. “It's not very far, we can go there.”

The doors of the elevator slide open and they step into the small box, Maggie punching the button for the ground floor. 

“So how has your weekend been so far?” Alex asks her. “Oh, wait. Your weekend begins today. How was work yesterday?”  

“Good,” Maggie nods. “Busy. It always is.”

She likes when the hospital is busy. She prefers it. If it’s busy then the clock isn’t dragging and it doesn’t feel as if she’s stuck there. Maggie still loves being a doctor. Being in surgery with a scalpel in her hand, few things in life top that feeling. But now, for the first time, working at the hospital feels very much like a job. She knows it’s better than just sitting at home by herself and thinking and wallowing but some days, she prefers doing that. 

Today though, the first thought she had when she woke up was wondering what Alex had planned. And now here she is, going to the pier with her and her German Shepherd.

Maggie looks at her now. She doubts Alex ever feels like sitting at home and staring at the walls when she could be teaching. Alex loves being a teacher and spending the days with her students. She’ll probably never let that fire to burn out of her.

At that thought, Maggie grins and Alex smiles and when they reach the ground floor, she holds her arm against one side of the doors so she and Gertrude can exit first and then Maggie follows after them. The street is busy and Alex feels her hand brush along the small of her back as they weave through the people until they turn a corner and the sidewalk is less populated. Maggie still walks close to her and she smiles, hoping her cheeks aren’t as red as they feel.

“And how has your weekend been?” Maggie asks her. She already likes her life a hell of a lot more than she’s probably ever liked hers.

“Yesterday, I only left my apartment to walk Gertrude,” Alex answers. “I was grading seventh grade science reports all day and watching a marathon of  _ Game of Thrones _ .”

“That sounds like a perfect way to spend a Saturday,” Maggie says truthfully. “And how did everyone do on their science reports?”

Alex takes a deep breath. “There’s this boy in my class and he’s so smart and it just breaks my heart that he does something truly amazing with his report and the other students call him names because of it. Winn, do you remember him?”

Maggie nods, “I heard you two in the coffee shop that morning and he was explaining his project to you. It sounded really interesting.”

“It was. He studied all of the ponds in the Centennial Park. I mean, you could have done this project in  _ college _ and here he is, twelve-years-old. That’s extraordinary to me. And these kids… they call him Frog Freak. It just makes me sad sometimes.”

“Kids are kids,” Maggie shrugs and she feels like an idiot because she can’t think of anything better to say than that. “You’re teaching a hard age like you said.”

“I know,” she sighs. “It just makes me sad.” She looks up at her and she stops walking so Maggie does, too. 

“Here…” Alex’s hand lifts to her face and Maggie stands still as her fingers brush at her cheek underneath her eye. “You have an eyelash.” Her faint smile returns. “You need to blow on it and make a wish.”

“Why?”

Alex shrugs. “I don’t know,” her smile is a bit wider now. “It’s just what you do.”

“Is there a book on proper eyelash protocol?” Maggie teases. She wonders if she’ll ever get used to the amazement she feels when she finds herself able to tease and joke with her. Just two weeks ago, she didn’t even know her and now, here they are and she’s the only woman who can get her to smile. 

“Oh, shut up and make a wish,” Alex rolls her eyes. Her finger with the eyelash is held up in front of her face and Maggie blows it away. “Did you make a wish?” Alex asks her.

“Of course I did,” Maggie nods automatically.

“No, you didn’t,” she shakes her head, laughing, and Maggie grins this time.

They begin walking again and Maggie feels her knuckles brush against hers. She doesn’t question the tingle this time. She slowly slips her hand around Alex’s and her fingers interlock with hers. It’s all done subtlety and Maggie wonders if she minds holding her hand. She thinks of Friday night and how Alex held her hand lightly, pulling her down the hallway and into the gym. She didn’t seem to mind then. Maggie hopes she doesn’t mind now. She looks at her from the corner of her eye and she sees that she’s smiling faintly. She holds her hand just a little tighter. It feels nice. Her skin is soft and a bit cool to the touch and Emily never let her hold her hand when they walked somewhere.

“We can take my Triumph next time,” Maggie hears herself saying. It seems that she doesn't have any filter around Alex and just says the first thing that pops into her mind.

Alex actually beams, staring at her. 

“Definitely,” she smirks. “But you better know I don't ride bitch.”

Maggie widens her eyes, surprised. She hasn't expected that the sweet and caring Ms. Danvers would ride a motorcycle.

“I have a Ducati,” she just shrugs and Maggie smiles, “Fancy.”

They keep walking in silence until they decide on a small oriental restaurant with an outdoor patio, just on the pier, so Gertrude can be with them for lunch and there is a mixture of all sorts of Asian seafood on the menu. Alex lifts her chair and then puts one of the legs of it through the handle of Gertrude’s leash before she sits down. She crosses her legs underneath the table, her foot resting against Maggie’s leg but she doesn’t mind and Alex doesn’t make a move to shift it away.

It’s almost too cool to eat outside but the sun feels warm on their skin and the patio has other patrons at other tables eating out as well. They both order water, Maggie then decides on the salty-sweet salmon with ginger and spicy cucumber salad while Alex gets the lemongrass rice noodles fish soup and a side of water chestnuts.

“Do you want to hear something strange?” She asks as their waiter leaves the table.

“Definitely,” Maggie nods, already smiling.

“Whenever we went to Chinese restaurants growing up, my dad used to order a side plate of water chestnuts just for me,” Alex says. “I loved the crunch sound they made when I speared them with my fork and I would always be eating everyone’s from their plates until my dad just started ordering my own.”

Maggie grins and wants to ask more about her dad. But then she fears Alex will asks something about her family too and she doesn’t want to talk about that at all.

“So is it your favorite food?” She asks, instead.

“I have many favorite foods. I love to eat. But I  _ can’t  _ cook.” 

Maggie smirks.  

“Do you have a favorite food?” Alex asks her, smiling.

The question actually makes her think for a moment. It seems like such a simple question but this is important. Alex’s actually curious. Maggie can tell. She’s not asking to ask or to fill the silence with mindless chatter. She truly wants to know things about her. She wants to know  _ her _ . And Maggie wants to give her an honest answer.

“I can cook. Emily hated to cook but there was one dish she made that I absolutely loved-” she cut herself off before she could finish. She just said her name out loud. To Alex.

Alex’s smile fades slowly as if she understands the severity of this. “Who’s Emily?” She asks quietly, curiously, looking into her eyes from across the table.

“Uhm,” Maggie clears her throat and her fingers begin to run along a crack in the wooden table. “She’s…” How to explain her. “She’s my ex. The only real ex I have. She’s gone though. She moved away.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex says and again, it’s genuine and she’s not saying it just to say it.

Maggie exhales a heavy breath. “I’m trying to forget it. I’m realizing… the bad times far outweighed the good.”

“Still, it’s never easy. Did you love her?” Alex asks with a lump in her throat. This explains so much about Maggie. Her distance, her hesitancy to smile or show that she’s having a good time, the sadness in her eyes that she knows now she hadn’t been imagining.

“Yeah,” she answers, almost reluctantly. She can’t look at her right now and she’s not sure why. “I never loved anyone before her.”

Alex isn’t sure why but she has to look away. There’s a stinging in her eyes she can’t explain and she looks down to Gertrude, who is sprawled out underneath her chair. She scratches her head, silence falling heavily over the table. She doesn’t know why she’s upset. She and Maggie… she doesn’t even know what to call them. Friends, perhaps. But she definitely has no obligation to her and she’s had an entire life before her. Just like Alex has had a life before her. It hurts nonetheless and she wishes it wouldn’t. She likes Maggie – a lot – and hearing her grieving for a past relationship, the image of them kissing or having dirty sex in an alleyway somewhere seemed even more impossible now than it had before.

Emily. Alex thinks she is probably gorgeous.

The waiter arrives back with their orders, placing steaming plates of food down in front of them and Gertrude immediately gets up, sitting in her begging pose, staring up at her. Alex picks up her fork and immediately spears a water chestnut, listening to the familiar crunch and suddenly she hears a soft snicker. Lifting her head, she sees a small smile pulling at the corner of Maggie’s mouth and the fact that she’s smiling again, Alex smiles, too. The heavy silence is gone and she’s relaxed once again. She seems to be, too.

“Here,” Alex extends her fork and it feels perfectly natural for some reason for her to offer her one of her water chestnuts.

And Maggie doesn’t hesitate in parting her lips and letting her feed her the water chestnut from her fork. She stares at her as she chews and the twinkle has returned to her eyes. She never wants to speak with her about Emily. For the first time in months, Emily isn’t always in the forefront of her mind and that’s only when she’s around Alex. Being around her is becoming addicting. Maggie enjoys being around her and the headache that she seems to be constantly suffering from isn’t even noticed by her – not when Alex is talking and smiling and she’s smiling back.

Emily has already taken so much from her. Maggie is not going to let her have this, too.

“What’s your favorite food?” Alex asks her again. She smiles as Maggie takes a few pieces of her salmon and slides it from her fork onto her plate.

“Pizza,” Maggie answers and tosses Gertrude a piece of salmon as well. The puppy almost catches it but it falls to the ground and she gobbles it up.

“Pizza?” Alex dumps a few water chestnuts onto Maggie’s plate. It’s a dance – one they seem to know without rehearsal. “But that’s so boring.”

“There are hundreds of combinations and varieties. How is that boring?” Maggie wonders. She eats one of the water chestnuts. “Don’t you like pizza?” 

“Of course I do but have you ever met a person who doesn’t?” Alex questions. Maggie smirks, shaking her head, and she looks at her. Alex smiles and shrugs. “Are you sure you don’t want to come and talk to my classes?” She asks, suddenly changing the subject.

“You just called me boring,” Maggie points out. “Are you sure  _ you _ want me to come?” She then answers back, smirking.

Alex’s cheeks immediately blush because there is no doubt that has been a sexual innuendo. She takes a big sip of water from her glass and then clarifies, “I called  _ your favorite food  _ boring. That’s not a  _ direct _ reflection of you.”

The grin on Maggie’s face comes easy now.


	7. Announcement

Hi guys.

I’m sorry but this update is not a new chapter but rather a kind of explanation for my sudden disappearance.

I’m not very well and during the last week I’ve been busy, carrying out some verifications and exams to find out the cause of my illness. I’m not feeling well and I tried to edit the next chapters for this story but I’m tired and weak.

Both this story and all of you mean a lot to me, and I’m really grateful for your support. Your kind words as well as your constructive criticism helped me in being a better writer (hopefully) and a better person. This community is positive and full of beautiful people.

Thank you.

I want you to know that I’m not giving up this story, and never will.

I really hope I’ll be fine soon and I’ll be able to update this story within a few days. 

Stay tuned  ❤


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After losing two patients, Maggie breaks down. She goes to Alex and finally opens up to her.  
> Angst and a little bit of fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you, I’m finally back. I really can’t thank you enough for your support and your lovely and caring words. Really, thank you so so so much.♡♡♡  
> I’m finally on the mend after this crazy, crazy month and I promise I’ll catch up soon and reply to your awesome comments. I also need to read and review a lot of great stories!
> 
> This chapter is Maggie-centric and a bit angsty. But there’ll be plenty of Sanvers moments as well. It’s one of my favorite ones, I’m eager to know your opinion about it.
> 
> And, did you watch Chyler’s panels at Clexacon? She’s wonderful and her words about Sanvers were so touching!!! She cares so much ♡  
> Since I’m not an English native speaker, do you know where can I find subtitled (in English) videos of her panels? The audio wasn’t great and I wasn’t able to understand everything. Please, tell me where I can find them!!!
> 
> As always, thank you and enjoy :)

Maggie leans heavily against the wall, bowing her head forward and closing her eyes. It’s been a long, awful day. She has lost two patients. Two. Two she shouldn’t have lost. Two people who came into the hospital, alive, and after seeing her, they’re dead. As a doctor, she’s used to death. As a doctor, she can’t save everyone. She isn’t God despite what some surgeons want others to believe. Maggie’s a good surgeon – a great surgeon actually – but she’s not God. She can’t save everyone, despite her efforts. She tries telling herself over and over again, but her headache is tearing her skull apart and she clenches her eyes shut so tightly, white spots dance in front of her closed lids.

She doesn’t know what to do. She never does anymore. She has already talked to the families, turning away as they break down with their tears and cries of anguish, and now, she just feels completely drained – as if everything inside of her has been ground and mashed up and there’s nothing left resembling a person. The wall behind her is the only thing holding her up and her body is heavy against it. She needs that wall right now not to abandon her or disappear. She’ll fall for sure if she tries to stand up and walk away. Walk away. She’s been trying to do that for the past nine months now.  _ Ten _ . It’s been ten months now. It’s almost Halloween. October is ending. Thanksgiving will be here before she knows it and Thanksgiving is usually spent with Emily and her parents and sisters and their families. That won’t happen this year. She’s not welcome anymore. She wonders if Emily will be going to Boston for Thanksgiving.

She digs the heel of her hands into her eyes, making them hurt. A jackhammer won’t leave her skull alone and it makes her want to scream. She needs a drink. She needs to fuck someone. She needs to get on her Triumph sand drive away until she has no idea where she is. Wherever she winds up, she’ll settle down there. Live in the middle of nowhere where no one knows her or expects anything from her. She can live out the rest of her life in peace and quiet and maybe, one day, she can forget about all of this.

She can still smell the blood. So much fucking blood. She had thought everything had gone well. They had removed the tumor and though Maggie had been hesitant, they had removed the lymph nodes too – the lymph nodes which usually protect the carotid artery. After the surgery, the girl had been smiling in her room. But then she had laughed. And the laughter had put pressure on the now vulnerable artery. And with it came the blood, putting so much pressure on the walls of the artery, it had blown and with it, came all the blood. So much blood. Maggie can almost taste it in her mouth. It’s all her fault.

She has to get out of here. She has to shower and scrub her skin until its raw. She needs to go outside and breathe in gulps of dirty city air, desperate for the scent of blood that has permeated her nostrils to fade. She can’t be here anymore. She has to leave the hospital. Forever? She doesn’t even know anymore. First the replacement of the heart valve for the man that even the not most skilled of cardiac surgeons could have saved – Maggie tries to tell herself this anyway – and then the girl. Just a twenty-year-old kid who had smiled before the blood exploded. She had had dark hair – just like Alex.

Alex. Maggie doesn’t think about why her mind immediately goes to her. She forces herself to open her eyes and she looks down at the watch on her wrist. It takes her a minute to focus on the numbers and the hands and she sees that it’s almost four o’clock. Alex will still be at school and if she’s not, Maggie can go see her. She knows where she lives. Would it be alright if she just randomly showed up at her building and hit the buzzer with her name?

Maggie doesn’t remember changing. Doesn’t remember leaving. Doesn’t remember walking down the five blocks towards St. Jonnz’s. But suddenly, she’s in the front office, speaking with a woman with black hair piled on top of her hair in a tight bun that makes it look like an eraser on top of a skinny pencil and she’s handing her a visitor’s pass. She stares down at the plastic laminate badge and she vaguely hears the woman say that Dr. Danvers classroom is on the second floor, room 202. She doesn’t remember if she thanks her or not. She doubts she does. She finds the stairs and slowly makes her way upwards. It’s quiet. School’s out for the day and any hardly students are lingering about. It smells like chalk and dust and books and a million different scents hanging in the air from the hundreds of students that walk these halls every single day.

The long hallway stretches before her but there’s a sign on the wall with an arrow pointing to the right for classrooms 200 through 210. Maggie runs her hand along the walk as she takes the turn and walks towards the second open door on the right-hand side. The lights are still on and she stops in the threshold, pausing for the first time since she left the hospital. She looks down at what he’s wearing. Jeans and a flannel. No jacket. Where’s her jacket? It’s cold outside but she doesn’t remember feeling it as she walked here.

Maggie looks into the classroom. Wooden floors that shine under the afternoon sun pouring through the wide windows. A mobile of the solar system – the planets and the large sun – hang from the ceiling on strings, twisting in an invisible breeze. The walls are covered with posters – charts of the human body and the solar system and different weathers. A chart breaking down a molecule. The periodic table. There are a couple of bulletin boards displaying different posters made by students who have presented experiments to the class. Black lab tables are lined up in perfect rows and stepping into the class, Maggie sees Alex sitting at her large desk in the back of the classroom next to one of the windows. The sunlight surrounds her, and she looks beautiful. Beautiful and not covered in blood.

Maggie’s throat feels dry – too dry as if she’s swallowed all the dust in the air – and she coughs, startling Alex. She lifts her head from typing on her computer and she smiles the instant she sees Maggie standing there – a beam of white teeth and crinkled eyes.

“Maggie,” she pushes her chair back and stands up. “What are you doing here?” 

She sounds so happy, she looks too happy to see her there and Maggie feels herself taking a step back. She shouldn’t have come here. No one’s ever happy to see her. She doesn’t deserve it. If she knew the truth about her, Maggie knows Alex would never smile at her again. Why would she? Maggie fucks too many women, she had cheated her perfect girlfriend, she killed a girl today. She doesn’t deserve Alex’s smile.

“Maggie?” Her smile is fading now, and she walks up to her slowly, as if she’s an animal who’s escaped from captivity and Alex is not sure how she’ll react to human contact.

“Hey,” her touch is soft on her arm.

Maggie stares at her. She’s beautiful. Her hair is worn down, curling softly, but the front locks are pinned back from her face. She’s wearing a black dress that ends just above her knees. Dark ankle boots are on her feet. Maggie’s eyes can’t leave hers and Alex opens her mouth, her pale pink lips parting. She says something, but Maggie can’t hear her. She takes a step back towards her. Her freckles… Maggie reaches out and touches her nose with two of her fingers. Alex is quiet now, staring at her as well, questions in her eyes Maggie doesn’t want her to ask and she doesn’t want to answer.

“You’re warm,” Maggie whispers instead. “So warm.”

“Maggie…” Alex says her name again as her fingertips linger on her nose. “Come with me.”

She doesn’t ask where. Alex takes hold of one of her hands, trapping it between both of hers, and she slowly walks backwards, never turning away from her, bringing her with her. They’re at her desk. Maggie stares down at it. It’s covered in papers and folders and there’s a grade book open with her pencil abandoned on top of it. There are a couple of picture frames and a laptop and there is a paperweight shaped like the earth. Maggie picks it up and looks at it. It’s blown glass and fragile – probably too expensive to just be sitting here on a desk where a kid can knock into it. She wonders who gave it to her. 

“Sit,” Alex says softly and gently guides her into a chair next to her desk.

Maggie does, still holding onto the earth paperweight. She clutches it, not wanting to break it. Alex sits down in her chair again and Maggie’s eyes are drawn to her bare knee as she crosses her legs, the dress riding up just a fraction. Her skin is so pale and smooth, and she wants to kiss her knee. These thoughts, Maggie doesn’t know where they’re coming from. She’s there but she’s not. She can still smell blood, can still taste the bitter tang of it on her tongue. She leans in suddenly and Alex gasps as she presses her face to the side of her throat. She smells sweet and Maggie inhales deeply. No blood.

“Maggie,” Alex says again and her hands come to her shoulders. Maggie doesn’t move though and she clenches her eyes shut again. Alex cup her cheeks with her hands she gently pulls Maggie’s head back. 

When she eventually opens her eyes, Maggie falls into hers as Alex looks at her. 

“Maggie, what is it?” She asks her in a whisper, her thumb brushing along her cheek and it’s so sweet and gentle and her voice reveals such concern for her, Maggie’s entire body begins to ache.

She can’t remember the last time was but sitting there, her eyes staring into Alex’s, her hands on her face, she feels moisture on her cheeks and she realizes that it’s her. She’s crying. And Alex wraps her arms around her, hugging her tightly, not letting her go.

Every person in her life has never had any trouble letting go, turning and walking away from her without a second thought. Her own parents. Emily. She has never been anything to anyone. But right now, Alex is hugging her and murmuring soft words into her ear and Maggie cries. Alex doesn’t make her feel like she’s a burden or a waste and she doesn’t get the feeling that Alex wishes she was anywhere else in the world than there with her, comforting her. Maggie tells herself  to not get used to this. Alex may do this now but she won’t always. No one seems willing to put up with her for long periods of time. Maggie is setting herself up for more disappointment. She has been numb to it for so long but first Emily and now Alex. 

It’s strange but Maggie already can’t stand the thought of Alex walking away from her, too. And that thought terrifies her. When did she get attached to her? She wasn’t supposed to. None of this was supposed to happen. She has to stop it.  _ She’s  _ the one that has to pull away and walk out because if she doesn’t, it will get too hard to do later and she bets she’ll be the one to get hurt – again. Despite what everyone in her life thinks, Maggie is capable of being hurt.

“It’s okay, Maggie,” Alex murmurs softly in her ear, her fingers slowly trailing through her long and wavy dark locks.. “It’s okay, Maggie. I’m right here.”

Maggie doesn’t know if that helps or not. All she knows is her words make her cry harder. 

* * *

 

When Maggie opens her eyes again, she has no idea where she is. She blinks up at the ceiling. It’s not the ceiling of her apartment and the softness underneath her isn’t her mattress. She doesn’t feel a rise of panic though. Her entire body is drained and though she has a feeling that she’s been asleep for a few hours, she still feels exhausted. She’s on a dark gray couch with an overabundance of different color throw pillows and there’s a heavy blue fleece blanket pulled over her. She turns her head and sees that the fireplace is lit up. She watches it for a moment, trying to get her eyes to focus. It’s dark outside and there are a couple of lamps on, creating a warm, soft glow. She’s in Alex’s apartment. She doesn’t remember leaving the school and coming here with her but that’s where she is. She takes another minute and then she forces herself to sit up.

“Hi,” Alex is sitting at the dinner table in the corner, a stack of quizzes in front of her that she’s in the middle of grading, but she’s looking at Maggie now, smiling almost hesitantly. She gets up and crosses the room, sitting down in the light blue armchair. She’s changed and is now wearing a sweatshirt and a pair of yoga pants. “I ordered us pizza for dinner,” Alex then says with a small smile. “It should be here within a half hour.”

“I’m not really hungry,” Maggie shakes her head but she regrets it. It’s as if she’s spent all the afternoon at a drinking bender. Her splitting headache has returned. 

“I had a feeling you would say that,” Alex shrugs. “You’re going to eat anyway. And…” she stands up and Maggie watches her as she walks past and disappears into the kitchen.

Maggie pushes the blanket away. She’s still in her jeans and flannel but she’s taken her boots off. Slowly, she stands up. She expects the room to spin but everything is firm and still around her. Gertrude comes trotting out of the kitchen, licking her chops, and her tail wags when she sees Maggie awake. She trots into the bedroom and then comes back out with a stuffed yellow duck in her mouth. When she bites down, it squeaks and she drops it down at Maggie’s feet, her tail still wagging, wanting to play.

“Not right now, Gertie,” Alex says gently, coming from the kitchen, a mug between her hands. “Here, drink this,” she advises, passing the mug into Maggie’s hands. It’s almost too hot and steam swirls from it. “It’s tea. It will make you feel better.”

“I hate tea,” Maggie frowns. 

“Drink it anyway,” Alex says and Maggie wonders if this is the “ _ not taking crap from anyone Ms. Danvers _ ” that Jamie had mentioned. She brings the mug to her lips and takes a hesitant sip. She almost instantly cringes and pulls it away, holding it out for her to take again. Alex smiles faintly. “It’s orange spice,” she explains as if that makes any sort of difference. 

“I didn’t know you hated me,” Maggie frowns and then gags dramatically.

Alex rolls her eyes and taking the mug, she takes a long sip. Maggie walks past her and goes into the modern kitchen. She doesn’t know where anything is but that doesn’t stop her and she opens up cabinets until she finds glasses. Taking one down, she fills it with water from the tap and chugs until it’s empty. Alex appears behind her and Maggie feels her hand resting lightly on her back as she leans past her and places the empty mug into the sink. Maggie turns her head and she looks at her. Maggie tilts her head up and their eyes meet. The kitchen seems too small and Maggie feels like maybe she’s standing too close, crowding her, but Alex doesn’t take a step back and neither does she. She suddenly has this urge that she hasn’t had in a long time. Ten months to be exact. There is this woman standing in front of her and she actually wants to kiss her. She wants to raise herself on her tiptoes, wrap her arms around her, and kiss her until neither of them can breathe. Would Alex kiss her back? Maggie hopes she would. She wants to feel her soft lips against hers, her warm body crushed to hers. She wants to know what she tastes like. She smells so good. Does she taste like that, too?

There’s a buzzing sound and Alex looks at her, almost apologetically. “The pizza.” 

She leaves the kitchen and Maggie goes to the door with her – just to be safe – and she quickly looks to see how much money she’s spending on the pizza. She’ll be sure to sneak a twenty back into her purse.

“I didn’t know what you liked,” she says, bringing the pizza boxes to the coffee table as Maggie locks the several locks on the door. “ _ Someone _ told me that there are hundreds of combinations and varieties but I just got thin-crust pepperoni. Yours is dairy free. Is that okay?”

“Sounds good,” Maggie nods even though she really doesn’t feel hungry.

Alex gets them napkins and handing those to Maggie, she then gets them two glasses of water. They settle down together on the couch and begin eating slices of pizza while Alex flips through channels on the television. Maggie eats one slice and then another and another and she realizes that her stomach is completely empty and she’s starving. They don’t speak – certainly not about that afternoon – but Maggie waits for Alex to bring it up. She had broken down. The two deaths of her patients that day had pushed her so far past her breaking point, she hadn’t even been able to see it anymore. Emily leaving, the things she had said, the cheating, the headaches and the anvil of guilt she carries with her every day, she hadn’t been able to take anymore. She hadn’t meant to cry or break down – especially in front of anyone.

Maggie looks at her from the corner of her eye. “Thank you,” she says quietly.

Alex turns her head towards her and one of her hands slides across the couch cushion to rest over hers. “You’re welcome,” she says in a matching quiet tone. 

Alex is so different. She just saw her at her most vulnerable and though Maggie wishes that she hadn’t, she doesn’t feel panicked. She saw her cry but Alex isn’t the type to hold it against her. She doesn’t look at her any different now. She saw her cry but looking at her look at her, Maggie sees things in her eyes she’s never seen directed towards her before. Worry and concern and such warmth, she almost has to look away. It’s too strong.

“I met Emily at Harvard. And we started sleeping together. I… I was in love with her for a long time and I would have done anything for her.”

Maggie starts talking and she tells herself  to stop but she can’t. Alex mutes the television and turns on the couch towards her, her attention undivided.

“I felt so lucky to be with her. She was perfect. Gorgeous, brilliant, beautiful. And I was just… I was just Maggie. I’ve never felt as I was enough. Since I was fourteen years old and my parents kicked me out because I was gay, I’ve been struggling to be enough for anyone.”

Alex scoots closer to her, still not making a sound and Maggie can’t believe she has just told her about her family.

“We’ve been together for five years until ten months ago, when I ruined everything. That’s the path of my life and Emily was right. I don’t deserve to be happy… I’m not worth anything. ”

Alex sits on her knees and leaning forward, she wraps her arms around her neck, hugging her.

“I cheated on her. I did a horrible thing and what Emily told me when she left me is true. I’m insensitive and obsessed with work and I’m a sociopath and I’m not enough for anyone. Never have, never will.”

Maggie can’t help but keep talking, she’s not finished yet. She’s going to say it all because she quit seeing her shrink a week after Emily left and she’s been keeping this all in for too long now. And Alex was the first, and only, person she thought of seeing today. That means something. She took care of her when she didn’t have to. She deserves to hear it all.

“And then today, I lost two patients. They died and I… I just couldn’t hold it together anymore. I never fail as a surgeon, but today I did. So I came to see you.”

They look at one another and Alex’s face is so close to hers, their noses almost touch.

“Maggie, you can always come to see me,” she tells her in a whisper. “ _ Always _ .”

“Even after I told you all of that? I’ve made a lost of mistakes, Alex. How could you want  _ anything _ to do with me after what I just said?” She’s almost demanding an answer. She has to know. She has to know what Alex sees because no one else has ever seen it.

“We all makes mistakes,” she says. “And you have been nothing but nice to me since the day I met you.”

“That’s not true,” Maggie argues, shaking her head. She sighs heavily.

“You’ve confused me,” Alex admits. “But now that I know… thank you for telling me. I sense you don’t like to talk about you. You don’t trust people and I totally get that. But Maggie… you don’t have to be guarded with me. Okay? I’m not here to judge you for things that happened in the past, I’m here to help you heal.”

“You don’t think I’m a bad person?”

“Nope, we all make mistakes and I’m the last person who can consider you a bad person.” Alex shakes her head, giving her a soft smile. She almost wants to tell Maggie everything about herself too, but that doesn’t seem the right moment.

“I can leave right now if you want me to. I won’t bother you again,” Maggie says, staring into her eyes and she’s holding her breath because she doesn’t want to go – she realizes that the instant the suggestion of leaving enters her mind. She’s terrified that Alex will agree and she’ll never see her again. How did they get here? Maggie has only known her for a few weeks now. But she’s the first person in ten months that she has spent more than a night with and she doesn’t want that to end. Maggie wants to keep going on walks and eating and listening to her reveal random facts about herself. How did this happen? It feels like it should be  _ too _ soon for another woman to be in her life and yet, it doesn’t feel like that at all in actuality.

“You can’t leave,” Alex shakes her head. Her arms falling away from her neck, and Maggie watches as she turn the television on and opens her Netflix account.

“We have to watch at least  _ one _ episode,” Alex says and Maggie can’t believe it but she almost smiles. After everything, this woman in front of her can make her even  _ think _ of smiling.

The first episode of “ _ Black Mirror _ ” has just started and they look at one another, Alex smiling and Maggie wanting to, and then she puts her pizza box on the coffee table. She doesn’t say a word. She just leans forward and Alex’s eyes widen moments before Maggie has wrapped her up in her arms, hugging her tightly, holding her body to hers. She can’t remember the last time she hugged a person. But here she is, hugging Alex, and when she feels her arms slip around her, hugging her in return, she closes her eyes and she feels like she can finally breathe.

* * *

 

“Race you to the fountain,” Jamie, panting heavily and saving her energy, Maggie merely nods. They take off sprinting, their muscles screaming in protest, but they push ahead. At the very last minute, Jamie pushes herself  and slaps her hand on the fountain’s concrete edge first before collapsing down onto the ground, landing on her back. Maggie braces her hands on her thighs, leaning forward, panting and sweating despite the cold October morning. “That was awesome,” Jamie gasps and Maggie smiles before turning and sinking down heavily onto the fountain’s edge.

“I’m getting too old for this,” Maggie shakes her head.

Jamie grins, pulling herself  up into a sitting position, her long legs stretched out in front of her. “How old are you?” She asks.

“Thirty. I’m ancient,” Maggie rubs a hand through her damp hair.

“You’re not, you’re cool. I see plenty of people checking you out when we run,” Jamie tells her. “And I doubt it’s  _ me _ they’re looking at.”

Maggie smiles. “You’re fine. You’re just thirteen.”

“What did you look like when you were thirteen?” Jamie asks and putting her hands on the ground, she pushes herself  up to her feet.

“I don’t remember. I didn’t have any gray hair though,” Maggie stands up as well, smirking.

“You have no gray hair now, either,”” Jamie rolls her eyes. “I hate I’m so tiny.”

“Hey, you’re still growing up. Besides, you’re beautiful just the way you are.” Maggie assures her. “You may be tall or tiny, and as you see I’m not so tall after all, but it doesn’t matter, Jamie.”

The little girl gives her a smile, nodding. “I know. Look at you, you’re a badass surgeon.”

“I’m not sure your teacher will approve your language, munchkin,” Maggie chuckles, “Want some breakfast?”

“I can’t,” Jamie sighs. “I promised my grandma I’d help her with something before school. There’s some stupid charity dinner I have to go to with her and my grandpa this weekend and I need a new dress, she said. But thanks, Dr. Sawyer. Thanks for running with me.” 

“Anytime. I’ll see you around,” Maggie says, shaking the young girl’s hand.

“Tomorrow?” Jamie asks with hope in her voice that can’t be ignored.

Maggie isn’t sure why a thirteen-year-old kid would want to spend time with her. She doesn’t exactly think she’s a fun person and she’s certainly not a happy, joyful one to be around. But she thinks of Jamie living with her grandparents and her dad somewhere she doesn’t know and her mom dead and there’s just so much there in Jamie’s childhood that reminds Maggie of herself .

“Tomorrow,” Maggie nods. 

“Tell Ms. Danvers I said hey,” Jamie then grins. 

They leave the park together but as Jamie turns right to head back to her apartment building, Maggie takes a left and heads towards the coffee shop, smiling as she sees Gertrude out on the sidewalk as always. She reaches into the pocket of her running shorts and pulls out a Milkbone. Gertrude immediately sits in her begging pose and pants at the sight of it. 

“It might be a bit soggy,” Maggie warns the puppy and then feeds it to her, Gertrude gobbling on it greedily. Maggie rubs the dog on her head before going into the coffee shop.

Alex is sitting at her usual table by the window and there is a boy with black buzzed hair sitting across from her, completely blank faced as Alex speaks with him. Maggie orders her coffee and today, instead of a scone, she gets a banana nut muffin and once she has both, she pays and heads over. She sits down next to Alex at her own table beside hers and sips quietly as Alex talks with one of her students. 

“It’s stupid, Ms. Danvers,” he’s frowning.

“No, it isn’t,” Alex shakes her head. “You just think that because you don’t understand it. Here, let’s go over the questions at the end of the chapter.” The boy sighs heavily and looks as if he wants to be doing anything other than. Alex knows it, too. “Spencer, we’re almost finished with the insects unit and then we’ll be moving onto human anatomy.”

“Why do we have to waste our time anyway, learning about stupid bugs?” He demands, pushing his book away. “What’s the point of knowing about meiosis or whatever the hell you call it? Why do we care about shit like this?”

Maggie glances at Alex. She seems perfectly calm.

“Why do we care about insects?” Alex asks. “Foods, pollination, silk, natural and biological control of nature, aesthetics, genetics,” she ticks off the reasons on her fingers. She glances at Maggie before back at Spencer. “Maggots that come from Blowflies are used occasionally in the field of medicine as are leeches. Maggots can be used to eat dead tissue, thus helping to clean open wounds. About 5,000 laboratory grown microorganism-free maggots get delivered to hospitals across the United States every week.”

Spencer makes a face. “That’s sick.”

“Maybe,” Alex shrugs. “But I’m sure people with open wounds are happy for the help. There are a million things in this world that you don’t understand, Spencer. That doesn’t make them stupid or pointless.”

Spencer stares at her for a moment and then without a word, he slams his science textbook shut and shoving it into her book bag, he stands up and storms from the coffee shop. Alex takes a series of deep breaths and she folds her hands in her lap, so tightly, Maggie notices her knuckles turning white.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” she shakes her head. 

“You sounded pretty damn reasonable to me,” Maggie shrugs. “That kid’s a brat.”

Alex shakes her head again. “That was Spencer Edge. His dad’s Morgan Edge, CEO of Edge Global and a Metropolis Congressman. Now he’ll probably tell him that I practically called him stupid and-”

“Hey,” Maggie turns in her seat, facing her. She covers her hands with one of her own. “Don’t worry about that. You didn’t do anything wrong. That bully should be happy that he has a teacher who wants to actually teach him as much as you do. Fuck him. Don’t let him or his father intimidate you.” 

Alex takes a deep breath and looks at her. “Thank you,” she says softly. “I just… at twelve and thirteen, some of these kids have more money and connections-”

“ _ Don’t _ worry about that,” Maggie says again and her thumb brushes along her knuckles. “Most of those kids know what an amazing teacher you are and the ones who don’t realize it, it’s their loss. I would have loved to have a teacher like you.”

She smiles at that. “You would have been one of those wildly inappropriate students.”

“The  _ most  _ inappropriate,” Maggie grins and Alex laughs. She then leans forward and kisses her softly on the cheek. “Thank you.”

“You helped me,” Maggie reminds her in a quiet voice, staring into her eyes. She looks beautiful as she always does. maggie has seen her in dresses and heels and sweatshirts and jeans. She doesn’t look a thing like Emily and yet Alex Danvers is beautiful. “What are you doing tonight? I have a few consults this morning and afternoon but I should be done with everything by five.”

“I have a tutoring session with some of my students. I should be done by five, too.”

“Perfect,” Maggie rips her muffin in two and takes a bite. “You and Gertrude come by my place. I’ll make you dinner, unlike you I’m a great cook.”

Alex looks at her, almost in disbelief for a moment, and then she blushes faintly and a soft smile curls at her lips. “Really? You’re going to make me dinner?”

“Sure,” Maggie nods. “You didn’t have to take care of me but you did,” she tells her, looking back into her eyes. “I don’t know anyone who would have dealt with me like that.”

“You need better people in your life then,” Alex says and it makes her smile. Maggie leans over and without hesitating or over analyzing it, she kisses her softly on the cheek. Her lips are warm and wet and Alex closes her eyes, blushing and almost shivering. She wishes she would kiss her lips. When Maggie pulls her head back, she’s looking at her intently and Alex falls into her dark eyes, the coffee shop around them falling away. “I would love to have you make me dinner tonight,” she says and Maggie grins, showing her dimples.

“I’m not a picky eater. Anything you make will be wonderful.” Alex can’t stop smiling. “I’ve never had anyone make me dinner before,” she confesses.

Maggie’s smile is genuine, and her hand covers hers again. “ _ You need better people in your life then _ .”

There’s that feeling again. She wants to kiss her. She tortured herself with her cheek and now her need to feel her lips is even greater. But she controls herself  – especially when the door to the coffee shop opens and Alex recognizes one of her other students coming to meet with her before school. Maggie looks at Alex as she smiles at the student. Maybe tonight, she’ll kiss her.

  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Alex and Maggie are eager to have dinner together. But then something happens. Fluff, angst, more fluff. And Jamie keeps being a little snoopy cutie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you,  
> As always thank you so much for supporting both me and this story.  
> This chapter represents a big change in Alex and Maggie's relationship. I really hope you'll like it!

_ “Pasta?” _ The text message comes at one while Alex is sitting at her desk in between classes, eating her lunch: a salad and strawberries. She smiles the instant she reads it and she immediately texts back, letting Maggie know that it sounds delicious.

For the first time in two years, the school day drags by. Alex suspects that she looks at the clock on the wall more than her students. The school year is broken into two semesters: fall semester and spring semester and each semester is made up of three blocks, each six weeks long. They are nearing the middle of the second set of six weeks and that means midterms are upon the students once again. St. Jonnz’s has a fairly rigorous academic schedule – constant testing and projects and presentations in all classes that will prepare them for high school which prepares them for the Ivy League colleges their parents expect them to attend. For the most part, Alex’s students sit in her class and ask questions and show an interest in what she’s teaching. But Alex rarely feels passion from them. Instead, she knows that they are learning simply to get good grades so they can move onto their next level of education.

Normally, she tries not to think about it and with her own enthusiasm for knowledge, she always manages to get most of her students involved and excited about science, too. But today, the classroom feels too warm and the kids are all feeling restless, texting as inconspicuously as possible – Ms. Danvers is known to confiscate phones if she catches them being used in her class – or trying not to fall asleep as Alex stands at the front of the class, going over the study guide she created for the midterm coming up.

All she can think about though is pasta that evening with Maggie. Maggie Sawyer is making her dinner. She’s never had a woman do this for her before and she feels giddy and anxious and she has no idea how she’ll make it until five o’clock without jumping up and down and squealing with excitement. Things are different between them now. In just a few weeks, she feels closer to her than she has felt to any other woman in her life. She has had just two serious relationships in her life (and a tipsy one-night stand with Sara Lance, a Kara’s friend, at their friend Barry Allen’s wedding), a boyfriend in high school, when she still ignored she was gay, and a girlfriend in college but when she’s with Maggie, she feels something she’s never felt before. She can’t even describe it or put a word as to what it is. She just knows it feels amazing.

“Ms. Danvers?” One of the students sitting in the back of the class – Sheldon – raises his hand.

“Yes, Sheldon?” she scolds herself for becoming distracted with thoughts of Maggie and dinner. She still has a class to teach and that’s far more important that her personal life and possible budding love life. Love life? She almost laughs. She hasn’t had one of those in a long time and Maggie doesn’t seem to be in a state of mind to give her one either.

“You can eat bugs, right? Like, if I were on  _ Lost _ , I could eat bugs to survive, right?”

It’s an odd question but she’s used to those – especially from Sheldon Cooper. He is what the kids call “weird”. Alex doesn’t mind though. He keeps her on her toes.

“I would stick with caterpillars. They’re an excellent form of protein,” she smiles at him.

“Awesome!” Sheldon exclaims with wide eyes. He quickly scribbles something down in his notebook. The girl sitting next to him, Penny, makes a face at him. “How can you tell if a bug is edible? Is there a special way?”

“Well, why don’t you tell me?” She challenges. “How about for extra credit, for those who are interested in extra credit-” some of the students perk up at that. “You research about insects and their cuisine around the world. Pick a country – any country you want. Every country has some sort of insect as part of their food. For instance... In Mexico, there are ant eggs or locusts.”

“I don’t want to do this,” Penny wrinkles her nose. “It’s disgusting.”

“It’s extra credit, Penny. Completely optional,” Alex goes to the whiteboard to begin writing down the requirements. “Just one last thing to do before we finish our insect unit and we take our midterm. Now, three pages or longer, double-spaced on any country you want. But be sure you research it. Just don’t hand me a paper that says, _ ‘In Africa, they eat termites _ .’ I really want you to be as in depth as you can get. I know it sounds strange to those in this country or some in Europe or in Canada, but the rest of the world eats bugs. It’s called entomophagy. And girls, insects are low in carbs and fat.”

Some of the girls smile at that. Penny continues making a disgusted face.

One of the girls, Bernadette, raises her hand. “What if we find a recipe? Can we include it?”

“I would love it if you did that,” Alex smiles, her own excitement building at this assignment. She loves when her students come up with their own ideas and build upon them without looking to her for all of the structuring.

The bell rings suddenly, startling her, and the students begin chattering excitedly and gathering their things. She looks at the clock above the classroom door. Just one more class – her last of the day – and then her tutoring session. She’s almost done. She can’t believe how eager she is for this school day to end. She’s never excited to leave school. She thinks of Maggie slaving over a hot stove, making something just for her. She thinks of her apartment – she’s very curious to see it – and she can’t help but wonder if they’ll kiss tonight. She knows she can kiss her first. She doesn’t have to wait for her to make the first move. It almost startles her how much she wants to do  _ more _ than kiss.

Maggie Sawyer is what Lucy would call “complicated”. She has done some questionable things. Normally, she’d be a little weary of a woman who cheated on her partner, but she witnessed that woman’s break down. For the few weeks she has known her, Alex has suspected that something devastating happened to Maggie. Sometimes, a smile or a laugh sneaks through – more now than when they first met – but she is distant and sometimes, he doesn’t seem to be there at all. When she thinks of how devastated she had looked as hse explained everything to her – Emily and her leaving and the cheating, not to mention her parents basically abandoning her like an unwanted puppy– it broke Alex’s heart. It still breaks when she thinks about what Maggie has been going through. 

And she had expected her to want to leave, to not want anything to do with her. Alex had seen the way Maggie braced herself, expecting her to tell her to leave her apartment. How many times have that happened to her? How many people have just left her when she clearly needs them? It hurts Alex to think about. Yes, Maggie has made some horrible mistakes but she regrets them. Anyone can look at Maggie Sawyer and know that she regrets what she’s done. Alex knows too well what making the wrong choices means but luckily she has always had a strong network of people ready to help her. She can’t think what would have happened if John Jones, her father’s best friend, hadn’t helped her ten years before. Maggie  just fell in love with the wrong person. Love. Alex wonders if she still loves Emily. She asked and Maggie said that she’s never loved anyone before her but does that mean she still does? 

There’s a fleeting thought in her mind as some of her seventh grade students stream into the room, arriving for their last class of the day. They are loud and hyper as they always are but Alex seems distant as she stands at the front of the classroom, still holding the study guide in her hands from the previous class but then the bell rings, bringing her from her thoughts.

“Alright, everyone settle down!” Alex calls out over the noise and the students settle down as they take their seats. “Now, I have graded all of your reports and presentations and I will be handing those back as well as distributing the study guide for your midterm. This is for your benefit. I won’t be collecting these but everything that will be on your test will be outlined on this guide. You’re allowed to work with a partner in filling out the questions but if it gets too loud, I’m going to have you work on it by yourself.”

She explains all of this as she gathers a stack of the study guides and hands them out to the students before grabbing the stacks of different colored report folders and as the students begin spreading out and sitting with their friends to begin working, Alex hands back the reports. She pauses at Winn’s desk – he’s working on the study guide by himself– and Alex places his green covered report in front of him. 

“Great job,” Alex whispers to him and when Winn opens the front cover and sees the large ‘A’ in red marker, he smiles almost shyly. “There’s a statewide science fair in December. I think you and me should talk about that.”

Winn doesn’t say anything but he keeps smiling and he nods slightly. Alex smiles and then continues to hand back the reports, trying not to stare back at the clock.

* * *

 

Maggie has never felt like this before. She feels nervous and anxious and she’s just cooking spaghetti but she stirs the sauce constantly, not wanting it to stick, and she makes sure the noodles are cooked thoroughly. She remembers when her grandma made spaghetti when she was just a little girl and she would let her and her cousins taste them to see if they were done. Margherita, her grandmother and namesake, was from Italy and pasta for her was sacred, not just a meal. Maggie knows that spaghetti are ready only when they are “al dente”, meaning to the tooth. They need to be tender but give a little resistance when you bite them and they are definitely not mushy. She misses her grandma so much, she died when she was thirteen years old, so just an year before her parents had kicked her out. She often wonders what would have happened if she had been still alive at that time. Maybe she would have accepted her and taken her in, or likely she would have been ashamed by her, just like her own parents. Maggie can’t help but remember when she had shown Emily how to properly cook pasta. She even wonders if she ever has fleeting moments like this in Washington – where she’s doing something and she thinks of Maggie. She doubts it. She doubts Emily ever think about her. She’s probably consumed with working on her new relationship and living happily ever after.

Maggie shakes her head. Not tonight. She can’t do this tonight. Alex’s coming over and she’s making her dinner. Glancing at the clock, she sees that it’s almost six. Making sure the burners are on low so everything is simmering and staying warm, she hurries into her bedroom. Some sauce has splattered onto her shirt and she pulls it off. Normally, she’d leave it on the floor but… well, what if Alex comes into the bedroom tonight? Maggie doesn’t want her to see dirty clothes lying all over the place. But Alex won’t be coming in here… will she? Will they be having sex tonight? Does she want to have sex? Maggie has never turned down sex and if Alex gives her hints that she wants to, well… she  _ is _ feeling something towards her. A definite attraction. Maggie finds her to be gorgeous and smart and she wants to spend time with her. She has no intention of turning down sex if Alex wants it.

She leaves her blue jeans on and tugs on a black sweater. She’s just about to go into the bathroom to brush her hair but the intercom next to the door begins buzzing and she hurries to answer it.

“Yeah?” She answers, holding down the button.

_ “Dr. Sawyer, I have an Alex Danvers down here to see you,” _ Bill, the building’s doorman, says into the box.

“Let her up, Bill. Thanks.”

Maggie takes a deep breath and takes a quick look around. Her apartment is spotless. She has a maid come once a week but she rarely has anything to clean. Maggie lives here but all she actually does here is sleep, eat and have sex. She’s always felt that if her apartment were ever to burn down, she would easily be able to replace everything in it with no sentimental issues. No pictures or knick-knacks. Not even house plants or a favorite coffee mug. But still, she gives the large open kitchen, dining room and living room a glance. She admits it. She’s trying to impress Alex. Most women are impressed the instant they walk into her apartment. Her address certainly informs them of her wealth and when they actually see where she lives and the first thing they see when they walk in are the large floor to ceiling windows that overlook Centennial Park, Maggie understands the way they think. She’s good looking, young and single with loads of money. Maybe their one night of sex can be more. It never is. But with Alex… she hopes she likes it. It’s so different – the complete opposite – of her own apartment. When you walk into Alex’s place, you can tell that a person actually lives there. 

There is a soft knock on her door and she takes another deep breath. Why is she so nervous? She’s being ridiculous. She swings open the door and she feels herself already beginning to smile. Alex is standing there with a brown paper grocery bag in the crook of one of her arms and holding Gertrude’s leash with her other hand. She’s smiling widely.

“Hi!” She greets. “I’m not too early, am I?”

“You are right on time,” Maggie steps aside. “Come on in. The pasta just finished and I have a bottle of Merlot and I even bought Gertrude some dog food.” 

“You did?” That makes Alex’s smile grow even more.

“Why are there so many brands of dog food? It’s completely overwhelming,” Maggie says and then smiles a little when Alex laughs. Maggie unhooks Gertrude’s leash for her and the dog trots into the apartment, her nose to the floor, sniffing curiously at her new surroundings and Alex steps in after her, stepping aside so Maggie can close the door after her. “Here, I can take that. You didn’t have to bring anything,” she tells her, taking the bag from her arm.

“I didn’t bring anything special. Just some garlic bread, I didn’t know if you had any, and mint chocolate chip ice cream for dessert,” she says. “It’s vegan, which is gross… but we won’t risk to go to the E.R., right?”

Maggie chuckles. “Sounds great. I didn’t even think of garlic bread.”

“Oh… wow, Maggie.” Alex’s mouth hangs open as she stares at her large apartment sprawling before her. It’s certainly bigger than hers. She thinks that maybe her living room is the size of her entire place. “The view…” she takes a step forward but then stops. The trees of the park across the street and down below look as if they’re on fire and it’s so beautiful. When Alex looks out her windows, she sees other buildings but looking out Maggie’s windows and seeing Centennial Park  _ right there _ , it almost doesn’t feel like the city.

She then looks around, taking in other details. Maggie’s place is immaculate and very clean. The furniture is dark – dark wood and fabrics in shades of gray or tan – and there actually seems to be very little actual color anywhere. There is an obscenely large flat screen television on the wall and so many remote controllers on the coffee table, Alex finds it hard to believe that they’re just there for the television.

“Oh, Gertie, no,” Alex hurries over when the puppy jumps onto one of the armchairs. It’s far too nice for a dog to be on.  _ She’s _ almost afraid to touch anything.

“It’s alright, Alex,” Maggie smiles but Alex ushers Gertrude from off the furniture anyway.

“What do you need me to do?” Alex asks, stepping into the kitchen, doing her best to ignore the nervous fluttering in her stomach. “Can I help?” 

Maggie shakes her head as she puts away the ice cream Alex has brought. “Absolutely not. You just… stand there. I got this.”

Alex smiles and watches as Maggie then preheats the oven for the garlic bread. “I love garlic bread. Remember how I said I had many favorite foods? Well, garlic bread definitely makes the cut. I could probably eat it every day if I could.”

“Emily hates it,” Maggie replies before she can stop herself. In an instant, the kitchen is like a vacuum and all of the air is sucked out. There is silence. Maggie’s stomach drops to her feet and Alex looks at her closely. Maggie has no idea why she has just said that. There was no reason to even be  _ thinking _ about Emily with Alex there. 

“Well,” Alex says quietly. “I’m not Emily.” An awful thought then occurs to her. “Is that what you want? Do you want me to be like her? Do you want me to  _ be _ her?”

Maggie looks at her, almost reluctantly. She doesn’t say anything though. Alex’s silence is so much worse than any possible response Maggie could provide. The flutters turn to knots and they stare at one another for neither know how long. Alex doesn’t understand. Maggie has told just a bit but from what Alex has heard, Emily treated her abominably. Why would Maggie want the same treatment from her? She doesn’t  _ want _ to treat Maggie like that. No one deserves it. And she likes her. She really likes her and she’s trying to show her that. But apparently, she’s just some poor excuse for the woman Maggie really wants. Alex suddenly feels quite sick to her stomach. 

She almost sighs in disgust. “Because, Maggie, if you want me to be anything like Emily, or any other woman, if you aren’t thinking about me when you’re with me… and if you think that I’m just going to be alright with you comparing me to another woman, well, then, you’re making dinner for the  _ very _ wrong woman.”

She sniffles but she doesn’t cry. She feels like she’s moments away from doing so but she refuses to break in front of her. This evening hasn’t gone at all how she planned. She thought they were going to eat dinner and laugh and talk and then maybe… maybe kiss. But why would Alex ever kiss her when she would probably be thinking of Emily the entire time? Ugh, Emily. Alex really hates her and she doesn’t even know her. Alex can’t actually remember the last person she’s hated and she doesn’t like feeling like this. 

“Come on, Gertrude,” Alex grabs the dog leash and she hooks it onto her collar. 

“Alex,” Maggie finally speaks but she can’t seem to bring herself to say anything further. 

And Alex doesn’t wait. Maggie watches as she buttons her leather jacket up again and goes to the door, opening it. Maggie opens her mouth but she doesn’t know what to say. What can she say? She  _ was _ thinking about Emily – a fleeting moment where she thinks of how she had never done this with her. Making dinner and talking and another quick thought of how Alex looked right standing there while Emily had always looked like she wanted to be anywhere else. She thought of Emily because Alex was so different and when Alex was talking about her love of garlic bread, Maggie thought of how Emily hated it. Emily had seemed to hate a lot of things – including her. 

Maggie needs to tell Alex that, to explain herself and why she uttered Emily’s name, but Alex is standing at the door, about to walk out and she can’t think.

Alex looks at her, still on the verge of tears but keeping her strength for now. Eliza Danvers had raised her two daughters to be kind but she also taught them to be strong. Alex is always able to radiate with that confidence easily, while Kara sometimes has her moments of self-assurance, for the most part, she is the quieter, almost meeker, of the Danvers sisters. And this is one of the moments when Alex needs to be strong. She can feel it churning deep within her as she looks at Maggie and she keeps being so damn silent.

“I’m a really great girl,” Alex tells her and pauses to swallow past a lump lodged in her throat. “I really am. And… and I just thought you would want to get to know  _ me _ .” 

“Alex,” Maggie says again but she’s gone, the door closing behind her.

The apartment is silent and Maggie stands there, not able to move. She just stares at the spot where Alex stood just seconds ago. What the fuck just happened? She had been so excited for Alex to come over and she looks now at the noodles still simmering in water on the stove and the sauce in the pot, bubbling gently. The oven beeps suddenly, preheated for the garlic bread. The apartment then falls silent again. She can detect a faint whiff of her perfume lingering in the air. She looks down at the bag of dog food she had set on the floor against the island. She looks at the two plates she had already set out on the table.

Maggie doesn’t know why she had gotten her hopes up about tonight. It shouldn’t surprise her that she ruined it. But it doesn’t stop from feeling so bad. Alex has only been here for a few minutes but already, everything feels too empty without her.  

* * *

“Here, Ms. Danvers,” Jamie says quietly, coming up to her desk, holding her study guide.

Alex has been sitting at her desk, staring out the window for the past five minutes, off into space, but the instant she hears one of her students, she is instantly at attention again. She gives the tiny redhead a tight smile and takes the packet of papers she’s offering her.

“Thank you, Jamie. Do you want to go over this with me right now?” Alex asks and she nods, easing herself down into the empty chair next to her desk as she takes out a red pen and uncaps it. Alex has been quiet all day. She’s done her best to hide behind smiles and lesson plans but she’s been different and some of her more observant students have noticed – Jamie being one of them. She watches her closely now. “I, um, can we go over pheromones in insects again?”

“Of course,” Alex nods, turning to the third page of the study guide.

Her iPhone buzzes from her purse in the bottom drawer of her desk but Alex ignores it, only stiffening it slightly. She knows who it is. For the past two days, Maggie has been leaving her text messages and voicemails and she hasn’t returned a single one. She doesn’t know if she’s going to. Maggie hurt her deeply and she doesn’t know if she wants to see her. It’s gotten so bad, she’s even cancelled morning meetings at the coffee shop, instead, getting to her classroom earlier in case any student wants to speak with her. Alex is too confused and she doesn’t know what to say to her.

“Ms. Danvers?” Jamie notices her change in body language. “Is everything alright?”

“Of course,” Alex nods and then does her best to smile. “Even teachers are allowed to feel a little off from time to time, too.” Her phone gives a short buzz, indicating a new message and she sighs. “Give me one minute, please, Jamie,” she leans over in her chair and opening her drawer, she pulls her phone from her purse.

_ “Hey. It’s um, it’s Maggie. Sawyer. Obviously, you don’t want to talk to me. I get that. I just… I’m hoping you might change your mind because I really would like to talk with you about the other night and what happened. I never meant to say Emily’s name or give you the impression that I wanted you to be like her. That’s the last thing I want. Please call me back. I would really like to apologize to you in person.” _

Alex sighs again and deletes the message. She realizes that she wants to call her back but at the same time, she doesn’t want to be second choice. Why should she settle for that? There’s more than likely a woman out there, waiting for her, a woman who would treat her right and who would want  _ her _ and not just because she’s lonely. But… she’s already seen sides to Maggie that most women would  _ never _ show. She has fun with her. They laugh and talk and she feels a level of comfort when she’s with her. She knows she may seem young but she knows what she wants. She wants love and to be loved. She wants what everyone else wants for themselves. She’s not saying that she’s in love with Maggie. But she does like her and who knows? Maybe if things were different, if Maggie wasn’t going through everything she’s going through… maybe, maybe, maybe. 

Maggie keeps calling her though. That means something. Or maybe Alex is incredibly delusional because she really likes her.

“Sorry about that, Jamie,” she apologizes, returning the phone to her purse. “Let’s go over the pheromones.” 

“It’s Dr. Sawyer, isn’t it?” Jamie concludes and Alex looks at her with surprise. “I ran with her this morning. She was really quiet. And she knew not to go to the coffee shop.”

“It’s… nothing,” Alex shakes her head. “And even if it was, I’m your teacher and teachers are supposed to act as if we don’t have any sort of private life outside this school. I remember how strange it was when I was young and I would see one of my teachers at the grocery store. I don’t know. We just assumed they lived at school or something.”

Jamie smiles but then it fades as she continues looking at Alex. “Dr. Sawyer seems really sorry about whatever it is that happened.”

“Jamie,” Alex  _ really _ doesn’t want to talk about this. “We can’t talk about this. I’m your teacher, you’re the student and we’re supposed to be talking about insect pheromones.”

“But this is so much more interesting,” Jamie jokes and Alex has to bite back a smile.

“Come on, Jamie Lord,” she shakes her head slightly, hiding her amusement, and then pats the study guide. “Pheromones are definitely going to be on the midterm. Dr. Sawyer is not.”

* * *

Hearing a buzzing noise, Alex wakes up in the middle of the night, flying into a sitting position. For a moment, she thinks it’s her alarm clock but her hand pauses in mid-air, stopping herself from turning it off because it’s definitely not her alarm clock. Gertrude, stretched out on the other side of the bed, sits up and begins barking at the persistent noise and the slumber is wiped from Alex’s brain. 

“Shhhh, Gertrude, shhhh,” she rubs a soothing hand down the dog’s back as she pushes the covers away and gets out of bed. It’s the callbox next to her front door and she looks at the clock on the microwave as she passes the kitchen. 1:10 in the morning. “Yes?” She almost nervously answers, hitting the ‘speak’ button.

“It’s Maggie.”

Even through a small box, her voice is booming and clear and Alex’s body reacts to it.

She swallows. “Maggie… it’s late…”

“It’s raining. Please, Alex. Just let me up for a couple of minutes,” she pleads.

Alex then hears the steady pattering against the windows. It is raining. She chews on her bottom lip. She can’t leave her out there. It’s cold and raining and she might get sick. Lucy would probably get pleasure in a man who had hurt her getting pneumonia but Alex wasn’t like her best friend. She hits the entry button and then steps back from the box, her hands nervously wringing in front of her. She lives on the fifth floor. She doesn’t know how long it will take Maggie to get up here but it seems within a matter of seconds, there’s a knock on her door and Gertrude’s barking again. 

“It’s okay, Gertrude,” Alex peeks through the peephole though who else can it be and she then unlocks the several locks on the door, opening it. Maggie is soaking wet and Alex wonders how long she has been out there, buzzing before she woke up. 

“Come in,” Alex immediately steps aside and Maggie stares at her as she slips in, Alex closing the door behind her. “Ignore the pajamas,” Alex nervously says, looking down at her light gray polka dotted pajamas pants. 

“Oh, no… They’re cute,” Maggie can’t help but reply.

Despite the cold rain weighing down her clothes, Alex can feel a warmth radiating from Maggie’s body. It’s familiar to her now. She takes a step back from her and Maggie keeps staring at her. 

“I’ll get you a towel,” Alex says and then quickly turns and goes into the bathroom. There’s a tiny closet there where she keeps sheets and towels and when she grabs Maggie a fluffy white towel and returns to the living room, she’s still standing by the door. For the first time, Alex notices that she’s holding a bag.

“Thanks,” Maggie says and her eyes never leave Alex’s as she takes the towel. “I… I brought you something,” she then holds out the bag.

Alex hesitates but then takes the bag. She goes further into the living room and flips on the lamp on a table next to the couch. Maggie rubs the towel through her hair, still watching her as Alex peeks into the bag to see what it is. Inside, she sees four boxes of frozen garlic bread and she stares at them for a moment before lifting her head, looking at Maggie curiously, her heart twisting and pounding in her chest. It almost hurts. 

Maggie’s eyes silently plead with her. “I love garlic bread, too.”

“Maggie…”

“I’m sorry,” Maggie takes a step towards her. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t like you were there and I was wishing Emily was instead. I was thinking that… you two are so different.”

“And that’s a bad thing,” Alex assumes where she’s going with this.

“No, not at all,” Maggie takes another step closer, shaking her head. She wants to touch her but she doesn’t. “It’s just different. You and her are nothing alike.”

“Good,” Alex snaps. “You haven’t told me that much but I don’t want to be anything like her. And if that’s what you want for yourself then you can take your stupid garlic bread and-” 

“Alex,” Maggie interrupts. They stare at one another. The rain taps against the window panes. Maggie has no idea what to say. And Alex has no idea what she wants to hear.

But then, Maggie tilts her head to the side and she finally speaks, “I care about you. A lot. And I don’t meet many people that I care about. But you’ve become really important to me and… And I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it.” 

“Me, neither,” Alex admits, giving her a small smile.

“I’ve been so stupid and I ruined everything as always,” Maggie sighs and Alex shakes her head and, taking a step closer to her, she touches her arm.

“I got scared… But life is too short. And we should be who we are. And we should kiss the girls that we want to kiss. And I really just, I… I want to kiss you.”

Alex widens her eyes and for a moment she wonders if she’s still sleeping because it can’t be real, it can’t be happening. But then, Maggie raises herself on her tiptoes, puts her hand on her cheeks and her lips are on hers.

She’s actually kissing her.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... They finally kissed!!! Stay tuned for next chapter, hot stuff is coming ;)
> 
> Oh, and l'm just like Maggie so... Don't mess with my pasta, please!
> 
> And a little poll: would you like to read smut or not? Next chapters are going to deal with some hot stuff but I'd like to know if you're comfortable with that. Let me know, please :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie speaks to Alex's students and, after that, they need to handle the sexual tension between them. 
> 
> Smutty content starting when Alex arrives at Maggie's place... you're warned!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Aliens didn't kidnap me... I only had a new job and needed to handle that, studying and having a social life. Time has actually been flying away during the last month but, as I told you before, I'll never forget and abandon you!  
> You left a lot of kind, cute, lovely, caring messagges and reviews and I can't tell you how much grateful I am.  
> Thank you, a lot.
> 
> This chapter is a milestone for Maggie and Alex's relationship and the last part is definitely smutty, I think I should change the story rating for that. Writing smut always makes me a little nervous, so please let me know how it turned out.  
> Oh, and I'm not a doctor so all I know about medicine is related to Grey's Anatomy (and a lot of googling as well).
> 
> I promise I'll update soon!
> 
> Enjoy (:

Jamie walks to her assigned seat in Ms. Danvers’s classroom but she stops short when she sees someone who’s not usually there sitting in the seat next to Ms. Danvers’s desk. Without dropping her things off, she goes to him, licking her dry lips nervously.

“Hey, you’re not usually in this class,” she says. _Brilliant, Jamie_ , she thinks to herself.

Winn Schott closes the notebook he's writing in to tilt his head to look up at the tiny redheaded eighth grader. “No, it’s my free period. Ms. Danvers got me special permission to sit in this class, so I could hear Dr. Sawyer talk.”

“Oh. Cool,” Jamie mentally kicks herself. She never has any idea what to say to this boy. Winn is so shy and quiet and yet, he intimidates the hell out of her. Jamie has no idea why. Maybe she can talk to Dr. Sawyer about this. “Do you want to become a doctor?”

“I’m not sure,” Winn shrugs. “I’ve thought about becoming a biological researcher, I like science and informatics… but that might change. What about you?”

It takes her a second to realize that he has actually asked her a personal question. “Oh, me? Um, well,” she clears her throat. “I graduate here and then go to high school… of course. After that, who knows? I can to go to college, hopefully on a hockey scholarship, and then from there, I get drafted and play in the pros until I’m in my mid-thirties. I’ll then retire, live from endorsement money, occasionally give some commentary for ESPN and maybe… open a bakery,” Jamie says and when she looks at Winn, she realizes that he's smiling faintly.

“Wow… you have it all planned out,” he comments.

“Don’t you?” Jamie is surprised. He seems like the kind of person with everything planned and scheduled; the kind who highlights his own notes.

“When I was five-years-old, I wanted to be a secret agent,” Winn admits and Jamie grins, almost laughs because she has no idea why he said that.

She doesn’t care of course – she's just happy he’s talking with her. They spend time together, but she always gets the feeling that he's doing it because his mom runs in the same social circles with her grandparents and they often attend the same functions together. With Winn, it always feels like he's simply tolerating her. The afternoon they had run into one another in the park and he had caught a frog, chasing her around with it and listening to her shriek and laugh, that had been one of the best afternoons of her life.

“And then when I was seven, I wanted to be a professional clarinet player,” Winn continues. “This…” he gestures around the classroom. “Is the first thing that’s truly interested me for more than a month.”

“You’re brilliant at it,” Jamie says. “I like it, too, but I don’t get things most of the time.”

The bell rings, cutting her off, signaling the beginning of class and Winn gives her another faint smile before he drops her head and opens his notebook again. Jamie suppresses a sigh. At least she got to talk to him. That’s more than she usually gets. She turns and heads to the lab table she shares with Ruby, one of her teammates, but she has no idea how she’s supposed to pay attention today – even if this is Ms. Danvers’s class and Dr. Sawyer is speaking today – when she knows that Winn is sitting in the back of the class.

“Don’t be nervous. Are you nervous?” Alex asks Maggie as they leave the front office after procuring Maggie an all-day special visitor’s badge.

“No, I’m good,” Maggie shakes her head. The bell has rung, and the hallways are almost empty as the last few kids race to their classrooms. Alex’s wearing a white sweater and a pair of dark tight slacks, and her simple black heels tap on the floor as they walk.

“I don’t know what I’ll say to them, but I’ll think of something,” Maggie looks down at what she’s wearing. Dark jeans and a gray blouse, under her light blue leather jacket. Alex has assured her that she looks just fine. Gorgeous even.

“I have told each student to write one question to ask you, but I haven’t reviewed them so knowing my students…” they begin heading up the stairs. “You’ll probably be asked how much money you make, if you’ve ever killed someone, which is the grossest thing you've ever did… you _don’t_ have to answer anything you don’t want to,” Alex tells her.

“It’s okay. I’ll answer anything,” Maggie tells her, looking at her.

 “I can’t thank you enough for doing this. I think this will be a great way to start off the human anatomy unit,” her hand touches the shorter woman's arm and she stops walking to face her. Alex stops, too, and turns towards Maggie. The hallway is empty. Classes have started. Alex needs to get to her students, but Maggie is staring at her and Alex can’t look away from her. She almost nervously tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t guilt you into this, did I?” She’s not sure why she asks.

“I want to do this,” Maggie says in a low voice, shaking her head.

Alex looks beautiful today. Alex looks beautiful every day. Maggie misses spending time with her. Ever since she showed up at her apartment in the middle of the night the week before, she’s been desperate to set things right with her.

Maggie can almost still feel Alex's soft lips on hers. They had spent the whole night talking and occasionally kissing and even though Maggie used to have sex with women all the time, she has never felt closer to anyone before. Alex is something else, so caring and ready to truly listen to her words. To understand her.

Maggie was the one to mention speaking to her classes. She knew how much this meant to her and when it comes to Alex, Maggie’s beginning to realize that her smile is worth her doing a lot of things. Is she setting herself up to be hurt again though? She used to think Emily had a beautiful smile, too, and had allowed herself to become powerless to it.

 _Stop it_ , Maggie silently yells at herself. Alex is _not_ Emily. She’s not going to be Emily. And the sooner she allows her mind to accept that, the sooner she can stop being an idiot.

“You look beautiful,” Maggie hears herself say and Alex’s cheeks blush.

“Thank you, you clean up nice too,” she smiles faintly. “And thank you for doing this,” Alex says again.

Maggie takes a step closer to her and the hallway suddenly feels as if someone had just spiked the temperature on the thermostat. Alex puts her hand on her shoulders, surprising them both, and she’s not sure why she’s done that. Maybe to push her off? No, definitely not to push her away. She can feel her warm hard muscles underneath her clothes. Oh, goodness she’s so firm. Oh goodness, she’s touching her students’ guest speaker in the hallway where she works. No, no. This is wildly inappropriate. But then Maggie’s hands slowly slide onto her hips, coming to a light rest there and Alex can’t look away from her. Her lips part and she wants Maggie to kiss her. She wants to tell her about the sudden horrible ache between her thighs. She wants to feel again her lips on her. She wants to kiss her and press her against the wall and push her pants down-

“Okay,” Alex takes a sudden step back. “We can’t,” she tries to catch her breath.

“Right,” Maggie nods, looking away. There’s a dryness in her throat and she suddenly, desperately, needs a glass of water.

Alex takes a deep breath and then turning, she heads into the classroom, Maggie following but lingering in the doorway. The kids are rowdy and loud but the instant _Ms._ _Danvers_ walks in, they quiet down. Alex smiles at them, her eyes doing a quick head count. Everyone is present. She sees Winn sitting in the back of the classroom and she keeps smiling.

“Alright. I’m sure your brains are practically mush from the midterms you’ve just spent three days taking in each of your classes, and this upcoming weekend, I plan to spend it grading everything, so I can start handing things back next week, but we have to push on and begin our next unit.” Alex has written HUMAN ANATOMY on the chalkboard. “And I’ve asked a very good friend of mine to come and speak to you. She's a fellow cardiothoracic surgeon at the Metropolis General Hospital right here on the Upper East Side. She has a very prestigious reputation in the medical community and I am so happy that she is here today and speaks with you. Now, everyone has written down one question to ask her?”

Everyone nods, and some hold up slips of paper with their questions written down.

Alex turns her head and smiles at Maggie as she continues lingering in the doorway. “Class, this is Dr. Maggie Sawyer,” she walks over to her and taking her hand, she pulls her into the classroom, bringing her to stand next to her at the front of the class behind the large lab table. There is soft applause and Alex gives her another smile before stepping away, heading towards the back of the classroom to where her desk is. She doesn’t sit though. She keeps standing, watching her.

Maggie clears her throat, looking at the twenty students – plus Winn – staring back at her. There is no reason to be intimidated. They’re just a bunch of thirteen-year old. She is _not_ afraid of them or nervous. And besides, this is for Alex. She can get through this for her.

“Ms. Danvers is kind of nervous about your questions, worried that you’ll ask me something offensive,” Maggie begins. “But I told her that I will answer anything, so… ask away.”

No one raises their hand though and everyone stares at her. Maggie really needs a drink of water. Give her an operating room and a scalpel any day. She has no idea how Alex does this every day, standing up here. A minute passes before Jamie rolls her eyes at her classmates and then raises her hand.

“Hey, Jamie,” Maggie is relieved to see her in there.

“Hey, Dr. Sawyer,” Jamie grins. “How’d you know you wanted to become a doctor?”

“Well… I was in high school. I grew up in Blue Springs, Nebraska. I even played hockey down there, but not as good as you-”

Some of the students cheer and Maggie can’t help but grin. She sees Alex laugh a little and she feels the muscles in her body start to slowly unknot.

“Anyway, I knew I wanted to help people, do something good. And I liked science so much. So, I just knew I'd like to be either a doctor or… who knows? A detective could be good as well, working for the science division. It seems I really liked blood.”

“How long did it take?” A girl asks.

“Well, it depends. I wanted to be a surgeon, so my program was more intense and took more time,” Maggie answers. “There’s pre-med and then med school. And then you have your intern year at a hospital. That year is insane, and you survive on very little sleep and a lot of coffee. You report to a resident and you work on every attending’s rotation, so you get to try every field available at the hospital. I really liked neurology but the instant I serviced on cardiothoracic, I knew that’s what I wanted to do. And after you take an intern exam and pass, you then have about five more years of residency before you’re an attending.”

“How much do you make?” A boy asks.

“George,” Alex frowns at her and there’s a ripple of laughter.

Maggie shakes her head towards Alex slightly to let her know that it’s alright and he tries her best not to smile.

“A lot,” she says. “But if you want to be a doctor, a good one, you don’t have to do it because of the money. You need to be passionate and dedicated. It isn’t just a job, it’s a vocation.”

“You gave my grandpa a new valve. He says you’re the best,” another girl says, smiling at her.

 “Thank you,” Maggie smiles back.

“Do you do a lot of work with transplants?” Winn asks.

“I do,” she nods. “With normal heart transplant, the heart is put on ice, which makes it cold and dead. And then you run to place it in the recipient’s body and you wait and hope for that cold and dead heart to come back to life. Anyway, when I was a resident, we were able to put the heart in a special box that allows it to keep beating. It was warm and alive, outside the human body. It was a miracle.”

Alex is listening to her words and, just like all her students, she’s utterly fascinated by that amazing woman in front of her.

“3D printing is widely used by medical professionals now, and two years ago you printed a portal vein and then transplanted it into a baby,” Winn recites. “Would you consider that your crowning achievement as a surgeon?”

Maggie looks at her for a moment and then smiles. “Damn, you’re good,” she says and Winn smiles bashfully, bowing her head shyly. “Yes, I would say that that’s the one surgery I’m most proud of. It’s put me in the medical journals forever.”

“How could you print a vein?” A girl, Ruby, speaks up.

“After the surgery to insert a synthetic graft, Nathan Glazier rejected it and his heart was failing. I was reading a scientific article about biodegradable polymers and found out that in Japan they were printing conduits and seeding them with the babies’ own cells. It was a very experimental procedure and so, we had to run a lot of texts and waiting for the authorization by the FDA. After some failed attempts, we finally printed a conduit which worked for Nathan.” Maggie smiles proudly, before adding, “Now he’s a cheerful and happy and curious little boy. Honestly, my dream is to build fully-functional, 3D printed hearts, one day.”

Maggie talks for the entire forty-minute class and the questions keep coming. She answers them all and Alex watches from the back of the classroom, hanging onto her every word. When the bell rings, everyone is surprised and then they break out into applause. As they leave, some of them shake Maggie’s hands and thank her.

“Running tomorrow?” Jamie asks, slinging her book bag onto her shoulder.

“Definitely,” Maggie nods and Jamie slaps her hand before leaving. “Hey,” she says to Winn, watching as he tries to slip out of the room undetected. He stops and Maggie notices that he won’t meet her eyes. A lock of dark hair falls at the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t brush it away. “Are you interested in this?” Maggie asks. Winn nods without speaking. “Well, if you’re interested, you can come to the hospital. We have a viewing gallery. I can get you permission to watch a surgery if you want.”

That makes his head jerk up and he looks at her with wide eyes. “Really?”

“Sure,” Maggie nods. “I’ll give Ms. Danvers a schedule of upcoming surgeries I’m doing. You can pick which one sounds good.”

“Oh… wow. Thank you. That would be… Thank you so much, Dr. Sawyer!” He’s beaming and hurries out from the classroom, a bounce in his step.

The classroom is empty, and Alex has a free period now. Maggie turns towards her, and then Alex has thrown herself against her, her arms around her shoulders, her body pressed to her and she’s hugging her tightly. Maggie doesn’t hesitate. Her arms wrap around her and she hugs her tightly, squeezing her body to hers. She smells so good and Maggie closes her eyes, forgetting for a moment that they’re in her classroom.

“You were amazing,” Alex tells her softly in her ear, her breath warm. “Thank you so much. You…” she pulls her head back and she nearly gasps when she sees how close their faces are. Their noses are almost touching, and she falls into her eyes. “Thank you,” she whispers. “This meant so much to me.”

One of her arms remains around her waist and her other hand slowly runs up her back. Maggie never looks away from her and Alex doesn’t look away either. She suddenly can’t hear anything around them except for her heart pounding in her chest, pumping blood, roaring in her ears, and she can hear Alex’s breath quicken. She’s going to kiss her. Again. She doesn’t care if they’re in her classroom and a student can walk in at any moment. Maggie looks at the freckles on her nose, at her pale plump bottom lip, at the way she’s looking at her. This woman wants to be kissed and she’s going to be the one to give it to her.

“Alex,” she whispers.

It’s not soft and polite and hesitant. Instead, Maggie kisses her like she’s a desperate woman and she supposes, in a way, that’s exactly what she is. She kisses her hard and demanding and Alex moans against her lips, her arms loosening around her, so her hands can clutch her shoulders. Her mouth slants, covering hers, and Maggie kisses her hungrily, her tongue in her mouth and Alex finds herself leaning against her, the room spinning. She needs support as Maggie plunders her mouth. This definitely isn’t a polite kiss, but Alex could care less. This is the kiss she’s never received from another person in her life.

This kiss is making her weak in the knees. Just like the week before.

Maggie’s hand is in her hair, cupping the back of her head, as she kisses her over and over again. Her lips are soft, and her mouth is wet and warm, and she tastes so damn sweet, Maggie wants to crawl in past her lips and live there. Alex moans again and her hands are in Maggie’s hair as well, fingers gripping locks of it, and Maggie suddenly spins them around so the small of Alex’s back is pressed to the front lab table. Alex opens her mouth wider against her and her tongue twists with hers. Their hips are pressed together, trapping her, and Alex is feeling a dampness in her panties that makes her press herself against Maggie like some sort of wanton creature caught in heat.

“Alex,” Maggie whispers again breathlessly.

The bell rings suddenly, signaling the beginning of the next class, and Alex reluctantly pries her lips back from hers. They’re both panting, their chests heaving up and down, and Alex has to clench her thighs together.

“I’m on cafeteria duty right now,” she tells her, almost regretfully.

“Come to my place after school,” Maggie says and they both know what will happen if she does. She hesitates for only a moment. “I want you,” Maggie tells her in a soft, yet firm, voice.

Alex almost shivers. “Say my name,” she nearly demands but also in a soft voice.

“Alex,” Maggie immediately says and this time, Alex is the one to kiss her first, her hands cupping her cheeks.

“Please. Come over afterwards,” Maggie presses kisses to the side of her throat. She needs to breathe but she doesn’t want to stop.

And Alex is nodding, barely breathing, hardly thinking, with her fingers curled in the material of her blouse. “Say my name again,” she whispers.

“Alex,” Maggie whispers right into her ear and this time, Alex does shiver.

 

* * *

 

Alex doesn’t remember the rest of the day. She doesn’t remember classes or teaching or asking questions or assigning homework. She doesn’t remember talking to Ned as she picks up Gertrude from the janitorial staff room in the basement and she doesn’t remember waiting in the lobby of Maggie’s building as Bill, the doorman, once again calls up to her.

She wants this; she wants _her_. This has been building, she realizes. The first time she saw her in the emergency room in those dark green hers scrubs of hers, Alex felt an attraction and the more time she spends with her, it grows. She’s missed her. The past few days, even after Maggie showed up at her apartment in the middle of the night armed with garlic bread and they had shared their first kiss, Alex put a little distance between them, needing time to think. But she had missed her. She’s comfortable around her and Maggie can make her smile. She likes her, and she knows now that Maggie likes her, too. Alex decided she isn’t going to drive herself crazy questioning that. It isn’t love. It’s a strong attraction between them and both of them want the other. Maggie, the way she had said her name, Alex didn’t doubt that she was thinking of her and no one else.

She’s never done this before. She’s never gone and had sex with a woman she’s not in a relationship with and she doesn’t know if this will be _just_ sex between them, but she really does like her and right now, Maggie is the only one that can relieve the ache between her legs.

The instant she knocks on her apartment door, Maggie opens it, still wearing the dark jeans and gray blouse she wore to speak to her class. Her hair is messy, as if she’s spent the past few hours running her hands through it in frustration. Alex feels a sudden surge of power. Maggie wants her just as much as she wants her.

Maggie doesn’t say anything. She grabs Gertrude’s leash from her hand and the puppy trots into the apartment as if she lives there and Maggie unhooks her, dropping the leash onto the floor. She then looks at Alex and she almost gasps at how dark her eyes look right now.

“Hi,” she smiles but then Maggie is grabbing her and kissing her, slamming the door shut behind them. Alex instantly falls into the kiss, wrapping her arms around Maggie, meeting her mouth with hers eagerly.

Maggie pulls and Alex follows, their lips never separating and her tongue once again plunders her mouth as if she’s starving. Maggie kisses her until she can’t breathe and even then, she keeps kissing her. She’s leading her somewhere, but Alex won’t open her eyes and she only wants to focus on Maggie’s mouth and hands right now, her hands that are trailing down her back and over her ass. Maggie suddenly grips the back of her thighs and lifts her up. Alex gasps with surprise but then realizes what she’s done and she kisses her again, pulling her closer. The kitchen counter is cold and very hard granite beneath her, but Alex can care less. Right now, all she cares about is her getting as close to Maggie as possible. She spreads her legs and Maggie hooks her hands underneath her knees, pulling her to the edge of the counter, her body perched there.

They smile against their lips, refusing to end the kiss, as Maggie pushes the hem of her sweater up, her fingertips rough and warm on the skin of her hips, she then unzips her pants and Alex holds herself on her hands, allowing her to pull them down her legs.

She struggles with Maggie’s belt and finally getting it undone, she then fiddles with the button and zipper of her pants as the other woman touches her for the first time through her, at this point very wet, panties. Alex gasps and Maggie watches her with an intent stare as she rubs her slowly. Alex squirms and then bracing her hands on the counter again, her message is clear. She lifts herself up and Maggie swiftly pulls her panties down her legs, tugging them off, together with her pants, and dropping them on the floor. Alex sits down again, the counter so cold against her ass, and Maggie shoves her sweater up to her waist. One of her heels slips off to the floor but she doesn’t notice. They’re frenzied, desperate and wanting this so much between them. Alex’s hands are shaking and Maggie has to help her. Her pants fall down her legs and together, they push her black boyshorts down.

“Fuck,” Maggie swears as Alex doesn’t even hesitate in touching her; her fingers brushing against her and stroking her clit a few times. “Don’t. That’ll make me come,” she kisses her again, pushing her hands away and then she hooks a hand underneath her knee again, spreading her wide for her. “Are you wet?” She asks even as her hand trails up to feel for herself.

“Are you kidding?” Alex swallows, her throat dry from panting. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this wet before,” she then gasps as she feels her fingers touching her, rubbing and caressing but not entering. “Maggie,” she almost whines, squirming. “Please… please, Maggie.”

Maggie can’t wait either. This time will be fast, but this won’t be the last time. She’s already planning on more times after this. Alex better be, too. This isn’t the one and only time.

One of her hands is gripping the outside of Alex’s thigh, as she finally entered inside her with one finger. She kisses her as she surges in, thrusting completely in, slipping and sliding effortlessly with the help of her wetness but she’s so tight and they both moan because her muscles flex and form around her finger immediately, squeezing. Alex clenches her eyes shut and presses her face to the side of Maggie throat.

“Oh Maggie,” she whispers without realizing it. Her eyes are closed but she feels her between her thighs, _inside_ of her. All she can think of doing is wrapping her legs around Maggie’s waist and letting her fuck her right there on her kitchen counter.

“So tight,” Maggie whispers in response as she brings her finger back, pulling out as far as she can without separating them before thrusting back into her again. “Alex,” she moans, and her hand is digging into her thigh and hip, probably holding too tightly that will leave tiny bruises but that’s the very last thing on either of their minds. Without missing a beat, she moves her body and is now just in front of Alex’s knee. Maggie wanted to focus on Alex, but she needs something too. Alex opens her eyes and looking at Maggie, she kisses her, before pulling her towards her body. She starts rubbing her leg against her opening, feeling how much aroused she is as well.

They start a new rhythm, Alex is moving her knee against Maggie and Maggie is thrusting her fingers, now two, into Alex, and moans and gasps and groans are filling the air.

After a while, Alex realizes that she’s still wearing her leather jacket and her sweater but she’s so hot, she feels sweat on the small of her back. It takes them longer than it should – probably because they haven’t stopped their movements against each other– but they finally get her jacket off, tossing it away. Her mouth is open as it meets Maggie’s, kissing her hard and Maggie groans as she bites on her bottom lip. Her hands slip beneath the collar of her blouse, feeling the hot skin of her upper back. She’s rocking her body against her and Alex moans each time she thrusts deeply into her.

It’s fast and hard and they can’t stop kissing one another. Alex hears herself plead with Maggie to go harder and her thrusts are faster now, short and shallow but that won’t do because she wants her just as deep as before. Alex locks her ankle around her ass and forcibly tugs her against her leg. They both moan and Alex’s hands grab her hips, guiding her. They’re sweating and panting heavily, and Alex realizes that they’ve barely taken their clothes off. This is how much they want this. No waiting. Maybe they’ll do this again later tonight. She wants to. So much. This is the best sex she’s ever had, and it’s not even finished. But… it’s different, too, in such a good way. The way Maggie kisses her is so soft and gentle compared to her powerful thrusts between her thighs, stretching her open for hers. And she keeps whispering her name. “Alex,” over and over again. Maggie wants her to know that she’s the only one she’s thinking about and it gives Alex a deep, wonderful twisting in the center of her chest.

Her ass is slapping against the counter now as the sex intensifies even more. Her nails dig into her back suddenly and she cries out. Maggie thinks, for a second, that maybe she’s coming but she looks at her face and she whimpers.

“More,” Alex gasps. “Right there.” And Maggie tries to remember where _right there_ is and when she does it again, the same sharp cry bursts from Alex throat. She’s so wet and hot and her body clings to her fingers. Maggie moves her other hand, and her thumb begins rubbing in circles against her clit. She watches Alex’s face as she fucks her, and it’s too much for her too. Her movements against her knee, now completely slick with her wetness, are frantic and she’s almost embarrassingly grinding against her leg.

Alex is almost sobbing from the intensity and when she comes, she practically bursts. She squeezes so tightly around her, it’s as if she has no choice in the matter and moaning loudly, Maggie comes too, trembling and squeaking against Alex’s tight.

Minutes – maybe hours – later, and Alex’s inner muscles are still clenching around her fingers. They’re both sweating and panting heavily, sharply, and their bodies tremble with the aftershock intensities of their orgasms. Alex can’t remember the last time she came that hard. Maggie looks at her. Her skin is flushed and dotted with sweat and there’s a shine to her that announces to the world that she’s just been thoroughly fucked on a kitchen counter.

She smiles at her and when Alex opens her eyes and sees it, she smiles but it’s shy and she leans forward, dipping her head down and resting it on her shoulder. Maggie brushes her lips against her forehead and she feels Alex’s hands rubbing up and down her back. It’s quiet between them, both of their hearts still racing, and all Maggie can think about in this moment is how unbelievably nice this is and how she never felt this kind of moment with Emily.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex doesn't want to leave Maggie's bed after their night together, and Maggie is doing everything she can to distract her.  
> After that, Maggie gives Jamie some love advice, while Alex is late for her first class.
> 
> The first part of the chapter is kind of smutty, then there's a lot of fluff!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you, a chapter just before I leave for work.  
> Enjoy <3
> 
> And, as always let me know what you think... And THANK YOU for your lovely words and reviews :)

Sometime after they left the kitchen, they stumbled into the bathroom, laughing and kissing, and they shared a shower that had Maggie bending over with her hands flat on the heated tiled walls and Alex standing behind her, gripping her hips and manipulating her body with her fingers. And then, after that, still wet, they fell into bed, Maggie’s body straddling Alex’s and her nails scraping down her back and her scalp as she went down on her. Finally, in a heap of tangled limbs, they dropped off into an exhausted sleep. But now, Alex is awake, blinking into the darkened bedroom. Maggie’s apartment is quiet except for the low hum as the heat kicks on.

She’s curled on her side and Maggie is behind her, her body curled around hers and her arms are wrapped around her, keeping her warm, holding her in a cocoon embrace. She smiles faintly to herself. She never would have thought that Maggie Sawyer would hold her afterwards, but this entire night has taken her by surprise. The sex was intense – mind-blowing even – and yet, it had been gentle with a caring tenderness behind it as well.

Peeking over, she sees Gertrude sprawled out on the carpeted floor next to the side of the bed where she is. She smiles and then looks at the clock on the nightstand. It’s almost five. She should be getting up. She has to go back to her apartment and get herself ready for the day before coming back this way for school. She has too much to do but she stays right where she is without moving. This feels too good, being in Maggie’s bed, curled up in Maggie’s arms, feeling her warm breath exhale softly onto the back of her neck. Her body is sore in that delicious sort of way and this woman just gave her the best sex of her life. She only hopes that she made it good for her, too. She had given her everything she had.

Alex shifts and the instant she does, Maggie murmurs something in her hair she can’t hear, moving a little behind her. One of her knees wedges between her legs. Alex smiles, closing her eyes, feeling her soft and warm body behind hers.

“I have to go,” she whispers.

“No,” Maggie grunts.

She almost laughs. “I have to get home and get dressed before school.”

Maggie lifts her head to look over her to the clock before she drops her head back down on the pillow and squeezes her arms around her. “You have plenty of time,” she tells her.

“It’s not like I can wear the same clothes to school two days in a row. I teach twelve and thirteen-year old kids. If I show up wearing the same outfit two days in a row…” she trails off and Maggie snickers into her hair.

“Are you saying that your students are smart enough to know that if you show up wearing the same clothes as yesterday, they’ll know you had sex and spent the night at some women’s apartment?” She asks with a smile in her tone.

“You’re not _some_ _women_ and yes, of course they’d know. _Everyone_ would know,” she says.

Maggie smirks but is quiet. After a moment, she whispers, “I don’t want you to go yet, Alex.”

She’s not sure what it is but anytime Maggie says her name, Alex feels almost a sense of relief. At least she knows that she’s thinking about her and she knows that she’s the one in her bed. Alex closes her eyes and nestles her back against her chest. Maggie brushes her lips across the back of her shoulder and Alex bites down on her lower lip, smiling, as one of Maggie’s hand rests on her stomach, flexing as if she’s trying to determine which direction she should go. Up to the breasts or down to her legs. Alex laughs quietly and Maggie smiles against her shoulder as her hand makes a decision. Alex rolls onto her back and Maggie props up on an elbow next to her as her other hand slowly pushes the bed sheet away from her naked body before the tip of her index finger begins running in slow circles around one of Alex’s breasts. The nipple almost instantly hardens, and Maggie can’t help but lean down and brush her lips against it. Alex’s toes curl and she struggles to keep her eyes open.

“Maggie,” she protests weakly, her hands on her shoulders. She is in such incredible shape. Muscular and fit, she doesn’t seem to have any fat anywhere on her body. “We can’t.”

“I think we can. I think we’re actually pretty good at it,” Maggie smirks against her breast.

“ _Pretty_ good?” Alex can’t help but tease her and Maggie’s hand squeezes her other breast.

She skims hers lips upwards until he’s speaking right into her ear. It amazes Alex how just her whispering to her can make her want her. “Amazing,” Maggie murmurs, her lips following the shell of her ear. Alex is losing this battle and they both know it. “Fantastic. You rocked my world, Alex Danvers.”

It sounds so ridiculous, but she feels a warmth rush throughout her body and knowing that all arguments and protests are quickly fleeing, she wraps her arms around her and pulls her body down on top of hers. They’re both smiling when their lips meet, and they kiss. Maggie’s hand leaves her breast to trail down the side of her body before coming to the outside of her thigh, which she grips and spread out to the side. Her body nestles down between Alex’s thighs, her hips being cradled, and they kiss one another slowly. Alex wishes she has all of the time in the world, but she just doesn’t, and she reaches her hand down between their bodies.

“Whoa, hello,” Maggie pulls her head back as Alex touches her between her legs, feeling just how already wet she is.

“Come on,” Alex bends her knees like butterfly wings, keeping her legs spread, as she begins to stroke her. She looks up at her. “You started this, madam. I’m just hurrying you to finish.”

Maggie grins but then lowers her head and kisses her firmly. “I never hurry,” she lets her know. “I take my time. I drive you crazy with my fingers and mouth-”

“Come on, Mags,” she interrupts with a smile. “Give me a good morning before I leave.”

That keeps Maggie grinning and she kisses her again, her tongue diving in past her lips.  Alex’s fingers keep caressing her and her back arches slightly from the bed as Maggie slowly presses her own hand against her and then takes her time sliding her fingers into her body. Alex squirms – Maggie notices she does that when she’s doing something that is driving her crazy – and holding herself up on one hand near her head, her other hand is inside her. For a moment, Maggie doesn’t move. She’s buried inside of her and she just stays there.

“Maggie,” she whines. Alex flicks her finger against Maggie’s clit and lifts her hips up to urge her to move. Maggie can’t help but giggle and Alex falls back onto the mattress in a huff. “Maggie, fuck me,” she whispers, and her own fingers dig into Maggie’s channel, making her moan.

“You want me to fuck you?” Maggie murmurs, her lips in a smile against Alex’s.

She pulls her fingers back, sliding almost out of her heat, and Alex eyelids flutter shut. Maggie is so talented and caring, she just wants to give her all the pleasure she’s feeling right now. For the first time, she is able to have an orgasm solely from penetration. They found that out in the shower. She’s never had that happen before and she certainly isn’t going to argue if Maggie wants to give it to her again.

“Come here,” Alex says softly, looking up at her, and then wrapping one hand around her, she begins to move her finger in rhythm with Maggie’s. Their body are rocking in synch against each other’s hands, that sense of urgency gone now that they’re moving, now that their fingers are pushing inside of them and filling them over and over again.

Maggie watches Alex as she’s struggling to keep her eyes open and her face looks completely relaxed. There almost seems to be a small smiling pulling at one corner of her mouth. She has white sheets on the bed and Alex’s dark auburn hair is such a stark contrast against it. Her skin is smooth and soft and pale, and Maggie can’t resist but lean down and brush her lips along the column her throat to her shoulder. Alex hums from the back of her throat in appreciation of that, and she changes the movement of her fingers, crooking them and rubbing them against Maggie’s front wall. Alex’s legs are still bent and open, and she brings her hips up to meet Maggie’s fingers, causing her to sink deeply each time. She’s so wet and tight and Maggie closes her eyes, resting her face to her neck, allowing herself to lose herself entirely to the feel of her.

It’s been a long time since she’s had morning sex and she knows that Alex has to get to work. She has to get back to Midtown and then come back here all before classes start and she doesn’t want to make her late, but she feels too good and she can’t pull herself away. And Alex isn’t exactly pushing her to stop. Maggie moans loudly as Alex’s palm brushes against her clit, her fingers keeping touching her G-spot and that’s overwhelming. Alex is taking care of her, and Maggie isn’t used to that. Usually, women come to her to have a good night of sex and she just gives them that. No feelings, no emotions. With Alex it’s all so different. God, Maggie wants her. Even in the midst of having her, Maggie still wants her. Again, and again. This hasn’t happened to her in a long time, but she doesn’t want to think about the last time. She doesn’t want to think about anything if it doesn’t have to do with Alex and having sex with Alex and being with Alex. Nothing, at this moment, matters.

Maggie feels herself getting closer, she lifts her head from the side of Alex neck and she kisses her again. Alex kisses her back and moves the hand that isn’t inside Maggie, on her left breast, right over her heart. Maggie wonders if she can feel it pounding.

 

* * *

“What time is first bell?” Maggie asks her nearly an hour later. She’s sitting up in bed, leaning against the headboard, and she watches as Alex stands naked in front of her dresser, looking at her reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall above it, combing her fingers through her tangled hair.

“Eight,” she glances at the clock as she answers, seeing that it’s almost six. She definitely won’t have time for a shower this morning because although technically, she and Maggie took one last night, they’ve done plenty of activity since and she wonders if the scents of sex and sweat are permeated in her skin.

“Will I see you again?” Maggie watches as she pulls on her black lace panties. The night before, she had brought her clothes into the bedroom from the kitchen.

The question makes Alex still and she looks at her, standing at the foot of the bed. “I would think so. Unless… do you do this often?” She then wonders, a lump in her throat.

“Do what?”

“Have sex with women and never see them again?” She clarifies.

They hadn’t used protection any of the times they had had sex. Maggie told her sometime between the kitchen and the shower that she gets tested every month and if she gets tested every month, she must have a lot of sex and has a reason to be extra precautious. At the time, Alex had been so hot and wanting her so much, her words had barely sank in but now, in the growing dawn of the morning, she can’t help but wonder.

Maggie is quiet for a moment, wondering how to response. The truth would probably be the best way to go. She takes a deep breath. “After Emily left… I’ve had a lot of one-night stands. That’s why I get myself tested. I don’t know the women and no, I’ve never seen any of them since. But… then there’s you.”

Alex nods, swallowing, and she finds her bra. She doesn’t put it on though as she looks back at her. “I want to see you again,” she tells her softly and Maggie’s smile is one of relief, but it fades after a moment.

“All of those women, I wore protection with them,” she tells her, staring at her, hoping that she understands what she’s trying to tell her.

Alex understands, and she smiles. It’s strange to think that her _not_ wearing protection with her is sweet but she’s trying to learn to understand the few words Maggie Sawyer says and the words she _doesn’t_ say and by her not wearing protection with her, Alex understands she’s not just a random girl to her. This whole thing between them isn’t a random event that will never be repeated. No. This is something else. Maybe it’s something more.

Still smiling faintly, she drops her bra and comes around to the side of the bed. Maggie grins as she climbs on and turns around, sitting down in her lap. Maggie wraps her arms loosely around her waist but still holds her close and Alex’s hands slide onto her cheeks.

“So, tonight?” Alex asks, and she nods. “How about my place?” She then suggests, and Maggie nods again, smiling this time, showing her dimples. One of her hands runs over her hair. “I almost don’t care if I ever go to work again. I mean, can’t I just quit and stay in this bed forever?”

“Really?” Maggie chuckles.

“Yep,” she nods. “I could call in sick.”

“Who are you and what have you done with the incorruptible Ms. Alexandra Danvers?” Maggie teases her, and Alex laughs before giving her a quick kiss. “I guess you have corrupted her for the past twelve hours.”

Alex watches her for a moment and she twists a lock of Maggie’s thick and dark hair around her finger. “What if I’m not feeling well?” She coughs, “I’ve got the black lung.”

“The black lung?” Maggie can’t help but giggle again. She’s feeling so giddy and carefree with Alex and that’s new and kind of odd. “Well, in this case, I think tonight I’ll need to visit you. As a doctor, I can’t ignore your symptoms.”

Alex smiles and kisses her again.

Gertrude suddenly barks, breaking their blissful moment.

“I really have to go,” Alex sighs and Maggie lifts her eyes to hers, one of her hands lifting to her cheeks. They share another kiss… and then another. “Maggie,” Alex smiles against his lips. “We can’t… this is getting ridiculous. I _have_ to go.”

“Alright, alright,” Maggie whispers.

She smiles and then reluctantly, drops her arms so they’re resting on the bed on either side of her and no longer touching her. She’s still smiling when Alex remains on her lap. With a roll of her eyes, Alex cups Maggie’s cheeks with her hands she’s kissing her again.

 

* * *

 

Despite the lack of sleep the night before, Maggie feels completely refreshed and as she jogs with Jamie through Centennial Park an hour later, her body pushes to run faster. It’s cold, Halloween drawing nearer and nearer, and they’re both in sweatpants and thermal shirts. They run the path they do every other morning, stopping at the drinking fountain for a quick gulp of water and to take a breather.

“I need some advice,” Jamie informs her.

“What’s up?” Maggie asks.

“It’s about Winn. We actually talked before you came to class,” Jamie tells her. “It wasn’t anything special, but we talked. That’s good, right?”

“That’s very good,” Maggie nods. “He’s a really smart boy. He seems really shy though.”

“He is. I… I want to ask him out. How do I do that?”

“Have you ever asked a boy out?”

Jamie shakes her head, almost embarrassed. “My friends and I go out but it’s always in a group. I’ve never really had a boyfriend before.”

“Me neither,” Maggie smirks, bumping her shoulder into Jamie’s. “Be simple about it. You’re kids. Don’t try to do something over the top,” Maggie says as they begin jogging again. “Is St. Jonnz’s having a Halloween thing?”

“There’s a costume party this coming weekend,” Jamie nods.

“Ask him if he wants to go with you,” Maggie suggests.

“And if he doesn’t?” Jamie looks genuinely worried, her brows furrowed.

It amazes Maggie that a kid like Jamie, a hockey star who’s always in the newspapers for her skills on the ice, would be lacking confidence. Being a teenager is definitely very hard. She thinks of herself at Jamie’s age. Thirteen years old, just before her forced coming out. After that, she had decided to show herself as cocky as possible. Even though that was just a trick to hide her shyness and self-doubt. Only with Alex, Maggie has allowed herself to show her fears and weakness. Alex. She feels like such a sap, but she smiles just from the mere thought of her. She thinks of the kitchen counter and the shower and the two times in her bed. That morning, after she laughed and pushed herself away from her and took Gertrude and left to go back to her own apartment, Maggie hadn’t washed the sheets. Instead, she simply made the bed and grabbing a gym bag, she began gathering things to take to Alex’s apartment that night. She has to work at the hospital all day and will bring the bag with her, so she can take a cab straight to Alex’s place after her shift. It’s strange. She just spent most of the night inside of her with her fingers and her mouth. She had just had her fingers inside of her less than two hours ago. But she can’t wait to be inside of her again.

“If he doesn’t, ask again,” Maggie shrugs. “Nothing wrong with being persistent. You like him, don’t you?”

“A lot,” Jamie nods.

“Then make a move,” Maggie says.

“Did you make a move with Ms. Danvers?” Jamie grins at her.

Maggie looks at her from the corner of her eye and smirks. “No comment.”

Jamie begins laughing. “Did you and Ms. Danvers… you know. Did you two have a human anatomy lesson last night?”

Maggie is trying her hardest not to smile. “You shouldn’t talk about Ms. Danvers like that, Jamie. She’s your teacher. You should respect her. And even if she wasn’t your teacher, she’s a woman and you should respect her.”

“I probably respect Ms. Danvers more than any other person besides my grandparents,” Jamie replies. “Another postcard from my dad came yesterday but grandma snatched it up before I could read it. It looks like he’s in Morocco right now. Do you think Morocco is nicer than Metropolis?” She asks but Maggie can tell that she really doesn’t want an answer and even if she does, Maggie has no idea what to say. Jamie sighs softly. “I bet it’s real nice. I bet if I was in Morocco, I would never come back here.”

Maggie suddenly has an image in her head of herself as a young girl, alone in front of her aunt’s house.

She stops running and so does Jamie. “Hey,” Maggie says in a gentle voice. “We still have plenty of time before you have to get to school. Let’s go get some egg sandwiches.” Jamie is looking down at the ground, but she nods, and Maggie puts a hand on her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “I’ve never had one before from that coffee shop. Are they good?” Maggie asks as they begin walking.

“They’re the best in the whole city,” Jamie nods, still looking at the ground, her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants.

“I bet Morocco doesn’t have them,” Maggie comments casually, glancing over to her.

Jamie’s lips twitch in a smile but it doesn’t completely form. “Yeah… that’s true.”

 

* * *

 

For the first time in two years since she began teaching at St. Jonnz’s, Alex is late to her first period class. When she finally gets back to her apartment from Maggie’s, she decides that she _has_ to take a shower – five minutes, in and out – and then she has to blow-dry her. She doesn’t even see the clothes she pulls on – blue skinny jeans and a white sweater– and she tugs on simple black ankle boots before she’s grabbing her bag and leather jacket and Gertrude and she’s racing out the door again. Getting a taxi is a nightmare and then morning traffic seems heavier than usual. By the time she drops Gertrude off with Ned, the bell has already rung and she’s late. She can hardly believe it and when she hurries into her classroom, her students look at her in shock, also hardly believing it. Ms. Danvers is never, ever late.

“Sorry, sorry,” she’s breathless as she sets her bag, travel mug of black tea and keys down on her desk. “Okay. Sorry,” she says again. “It’s just one of those mornings.” She takes a sip of tea and then grabbing her seventh-grade science book, she heads to the front of the class, standing behind the front lab desk. “And how is everyone today?”

She’s met with grumbles and murmurs which she’s used to from her first period class. It’s eight o’clock in the morning and no one wants to sit in a science class this early.

“Well, it’s Thursday. We’re almost there. Is everyone going to the costume party on Saturday?” She asks before taking another sip from her mug.

“I’m protesting Halloween,” Meredith Grey declares. Almost everyone groans. Meredith is usually protesting one thing or another on the school’s campus, such as school uniforms or the cafeteria’s meat products. “It’s not even a holiday. It’s just an excuse for girls to dress up in lingerie and look as slutty as possible.”

“Of course, Halloween is a holiday,” Izzie Stevens, one of the costume party’s organizers, frowns at her. “It’s been celebrated in one form or another since before the _sixteenth_ century.”

“If you work for a candy company, it’s a holiday,” Meredith responds haughtily, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.

Izzie’s parents own an upscale candy and confectionary company – Stevens Chocolates – and at Meredith’s comment, there are some frantic whisperings between students, amused and hoping for a fight, and Izzie’s eyes narrow as she glares at Meredith. Everyone, including Alex, knows that they can’t stand one another. Izzie is very active in school and is on several different committees while Meredith doesn’t sensor her passionate dislike for everything that has to do with St. Jonnz’s.

Alex claps her hands sharply once, silencing everyone. “That’s enough! Now,” she smiles and takes a deep breath. “I’ll be bringing in cookies and some candies tomorrow as a little treat and we’ll also begin watching a movie, _Inside Planet Earth_. Now, we’re beginning our geology and earth science unit. Did everyone read the chapter? Can someone tell me what geology is?”

She waits as everyone opens their textbooks and notebooks and she takes another sip of tea. It’s barely 8:20 in the morning and already, she can’t wait to get home this evening. What has Maggie done to her? Of course, she _knows_ what she’s done to her and she has to hide her smile as she remembers in vivid, photographic memory, detail the night they had. She’s glad she’s standing behind a lab table as she feels the need to squeeze her thighs at the mental feeling of Maggie buried deep inside of her.

She scolds herself to stop it. She’s acting incredibly unprofessional right now, thinking about having sex with Maggie instead of focusing on her students and teaching them. She’s just thankful no one can read her mind, especially with the extremely graphic images she’s having right now involving herself and Maggie.

“George,” she says suddenly, seeing George O’Malley with his head down on his desk in the back of the classroom, dozing. He jumps to attention, sitting up. “What is geology?”

“Uh, the study of Earth?” He guesses as he rubs his eyes tiredly.

“Yes, the study of Earth but there’s a little bit more to it,” Alex says. “Derek, can you help him out?”

She dives herself into the lesson plan and begins talking about geology and the study of the solid Earth and she has a PowerPoint presentation to lecture on and her students take notes and ask questions and answer those she poses. Thoughts of Maggie settle into the back of her mind as she spends the day doing what she loves – teaching – but they never leave her alone completely. She wonders if she would be able to make it through the day easier without them or if the day would be unbearable if she didn’t have them.

* * *

 

It’s almost seven o’clock when Maggie leaves the hospital after more than a ten-hour shift and with her bag slung onto her shoulder, she easily hails a cab. As she settles into the backseat, pulling out her iPhone, she gives the driver Alex’s address. Traffic is a little heavy and as the taxi merges into a lane, Maggie turns her phone on. It has been a long day and she’s tired but anticipation to see Alex is buzzing through her body like electricity. She can’t wait to see her. She’s been thinking about her all day.

There’s a text message waiting for her, but she ignores it to dial Alex’s number. “Hey, I’m on my way,” she says the instant she picks up on her end.

“Thank god,” Alex sighs and Maggie grins. It’s nice to know that she _wants_ to see her. “I’m almost finished with making dinner. Please tell me you like chicken, because that’s the only recipe I can make without burning everything. I make this thing that’s like fried chicken but it’s not because I coat it in corn flakes and bake it-”

“I love it and it sounds great,” Maggie nods. “Do you need me to pick up anything? Chocolate syrup, whipped cream?”

“Just please bring yourself. I am so horny, Maggie.” She laughs.

Maggie laughs, too. It’s also nice to know that she wants her as badly and as much as she wants her. With Alex, she gets the feeling that this isn’t all one-sided. Already, she thinks that maybe she and Alex are on the same exact page with one another. She’s never had that before with another woman, except Emily, and she’s not entirely sure how to act about it. It’s new and exciting and it’s absolutely terrifying at the same time. She tries not to focus on that, however, now.

“I promise to help you with that as soon as I get there,” Maggie smiles, glancing through the cab’s front windshield. She hates traffic.

“How was your day? Was it busy?” She asks her, and Maggie can hear cabinets open and bang shut again from her end of the phone.

Maggie sinks into the black leather seat behind her and smiles. Alex asks because she really wants to know. Yes, they’ve had sex but before that, Alex wanted to get to know her and she still does. That makes Maggie feel good. She’s sure there’s another word for it but right now, it’s good. _She_ makes her feel good.

“Exhausting. I hate interns,” she answers, making her laugh.

“Poor baby. Sounds traumatizing.”

“It was. I might need you to help me forget all about it,” she smirks, and Alex laughs again.

“I promise to answer the door topless. And then, I really want to taste you, Mags,” Alex suggests, using a throaty voice. “How’s that?”

“I’m about to get out of the cab and just run the rest of the way,” Maggie whispers.

 _Beep!_ Gertrude begins to bark. “That’s the oven. Chicken’s done!” She calls out. “Hurry!”

Maggie is smiling as she pulls the phone away from his ear after she ends the call. She looks out the window. Just a few more blocks. She’s been looking forward to this all day and now, just a few more blocks. She takes a deep breath. Her phone beeps, reminding her of the text message and she unlocks her screen to read it.

She thinks she can physically feel her heart stop however when she sees who it’s from.  

_I hate Washington. - Emily_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry-not-sorry for the end of this chapter... Stay tuned and don't worry, everything is already figured out ;)
> 
> A little poll: is there anything you'd like to read about them? Let me know!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie tells Alex about the message while Jamie is eventually brave enough to ask out Winn.
> 
> Little angst in both cases.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you :)
> 
> As always, thank you. The great response of this story always surprises me!
> 
> I couldn't leave you waiting after last chapter, so the new update is here! Hope you'll like it :)

Maggie spends the night at Alex’s apartment Thursday night and Friday night as well. When she wakes up on Saturday morning, instead of the warm body next to her in bed being Alex, it’s Gertrude . The puppy is sprawled out on her side and Maggie smirks tiredly, her arm thrown across the dog’s middle. She rolls onto her back, yawning, and rubs her hands over her head. She looks at the clock on the nightstand. Almost seven. She's found that Alex never really seems to sleep in. Maggie is working the night shift at the pit so she doesn’t have to be at the hospital until six o’clock. She has the entire day to do nothing.   
  
Alex’s bed is a king-size, and her mattress is soft and it squeaks when there’s too much movement and she has blue bed sheets with a thick gray goose down comforter that makes Maggie just want to curl up and sleep for hours. Alex's bed is so much better than hers – warm and inviting without thoughts of who used to occupy it. Alex's entire apartment is infinitely times better than her. It is small and cozy and Maggie feels more relaxed and comfortable there than she ever does at her own place.

 

With a groan, she pulls herself out of bed. She can see Alex in the living room, sitting on the couch. There’s an episode of Black Mirror on the television but Alex isn’t watching. Her head’s bowed down and knowing her, she’s probably grading papers or making lesson plans. She never stops working, it seems, except when Maggie is distracting her with her rather clever methods. She really likes that about Alex though – that she’s so dedicated to her job and so passionate about it. It kind of turns her on. Then again, Maggie is beginning to realize that there are a lot of things about Alex Danvers that arouse her.   
  
She's naked and her gym bag is on the floor. She tugs on a pair of black panties and a bright orange t-shirt she borrowed from Alex the night before. Then, yawning again, she shuffles from the bedroom into the living room. She could probably sleep for a few more hours but she feels bad sleeping the day away in Alex’s apartment without her in bed with her.   
  
“Hey,” Maggie greets.   
  
Alex turns her head and the smile that appears on her face is instant. “Hi.”   
  


Maggie leans over the back of the couch and Alex tilts her head up and they share a soft kiss. She’s wearing a light gray t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants. There are also stacks of papers in neat piles on the coffee table and one in her lap, a red pen in her hand.   
  
“What are you doing?” Maggie  asks though it’s obvious.   
  


“I promised the kids that I’d start grading their midterms this weekend. It’s going to be an all day process,” she replies, still smiling. “I have seven classes, seven sets of midterms.”   
  
“God,” Maggie looks at the seven large piles. “That’s going to take you all day.”   
  
“And tomorrow probably,” she shrugs. “But it’s fun.”   
  
Maggie smirks, shaking her head, and then giving her one more kiss, she turns and goes into the kitchen. Alex has already brewed a fresh pot of coffee and Maggie had brought over a box the night before filled with Alex’s favorite chocolate-filled croissants from the coffee shop. Flipping open the lid, she counts and sees that she’s already eaten two. She smiles and opening the cabinet closest to the refrigerator, she takes down a plain black ceramic mug and pours herself some coffee.   
  
“Do you need more coffee?” Maggie calls out to her.   
  
“I’m good, thank you! Hurry! I’m about to start a new episode,” she answers back.   
  
Maggie smiles and taking a small plate down from another cabinet, she drops a croissant onto it and then with her breakfast, she heads back into the living room, the remote in Alex’s hand pointing to the television. She eases down next to her and Alex presses play. They both love Black Mirror. Maggie takes a bite of the croissant and suddenly, Gertrude is alert, sitting at her feet and begging.   
  
“You’re off tomorrow and Monday again, right?” Alex asks.   
  
Maggie nods. “But I’m working all night tonight,” she reminds her. “Jamie told me about some costume party the school is having tonight. I’m surprised you aren’t chaperoning.”   
  
Alex laughs a little. “I volunteered but I was shot down. I’ve chaperoned every dance the school has had since I started teaching there. I was told to take a break from this one.”   
  
Maggie smiles. She’s amazing. She's never met anyone like her.   
  
Alex sighs heavily. “Look at Spencer Edge’s midterm,” she says, holding it up in front of her and Maggie looks at it. Not a single answer is filled in. “I can’t believe he did this.”   
  
“I hate that kid,” Maggie frowns, thinking of that snobby little shit from the coffee shop.   
  
“Great. I’m going to have to call his parents and have a sit down with him, them, and the principal. I won’t be allowed to fail him though,” she almost reluctantly writes the ‘F’ at the top of the first page before setting it aside, adding it to the pile.    
  
“Why not?”   
  
“Because of who his dad is and how much money they give the school. He’ll pass eighth grade and head to high school and then probably Yale just like both of his parents.”   
  
Maggie can tell that the whole thing upsets her and that just pisses her off. The school where she teaches, it’s a bit of a different world and money and a last name can get you far. She reaches over and rubs a hand on the back of her neck. “I’m sorry,” Maggie says softly. Alex shrugs like it doesn’t matter but Maggie knows it does. She works so hard at her job. She teaches because she truly loves it. She loves to learn herself and she loves trying to get her students to love learning, too. Maggie leans in and kisses the side of her head.   
  
Alex gives her a faint smile and then brushes her lips against hers. “Thank you,” she whispers even though Maggie has no idea what she’s done. Alex then smiles a bit brighter. “What are you doing up anyway? You could have slept in.”   
  
Maggie takes a sip of coffee. “I woke up cuddling Gertrude and it frightened me.”   
  
Alex laughs and kisses her again before turning on the couch so she’s stretching out and she drapes her bare legs across Maggie's lap. Maggie settles back into the couch, finishing her croissant, not giving any to Gertrude, because of the chocolate inside. There are minutes of comfortable silence as Alex grades and Maggie watches the TV show. She slides the plate onto the coffee table, mindful of her stacks of papers. There’s a black picture frame and she picks it up, looking at the picture held within. Everyone is smiling and laughing and there is a newborn baby in a black man’s arms.   
  
“Who is this?” Maggie can’t help but ask. Alex’s in the picture with that big bright smile of hers but she’s the only one Maggie  recognizes.   
  
Alex smiles, leaning in. “Well, that’s me. And these are my mom, Eliza. This is my younger sister, Kara, and this is her cousin's Clark with his wife Lois. She's Lucy's sister. These are Lucy and James, and he’s holding their daughter, Laura . And then this is John, he's my godfather and used to be my father's best friend. The picture was taken in Midvale, for Laura's  christening. I'm her godmother!”   
  
Maggie stares at the picture. They all look so happy with their bright smiles and laughing eyes and they look like they like one another with their arms around each other and she can tell that it isn’t just an act they’re all putting on because they’re getting their picture taken. It reminds her of the pictures she used to be a part of with the her family, before her coming out.   
  
Looking around Alex’s apartment, there are colors and books and fresh flowers and the black and white photos on the wall as well as more framed family photos. Maggie then looks at Alex, who’s now watching her with curiosity. 

“I really like your life,” Maggie then tells her but she's not sure why even though it’s the truth. But it doesn’t matter why she says it because Alex then smiles at her and she smiles back.

“There was a time when I used to hate it,” Alex whispers and Maggie takes a deep breath and leans forward a bit, Alex's legs still across her lap. Maggie senses Alex was going to tell her something big about her past, but she needs to wait. Alex deserves to know the truth. 

“I want to be completely honest with you,” Maggie begins and already, her throat feels dry and she thinks her hands are sweating.   
  
Alex’s smile falters a bit. She slowly nods. “I want to be completely honest with you, too,” she looks at her carefully. “That's why I-”

Maggie leans over and kisses her, her hands cradling her face. She tastes like coffee and chocolate and it’s so damn intoxicating, she kisses her longer than she initially planned. She's never had this before. Mornings. Coffee and breakfast and sitting on a couch with a girl and they don’t have to talk to one another but they can just be there together and be completely comfortable in their quietness. She's barely had mornings with Alex, she's barely had Alex, but she likes this so much already. It’s something Maggie could get used to and that’s terrifying because there have been things in her life that she has gotten used to before and they’re all gone now.

Maggie pulls back slowly and Alex looks at her face. It takes her a moment for her eyelashes to flutter and her eyes open, looking into hers. Maggie's hands linger on her face and she takes a deep breath. She doesn’t want to tell her but she has to. Maggie may have no idea what she’s doing but she’s not a big enough idiot to not know that keeping it from her is far worse.

She gets up from the couch and goes to the table by the front door where she dropped her phone and keys the night before as she and Alex kissed, their hands already pulling at one another’s clothes. They had little patience and Thursday night, Alex wound up going down on her as Maggie was pressed against the back of the door and then last night, she had pushed her down into one of the armchairs and had straddled her. It amazes Maggie that she’s had sex with Alex eight times now and she still wants her. If that doesn’t show her that Alex’s different, she’s not sure what will. That’s why she has to do this.  
  
Maggie picks up her iPhone and takes a deep breath. She doesn’t say anything. She simply opens up the text message she received from Emily on Thursday night – saved – and hands it over to Alex. For a moment, she doesn’t read it. She takes the phone and looks up at her, having no idea what’s going on. Maggie still doesn’t say anything and eventually, Alex's eyes lower and she sees what Maggie wants her to see.  
  
“You got this Thursday,” Alex says after nearly five minutes of silence.  
  
“Yeah…” Maggie is almost afraid to look at her but she knows she has to keep her eyes on her.  
  
Alex is still staring down at the text message. Four words. _I hate Washington – Emily_. Simple and harmless except it’s not – at all – because this is from Emily and Alex knows that the woman still means something to Maggie. Of course she does or, otherwise, Maggie still wouldn’t have her number and she wouldn’t be saving texts sent from her. Damn it, it has been such a nice morning. It has been a wonderful past couple of days. The kissing and the laughing and the complete addiction they’ve felt towards one another. It’s almost as if they have absolutely no control when they’re together and the sex is desperate and intense and so damn fulfilling… Alex wonders if she’s imagined it.  
  
She stands up slowly and she feels as if she’s suddenly having difficulty breathing. “Here,” she says softly, handing Maggie back her phone. “Did you reply with anything?”  
  
“No,” Maggie shakes her  head, staring at her.  
  
Alex crosses her arms over her stomach, hugging herself. She can't at her but she forces herself to. “I… I think that maybe you should leave.”  
  
“Alex…” Maggie's stomach drops. “Please, don’t… I-I showed it to you. I didn’t hide it from you. You know I could have kept it from you and not mention it at all but I did.”  
  
“You kept it, Maggie. That means something. Whether you think it does or not, you saving it for the past two days, that means something. She still means something to you.”  
  
Maggie stares at her. She doesn’t want to leave. That’s the last thing she wants to do. Fuck, she’s happy. For the first time in months, ever since Emily left, she’s happy and it’s because of Alex. She can’t just leave and go back to how she was living before she met her. Hell, she wasn’t even living. It’s only been a few weeks since she met her for the first time and it’s all moving too quickly and yet, it all feels as if this is the most natural thing in the world. When she’s with Alex, she’s not weighed down with guilt for cheating on her or for not being enough. When she’s with Alex, it’s simple and it’s fun and she’s not leaving.  
  
She acts on instinct. She closes the few steps between them and with one of her hands gripping the back of Alex's head, Maggie kisses her. Almost immediately though, Alex’s hands are on her shoulders and she pushes her away, taking a step back from her.  
  
“I’m not Emily, Maggie,” she says, growing angry. “I’m not going to be her replacement, I've already told you that. I’m not going to let you kiss me while you’re thinking about her.”  
  
“When I’m with you, I’m thinking about nothing but you,” Maggie insists.  
  
“And when you’re not with me? When you’re getting text messages that you save from… from her? I’m not going to compete with her – especially when I know that I’ll lose.” Maggie opens her mouth to argue but Alex doesn’t let her. She’s angry but there are still tears beginning to sting her eyes. “I like you so much, Maggie, but… why are you still in love with her? I don’t get it. You haven’t told me that much but you’ve told me enough. I know I’m still getting to know you but I would never treat-” she cuts herself off when she sees the pain cutting through Maggie's eyes. She can’t hide it. Alex takes a step towards her and touches her arm but it falls away a second later. “I am so sorry,” she whispers.  
  
“I can’t explain it, Alex. I wish I could because maybe… maybe I could move on faster,” Maggie admits, staring down at the floor now, trying to ease the twisting ache in her chest. “I just know… when I’m with you, I’m happy and I know that I wasn’t this happy when I was with her.”  
  
She's still clutching the phone in her hand. She stares down at it for a moment and then taking a deep breath, Maggie deletes the text message and then going into her contacts, she deletes Emily's number. She then lifts her head and looks at Alex. There’s a sheen layer of tears in her eyes but none have fallen. She stares at her now, a bit in shock. Maggie wants to go to her but she can’t bear the thought of her pushing her away. Emily used to push her away and she doesn’t want anything with Alex that she had had with Emily. So she stands where she is and she stares at her. Alex is so incredibly beautiful, Maggie  can’t believe that she didn’t see it the instant she first met her in the emergency room with a bloody tissue to her forehead.  
  
She leaves the living room and disappears into the bathroom with her gym bag. Five minutes later, she’s dressed and heading to the door.  
  
“Please,” Alex whispers, taking a step towards her but stopping herself. “I didn’t mean it. I don’t want you to go. We need to talk.”  
  
Maggie stops at the door, facing it, not knowing if she can look at her. This morning – this perfect morning – has become too fucked up and she wonders if everything in her life is going to punish her for the mistakes she’s made in the past. Can she ever move on from it?  
  
“I’ll be back, I promise you,” Maggie says and then without looking back at her, she leaves the apartment.  
  
But she doesn’t come back. Alex tries to distract herself, diving head first into the stacks of midterms she needs to grade, but her eyes keep darting to the door and to the clock. She can’t even call her. Maggie  has left her phone on the table next to the door.  
  
  


* * *

  
“Jamie Lord, what a surprise!” Mary Schott exclaims with a broad smile as she opens the door to her. “Did I know you were coming?” She steps aside and ushers her into the front entryway of the Schott apartment.   
  
“No, madam. I’m sorry, I should have called,” Jamie quickly apologizes.   
  
“Oh, nonsense. Of course you’re always welcome,” she’s still smiling at her. “I assume you’re here to see Winn though and not me?” She teases.   
  


“Yes, ma’m. Is Winn here?” She asks.   
  
“Of course he is. He's always here,” she answers and then leads them down a hallway.   
  
Jamie has known Mary Schott for her entire life. She used to be one of her mother’s friends but now, with her long gone, the Schott family and the Lord family still remain close. After all, they are what people refer to as “old” money – the kind who never has to flaunt anything because everyone knows that they have more than enough of it. The family of Jamie's mother is a publishing one, starting off in newspapers – still owning several throughout the country and also heading more than a dozen magazines throughout the world. The Schotts gained their money through real estate. They own dozens and dozens of properties throughout the city, some that have been in their family since before the early twentieth century.   
  
“Winn? ” Mary knocks on the partially open door, pushing it open. “Visitor.”   
  
With one more smile at Jamie, she then turns and leaves. Jamie lingers in the doorway, looking at the large bedroom spread out before her. There are large windows, allowing plenty of natural light, and the room is decorated in shades of green with white. On the far wall, there is a painted mural of the world, from floor to ceiling, wall to wall. His desk is against that wall – a large white wood piece messy with a Macbook and piles of notebooks and papers. Winn has a few bookcases filled with books and the walls are decorated with ads from the magazines that he enjoys looking at. He is on his bed but the instant he sees Jamie, he scrambles to his feet, a book in his hand, his thumb marking his place.   
  


“What are you doing here?” He asks.   
  


Not exactly the greeting she was hoping for. “Hey, Winn,” Jamie  shoves her hands into her pockets and steps into the room. She thinks that her red hair clashes horribly with the green. She takes a deep breath. Winn is looking at her with complete confusion. Jamie tries to remember Dr. Sawyer’s advice. Ask him if he wants to go with you. Just like that. “Do you want to go to the costume party at school with me tonight?” She blurts out in one breath.   
  
Winn stares at her for a second and she can hear her heart pounding in her ears. She then watches as his entire face falls and he shakes his head. “That’s really mean, Jamie,” he says almost in a whisper, turning his head away, his dark hair acting like a curtain, sweeping over his face.   
  
“Huh?” Jamie asks, completely confused.   
  
“So what happens if I go with you tonight? What do you and your friends have planned?”   
  
“What are you talking about? I want you to come with me. Like… you know. A date,” she has no idea what he's talking about.   
  
“Your crowd or your friends or whatever you want to call them are horrible to me,” Winn looks back at her, his cheeks flushed. “Why would I go anywhere with you after your friends wrote ‘frog freak’ on my desk?”   
  
“You think I had something to do with that?” Jamie doesn’t try to hide her hurt. “Winn … I really like you… you know?”   
  
He laughs but it’s hollow. “Right. The Jamie  Lord likes the frog freak science nerd.”   
  
Jamie stares at him for a moment. That’s what he thinks of her? This didn’t exactly go the way she had hoped it would. What is she supposed to do now? What should she say to this? She likes him and she wanted the opportunity to spend more time with him. Apparently though, on his end, the idea of spending any more time with her than what’s necessary is the last thing he ever wants to do. She really likes him and apparently, he can’t stand her. Well, that… sucks.   
  
“Right,” Jamie nods and clears her throat. “Well, I’ll see you around then. Or… not. I won’t bother you anymore.”   
  
Winn opens his mouth to say something but no words come out and Jamie doesn’t wait. She leaves, making sure she walks out straight and with her head high. She doesn’t feel like staying there so he can humiliate her again. It feels like he just punched her square in the chest and everything hurts. She wishes she can call Dr. Sawyer. She really could use her advice right now.   
  


* * *

  
  
Alex has only been to Metropolis General one time and that was the first time she met Maggie. Now, she walks through the automatic sliding doors of the emergency room with a plastic container and her eyes are sharp as she scans the large room for any hints of Maggie. She hasn’t heard from her all day and finally, around eight o’clock that night, she’s not able to take it anymore. She needs to speak with her. They both need to speak to one another. She had asked her to leave but she then took it back. Knowing that she had saved a text message from her ex – an ex that she is more than likely still madly in love with – Alex had been hurt. But seeing Maggie delete first the message and then her number from her phone… Alex didn’t care if she is working. She just needs to see her.   
  
“It’s okay, sweetie,” Alex hears a gentle voice and turning, she sees a young mother and her toddler daughter sitting one of the beds and Maggie is sitting on a stool in front of them. The little girl wearing a pumpkin costume is whimpering and her mother strokes her hair.   
  
As if she can sense her, Maggie lifts her eyes and she looks straight at Alex. Alex stands there, frozen, watching her, but she doesn’t acknowledge her further. She looks back to the little girl and her mother. Alex continues to watch her and seeing her as she works, taking care of the little girl, her heart does this little flip in her chest that she’s never experienced before and she has no idea what it means. She doesn’t dwell on it though. She just watches, unable to look away.   
  
Maggie carefully rolls some gauze over the little girl’s tiny index finger and then with a small smile, she takes a band-aid with yellow smiley faces on it and applies that as well.   
  
“There we go. All set,” Maggie holds her small hand between her two much larger ones and the little girl sniffles. “As your doctor, all I can suggest is that you don’t stick your hand in any more lit jack-o-lanterns.”   
  
“Thank you so much, Dr. Sawyer,” the mother breathes. “I turned away for a second-”   
  
“Tiniest burn I’ve ever seen,” Maggie assures her. “It’ll probably sting and itch so just leave the bandage on overnight and then just rub some aloe cream on it. Done and done.” She smiles at the little girl. “And if you go and see the nurse at the front desk, she has a big bucket of candy for only the best patients. You tell her I sent you.”   
  
“Thank you, Dr. Sawyer,” the mother thanks her again.   
  
“Thank you,” the little girl echoes and Maggie smiles. Again, Alex’s heart does a flip.   
  
A moment later, they’re walking away and Alex and the mother share a polite smile. Maggie is cleaning up the station and Alex hesitantly approaches, clutching the container. She doesn’t say anything to her and she doesn’t know what to say to break the silence. Alex reaches into her purse and pulls out Maggie's phone. She holds it out to her and Maggie stills when she sees it. She doesn’t make a move to take it from her though.   
  
“You left this…” Alex trails off when she shakes her head.   
  
“I don’t need it.” Maggie reaches into the pocket of her dark green scrubs and pulls out a thin iPhone. “I got a new one today. Brand new number. I called you earlier.”   
  
“Oh,” Alex lowers her head, embarrassed. She had received a call from a number that she hadn’t recognized so she hadn’t picked up. Maggie hadn’t left a message either.   
  
“I’m very serious about you,” Maggie says suddenly and Alex looks at her with surprise. She doesn’t mean to be but after everything that had transpired this morning, she can’t seem to help herself but be taken aback by her directing those particular words to her. “I wonder if we’re moving too fast. We’ve only known each other a few weeks. I was a complete wreck when you met me…” Maggie's eyes never leave hers. “But I’m getting better and I know that it has everything to do with you.” She slowly comes around the bed and stands directly in front of her. Alex feels like she can’t even breathe, let alone speak, and she tilts her to the side, keeping her eyes with Maggie's. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Alex.”   
  
Alex feels herself shake her head. “I don’t know what I’m doing either,” she admits to her and she really doesn’t. She’s twenty-eight and while she has had partners before, this, with Maggie, is completely different. They're both adults, trying to be in an adult relationship. She’s not in high school or college anymore. “Maybe… maybe we can teach each other. We can learn together,” Alex suggests, allowing herself to hope. She doesn’t want this to end. She likes her so much and she thinks they’re good together. Maybe, if given the chance, they can be great.   
  
“Don’t take this the wrong way but… what are you doing here?” Maggie asks. “I was trying to give you space today.”   
  
“Yeah, don’t do that again,” Alex shakes her head and she then smiles when Maggie does.   
  
She leans in with her hands on her cheeks and she kisses Alex softly. “I upset you earlier and I don’t blame you for being upset. Just to warn you, I’m an idiot and if we’re going to… I’ll probably upset you a few more times.” Maggie touches her forehead to hers for a brief moment before Alex pulls back. “I’m sorry. She’ll never know this number,” she whispers. “It’s better this way. For you and me both.”   
  
Alex doesn’t know what to say but she feels bad for wanting to smile. Instead, she shifts the container to one arm, and her other hand goes to Maggie's cheek and she kisses her. “I made cookies,” she then unexpectedly tells her with a beaming smile and she pulls back the lid of the container to reveal kind of burnt sugar cookies sloppily decorated to look like orange pumpkins and white ghosts. Maggie looks at them with a smile and then at Alex. She shrugs. “I had to do something besides grade midterms or else, I was going to go insane. Now try one.”   
  
Maggie keeps smiling as she picks up a ghost cookie and takes a bite. “Want to hear something strange?” She asks much like she usually does.   
  
And much like she does when posed with that question, Alex nods eagerly. “Definitely.”   
  
“I love sugar cookies when they’re kind of burned around the edges like this,” she says.   
  
For a moment, Alex isn’t sure whether or not she's teasing her baking but when Maggie finishes that cookie and reaches for a pumpkin one, she smiles. “I love when the edges are burned, too,” she admits truthfully.   
  
“Whoa, what are these?” A doctor with dark hair in a ponytail asks, walking past but stopping short upon seeing the container of cookies in Alex’s arms.   
  
Maggie swallows before answering. “Ally, this is Dr. Samantha Arias. She's a trauma surgeon here. Sam, this is my girlfriend, Alex Danvers. She teaches science over at St. Jonnz’s.”   
  
“It’s nice to meet you,” Sam nods politely. “Wait, don't we already know each other? You're Ruby's teacher. She always talks about her cool science teacher!”   
  
“You, too,” Alex is unable to keep the blinding smile from her face. “Ruby is such a lovely girl!”   
  
Girlfriend. She’s Maggie’s girlfriend. She likes the sound of that. She also likes how he just called her ‘Ally’ as if it is her own little nickname for her that no one can use except her. Hell, she loves how all of this is sounding. She wonders what her nickname for Emily was. Damn it, Alex.  _ STOP _ ! This is about herself and Maggie now. There is no Maggie and Emily. Not anymore. Maggie has bought a new phone and she’s told her that Emily won’t have the number. She needs to just take a deep breath and trust her.   
  
She holds the container out towards Sam. “Please have one. Or five. I made too many.”   
  
“Thanks,” Sam smiles, taking one of each as Maggie reaches for her third cookie and as she does, she leans in and nuzzles her nose against her neck. 

Alex definitely can’t stop smiling.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Maggie have some steamy and hot morning sex just before Kara and Lucy call Alex for their usual Sunday talk.  
> Both Alex and Maggie are surprised by how fast they are falling into a daily routine together.  
> Then, Alex finally opens up to Maggie about her past. 
> 
> Sexy times, sisters' talk, fluffy moments and big confessions. 
> 
> (Explicit content in the first paragraph of this chapter.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning :)  
> Another chapter updated just before work.  
> I have, like, a ton of comments to catch up on! And I promise, I will. I needed to choose between reply to your lovely messages or to update and I opted for the latter. 
> 
> Well, I'm glad you appreciated how Maggie handled Emily's message and I hope you'll like this chapter as well.
> 
> Enjoy and have a wonderful day!

Alex’s hands tighten into the bed sheets, needing something to hold onto as Maggie  moves inside of her, her hands on the back of her thighs, bending her knees towards her chest, and she thrusts with a steady pace, their skin sweaty and slapping together. Alex isn’t quiet, crying out and gasping as the bed squeaks beneath them. Maggie is panting and moaning and Alex struggles to keep her eyes open, wanting to watch her. She loves watching her when they have sex. Not only does the sight of her naked body make Alex salivate but Maggie wears this look that seems like complete concentration; likes she’s doing everything in her power to make this as good for her as possible. She wonders if she truly worries about that.  


“Maggie, ” she groans, arching her back and her hands slide up her arms to her shoulders.  
  
Maggie lets go of her legs and lowers herself on top of her, their lips meeting in an open-mouthed kiss. Alex moans, holding onto her tightly, their bodies never missing a beat as they meet and crash together. She wonders if she’ll ever get used to how it feels to have Maggie so deeply inside of her. It feels like her body parts in two and opens for her and she dives right in, splitting her in half with each thrust. She’s never had sex like she has with her and in the back of her mind, Alex wonders how she’ll ever have sex with another woman. That terrifies her and she isn’t sure what is more so: the thought of not being with Maggie or already thinking of not wanting to be without her. This isn’t normal, is it? It’s only been a few weeks. A little more than a month really.  
  
Alex kisses her again and whispers her name. She needs to just relax and have fun and sees where this takes them. She isn’t going to worry about Emily or Maggie’s feelings or their future – if she and Maggie  have a future together. Maggie called her her girlfriend at the hospital. Alex focuses on that. She’s Maggie Sawyer's girlfriend and she’s hers. Girlfriend. It sounds so juvenile and the way Maggie’s fucking her right now with her own strap-on, nothing about her is juvenile. She almost giggles at the thought.  
  
“You have got to be kidding,” Maggie grunts, pulling her head back to look at her.  
  
“What?” Alex pants, her hands grasping Maggie's hips in case she’s even thinking about stopping right now. Alex spreads her legs a little wider and even as they speak, Maggie's hips never stop pounding into hers.  
  
“I’m in the middle of fucking you and I can hear you thinking,” Maggie tells her. “I’m starting to feel a little insulted.” And then pushing herself up onto her knees, her hands grasp Alex's hips and pulling her own hips back until only the tip of the bright pink dildo remains inside of her, Maggie then thrusts forward, slamming into her. Alex cries out loudly – so loudly, Gertrude , who is sound asleep on the floor by the front door wakes up, startled.  
  
“Oh, fuck,” she gasps, her arms bending back so her hands can grip the pillow her head is resting on. “Yes, yes... I was thinking.”  
  
Maggie pulls back and slams into her again. Alex cries out just as loudly, her entire back bowing from the bed and she hears herself begging for more. It feels so good. So damn good and she never wants it to stop. She’s babbling, she’s pretty sure, pleading with her for more, to punish her just like that for thinking while they’re fucking, for her to fuck her even harder, and Maggie’s fingers tighten around her thighs, pushing them back against her chest again as she speeds up even more. Her thrusts are relentless and both of them are sweating, their bodies screaming, desperate for release. When Alex explodes, it’s with a scream that she’s certain all of her neighbors can hear. And just watching her, Maggie comes as well, squeaking and trembling on Alex.  


They collapse, Maggie’s body heavy on top of hers, and their skin sticks together as they both pant heavily, trying to catch their breath. Alex wraps her arms around her and presses kisses to her shoulder and neck as she feels her breathe sharply against her neck. Maggie had been working all night at the hospital and had come to her apartment around eight o’clock that morning. The instant Alex had opened the door for her, her lips were on hers and she had laughed. That was almost two hours ago and now, the bedroom is bright with morning light and Alex feels tired. She can’t even imagine how exhausted Maggie must be.  
  
“I’m off today,” she tells her against the side of her throat. “Do you have anything planned? We should do something.”  
  
“We can do anything you want,” she smiles, her hands rubbing her back and Maggie yawns, sliding partially off of her so she isn’t pinning her down completely. She takes off the harness and discards it on the floor and then remains on her stomach, while her head rests on Alex's shoulder. “But first, you need some sleep. That was pretty intense,” Alex says, still smiling, though it’s quite the understatement.  
  
“I love how you feel,” Maggie murmurs. “You’re so soft and inside, you’re so tight.”  
  
It amazes her that even after everything they’ve done to one another, her words make her blush. Alex bites down on her lower lip, smiling, and Maggie nuzzles closer to her.  
  
“You’re great,” she whispers. “But… it’s not just about the sex.”  
  
“I know. It’s more than that,” Maggie agrees and her words are slow. She's slowly falling asleep. “But still, the sex is really, really good.”  
  
Alex laughs softly. “The best.” The phone rings then, startling her, but Maggie is drifting off so quickly, she doesn’t even seem to hear it. “It’s Kara and Lucy. We talk to each other every Sunday. I can go in the living room-” she begins to suggest but Maggie presses her body down against hers, stopping her. Stretching her arm out, Alex grabs the portable phone from the nightstand and holding it with one hand, her other begins stroking through Maggie's hair and then down her back.  
  
“The plane tickets are bought,” Kara  informs Alex the instant she answers the call. “Lena and I will be there Friday afternoon.”  
  
“I can’t wait,” Alex smiles. “And you’re at the Holiday Inn on West 46th, right?”  
  
“Yes. Lena loves Planet Square,” Kara  nods.  
  
“I wish I could meet you there,” Lucy pouts. She and James have just returned from Sunday brunch with his mom, Brenda, and she has taken Laura for the day. The house is quiet in an almost unsettling way. James collapses onto the couch, stretching out and turning on the television and Lucy flops down in the recliner. “But one of James's friends is getting married next weekend so we have to go to Miami for the wedding. The bride is such a fucking bitch though.”  
  
Kara and Alex both laugh.  
  
“Well, don’t worry. Everyone will be in Midvale for Christmas,” Alex reminds her.  
  
“James wants to take the train to Midvale,” Lucy smiles. “I’ve tried telling him that it takes a week to get there but he wants to do it the old-fashioned way for Laura’s first Christmas.”  
  
“What?” James mock frowns at his wife. “It’ll be fun. Dining cars and sleeping cars-”  
  
“The old-fashioned way?” Alex laughs. “Why not just take a carriage then?”  
  
“I think it sounds romantic,” Kara says and she can just imagine both of her sister and Lucy rolling their eyes. Alex and Lucy have always been so much alike while Kara seems to be very romantic and naive. “Traveling across the country for a week on a train just like in the old movies. Remember in White Christmas?”  
  
“Kara, your opinion doesn’t count. You haven’t seen a movie that was made after 1970,” Lucy teases.  
  
“Oh, shut up.” Kara protests and Alex rolls her eyes. The mattress jumps as Gertrude  leaps onto the bed and Alex smiles because she has Maggie sprawled partially on top of her and now Gertie is across the foot of the bed, her head on her leg. “Could you imagine sex on a train though?” Alex suddenly asks.  
  
“Alex Danvers!” Kara  exclaims in shock but then she’s laughing.  
  
“Just think about all of that rocking,” Alex laughs. Instantly, she thinks of her and Maggie on a train. Maybe she'll hold the tiny doctor up and pin her back against a wall…  
  
“But we’ll have Laura so we won’t be able to fuck,” Lucy is pouting again. “That just makes the whole trip one big damn long tease.”  
  
“At least you’re having sex occasionally,” Kara gets into her car and slams the door behind her but she doesn’t put the key in the ignition. “Alex desperately needs to get laid. It’s been how long, Alex?” She asks.  


Alex looks down at Maggie’s head on her shoulder and she almost begins to laugh. “The last time I got laid? Huh, about five minutes ago,” she answers truthfully.  
  
“What?!” Lucy and Kara both exclaim so loudly, Alex has to pull the phone away from her ear, laughing at them. Maggie  opens an eye and looks at Alex curiously.  
  
She smiles. “They’re always telling me I need to have more sex,” she explains to her.

  
Maggie smirks tiredly, slipping her head from her shoulder to the pillow next to hers. Her arm remains across her stomach however, keeping them close. “I feel like I’m working on fixing that problem,” Maggie grumbles.  


“Holy shit, she’s still there?” Lucy screeches, standing up with pure excitement. “Oh my god! James, Alex had sex!” She tells her husband eagerly.  
  
“Good. Now you and Kara can leave her alone,” James responds, his eyes glued to the television, and Lucy swats him on the shoulder.  
  
“Wait a minute. Is this Maggie, that girl you were talking about? Did you sleep with Maggie?” Kara practically demands to know. “Put her on the phone, Alex.”  
  
“Oh god, no way am I putting her on the phone,” Alex shakes her head. “I want to keep having sex with her and you two will talk to her and ruin this for me.”  
  
“Well, I’m insulted,” Lucy huffs.  
  
“Why would we ruin this for you? Put her on,” Kara pushes.  
  
“Here,” Maggie  grunts, hearing the end of the conversation, and before Alex can stop her, she takes the phone from her hand. “This is Maggie,” she says and she can see Alex watching her, almost nervously, with her lip pulled between her teeth. She gives her a faint smile and herp fingers brush against one of her cheeks. It’s just her sister and her best friend. How bad can it be?  
  
“Whoa, you sound very hot,” Lucy says and instead of sitting back down in the recliner, she sits down on James's lap. He continues watching television but he winds his arms casually around his wife’s waist.  
  
“Are you giving Alex good sex?” Lucy asks. “She needs something more than adequate and probably even better than good. She needs some mind-blowing sex.”  


Maggie smirks. This Lucy is very blunt. “Well, she almost made me go deaf this morning if that’s any indication,” Maggie  says and Alex groans, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and she covers her face with her hands. Maggie grins. “She, honestly, is the best I’ve ever had.”  
  
Alex slowly slides her hands down and she looks at her. “The best?” She echoes. “Really?” She smiles shyly. Alex doesn’t know if she’s telling the truth or if she’s just saying that for Kara and Lucy, but it still makes her feel good to hear her say those words.  
  
“The best,” Maggie nods, staring into her eyes.  
  
“Okay… Bye, Alex!” Lucy calls out.  
  
“Bye, Maggie!” Kara adds and then they hang up.  
  
Alex and Maggie hardly notice as Alex slides her hands onto Maggie ’s cheeks and she brings her face closer to hers. “The best?” Alex says again in a whisper.  
  
“Even when you’re thinking while we’re having sex… I still know that you’re thinking about me and not some other girl,” she says quietly, her fingers brushing her cheek again.  
  
Alex nods, swallowing the sudden dry spot in her throat. “Only you.”  
  
And then she tugs on her until she can capture her lips with hers.  


* * *

  
It’s a perfect late fall day with the sun shining, the air brisk and the leaves slowly falling down from the trees, fluttering like early signs of snowflakes. They walk with no particular destination in mind, just enjoying the day and the hours together, and with Alex holding onto Gertrude’s leash, her other arm is wrapped around Maggie's shoulders. They have stopped at the Pinkberry and Maggie has bought her a bowl of chocolate frozen yogurt topped with strawberries. Alex is still eating it as they walk, offering an occasional spoonful to Maggie, who parts her lips and lets her feed it to her.  
  
“So, my sister, Kara, is coming to visit me next weekend with her girlfriend. They get here Friday. You don’t have to meet them, of course, but I just want to warn you now in case we don’t get to spend as much time together,” Alex tells her.  


“What are you going to be doing?” Maggie  asks.  
  
“Tourist things. Museums, Statue of Liberty, that sort of thing,” Alex shrugs. “It’ll be a blast though. I love Lena and Kara  together. You, of course, are welcome to join us. Or not join us. It might be too soon to meet some of the family.”  
  
Maggie  smirks. “It sounds fun. I can’t remember the last time I did any of that stuff.”  
  
Her eyes widen. “Really? I mean… you would want to act like a tourist with us?”  
  
“There’s the Emperor Building. We’ll have to take them there,” Maggie begins. “And the Statue of Liberty, the Rockefeller Center…”  
  
“Glenmorgan Square, Little Bohemia,” Alex adds with a smile. “And Centennial Park.”  
  
“Topaz-”  
  
“No,” Alex shakes her head. “I don’t think we should do that one.” Maggie gives her a curious look. “Oh, I love musicals. It’s not me. It’s Kara … and I’m sure Lena would be uncomfortable, too. Kara used to watch musicals all the time with…”  
  
“The married guy,” Maggie  finishes, nodding with understanding. “Okay. No musicals then.”  
  
“We’ll figure something out. Kara has been so busy with college and then her intern year at CatCo. Finally she has some vacation time to visit me. I just want it to be the perfect trip for her,” Alex explains. “Here,” she holds up the spoon and Maggie  leans down, eating another spoonful of her yogurt. “Oh, look!” She suddenly exclaims.  
  
Up ahead, outside of a burger joint that is decorated to look like it’s from the 1950s, there is an old-fashioned photo-booth.  
  
“No,” is Maggie says when she sees it, shaking her head.  
  
“I’m thinking yes. We need a picture together,” Alex takes her hand and tossing the yogurt cup into a passing trash can, she tugs Maggie towards the photo-booth. “It’ll be my treat.”

Before Maggie can even open her mouth, she’s already pulled out a five dollar bill and feeds it to the machine. “Come on,” she smiles at her, still tugging on her hand.  
  
Maggie hates getting her picture taken. She has since her parents had abandoned her so many years ago. Her aunt told Maggie that her mom had ripped off all her pictures.  
  
But Alex is smiling at her and she wants pictures of them together. This is what you do when you have a girlfriend and you’re in a relationship. You take pictures together so then you can show to people that you’re a couple. And Alex is her girlfriend and Maggie wants to be a couple with her – there’s no doubt in her mind about that. She’s happy with her. And it’s been a long time since she's felt like this. She wonders if she can call what she had with Emily a relationship because even though they are in the very early stages, everything she has with Alex is already the complete opposite of what she had with Emily. Even with Emily – for those last few months before the cheating and she left – she can’t remember smiling this much.  
  
“Come on, silly,” Alex says again, laughing. “You’re the best looking girl I’ve ever seen. The camera is going to love you.”  
  
Maggie grins proudly at that and finally, she allows Alex to pull her into the tiny booth. Alex keeps a firm hold on Gertrude’s leash, who plops down on the sidewalk outside of the booth, panting from their long walk though the dog loves the exercise and the sights and sounds of the city. Alex sits down on the bench and it’s too small for Maggie to sit anywhere other than on her lap, which she does quite happily. Keeping one arm around her shoulders, Alex leans forward and hits the big yellow button.  
  
“We get four pictures. First one,” Alex leans down and kisses her, her free hand immediately going to her cheek like it’s a habit she’s developed over years of practicing it. Even with their eyes closed, they can feel the blinding flash go off.  
  
“What now?” Maggie asks as their kiss ends and Alex rests her forehead against hers. Another flash goes off.  
  
She then turns her head towards the camera and Maggie closes her eyes, leaning into her neck, a serene smile across Alex’s face as she closes her eyes too, turning her head back towards Maggie's. Another flash. For the final picture, Maggie’s hand suddenly sneaks up the side of her shirt, touching her bare skin, skimming over her ribcage – a very ticklish spot for her. Alex shrieks with surprise and her foot kicks the wall of the booth in reaction. Maggie grins, almost laughing. The final flash.  
  
“Jerk,” Alex says to her but she’s breathless from laughing. She gives her another kiss and then Maggie hops off her lap, going outside to retrieve their strip of four pictures. When the booth’s dispenser spits out the four pictures, Alex carefully takes the strip and looks down at the line of black and white pictures. She feels her heart doing a little skip in her chest and she smiles, her cheeks warm.  
  
“Well?” Maggie asks, coming to stand next to her, leaning in closer than she has to, and looks at the strip in her hands. “We look good together,” she comments casually but she can’t stop staring at the pictures. Alex looks so beautiful and she looks so… happy.  
  
“We really do,” Alex says in a quiet voice, nodding, unable to look away from the strip. She then tilts her head down and look at Maggie. “Thank you for taking pictures with me.”  
  
Maggie doesn’t know what to say. There’s so much she can thank her for but she doesn’t even know where to begin. So instead, she takes the pictures from her hand and slips them into her purse. “We need to keep those safe until we buy a frame,” she says and the only word she can think of when she sees her smile is radiant. With her own smile, she then wraps her arm back around her shoulders and they begin their walk again.  


* * *

  
It’s almost scary to Maggie how easily she and Alex fall into a routine. On Monday, Alex’s alarm begins to buzz at five-thirty and she’s instantly slapping it off and sitting up. She leans over and kisses her on the head, murmuring a ‘good morning’ into her hair before she gets out of the bed and disappears into the bathroom. A minute later, the shower is on, while Maggie and Gertrude continue dozing in the bed. Fifteen minutes after that, Alex is in the bedroom again, a towel wrapped around her body, standing at her closet, and Maggie takes the opportunity to go into the bathroom to relieve herself.  
  
She begins tugging on a pair of socks and sweatpants and a shirt, yawning. Every night, Alex lays down a pee pad in the kitchen for Gertrude - just in case – but the puppy is good and can usually hold it all night. And usually, Alex takes her out as soon as she’s dressed but Maggie wants to help her out since she’s off today and Alex has to go to work.  
  
After taking the elevator down and walking Gertrude a couple of blocks, Maggie returns to Alex’s apartment. She has started to brew coffee for her – she rarely drinks it – and her hair is dry and curled slightly at the ends. She’s wearing this beautiful white blouse layered underneath a black and white tweed jacket and a pair of dark slacks. She pads around the living room barefoot, gathering the stacks of midterms she finally finished grading last night before Maggie tossed her over her shoulder and carried her to bed.  
  
Maggie goes into the kitchen and pours a cup of coffee and comes into the living room, sipping on it and sinking into the couch, watching her. She sees that on there's her empty bottle of beer, from the night before, on the coffee table.

“You never drink alcohol,” Maggie says before she can stop herself.  
  
Alex doesn’t seem phased though and she smiles faintly as she flips through a stack of tests, making sure they’re all graded. She can’t hand them back yet – she still has to input everyone’s grades into the system – but she’s relieved that she finished this weekend.  
  
“I used to drink too much,” she says as nonchalantly as possible.  
  
Maggie blinks at her. “What?”  
  
“I used to drink a lot. I was eighteen, just after my high school graduation and I had been having a very hard time. After my father's death, I felt like I didn’t have a place in my family anymore and I didn’t know what else to do. Besides that, I didn't what was happening to me and why I couldn't like boys just like all my friends. I only wanted somewhere I belonged… So, I tried alcohol during a sleepover. The first time, I was just curious about what anything alcoholic tasted like. The second time it happened, and each time after that, it happened because I was eighteen and I  found that I liked the taste of it. Wine and then came beer and stolen shots of whiskey or bourbon, ” she shrugs.  
  
Maggie continues to stare at her as she moves about, gathering her things. “Did you have… an alcohol use disorder?” The words feel weird on her tongue.  
  
“I suppose you could call it that. A moderate AUD,” Alex nods though she doesn’t want to call it that at all. She heard that enough when she was younger and her mom, John, Kara and Lucy were trying to help her. She takes a deep breath. “I got pulled over one night, driving home from a party, and when the police officer asked for my license, I pretended as if I didn’t have it and by doing so, I thought he would never find out that I was just eighteen. When I blew into the breathalyzer, even he raised his eyebrows at the number that flashed on the screen.”

Alex sits down on the couch next to Maggie and Maggie stares at her, smiling softly.  
“I was promptly arrested and sat in a holding cell, waiting for someone to rescue me. John came, and that night… he actually saved me. He made me understand how I was basically throwing my life away. When I appeared in court, the judge took away my license and ordered me to ninety days in a rehabilitation center and we kind of all felt almost a sense of relief at the sentence… But I’m good now. You’ve seen me. I don't drink anymore.” She looks at Maggie and she’s watching her closely. “I was eighteen.  Struggling with my sexuality and my father's death. It’s a horrible age, Maggie ,” she says quietly.  
  
Maggie remembers her words from the day she removed her stitches and they began to truly talk with one another. _I remember when I was a teen. I was… horrible_ . She looks at her now. She is skinny but she’s healthy at the same time. And he’s seen her. Apparently she doesn't touch alcohol anymore.  
  
“I didn’t know,” Maggie says, sitting up, leaning forward, never looking away from her.  
  
Alex smiles softly at her. “We’re still getting to know one another,” she reminds her. “I have something for you,” she then says and stands up and goes into the bedroom, coming back a moment later. “I have no idea if this is too soon. It probably is. But… it’ll just make things easier.” She’s holding a key, the ring dangling from her finger. “If you want it… I won’t make you take it.”  
  
Maggie stands up immediately and she’s already reaching for it, as Alex seems to smile with relief. She clutches the key to her apartment in her fist as Maggie wraps both of her arms around Alex and pulls her close. “Thank you,” she whispers and Alex beams at her before her eyes flutter shut and her lips descend softly to Maggie's.

“I’m never at my apartment but I’ll give you a key, too,” Maggie offers. “You can leave anything you want there.”  
  
Alex smiles. “We’re moving fast.”  
  
Maggie nods. “Doesn’t feel wrong though.”  
  
Her heart flips. “No, it definitely doesn’t feel wrong.”  
  
Maggie kisses her again and though Alex has to get going, she doesn’t protest as Maggie pulls her towards the couch. Instead, Alex smiles against her lips and Maggie smiles against hers as she sits down and Alex straddles her lap. Their mouths never separate and as Alex's fingers tunnel through her hair, Maggie's  hands run up the outsides of her thighs, and then lower the zip of her slacks. Alex feels like giggling but instead, she tilts her head to the side and kisses her deeply, her tongue reaching out to touch hers. Maggie touches her through her panties and her hips jump against her hand on instinct.  
  
“You’re going to make me late again,” she murmurs.  
  
“Want me to stop?” Maggie asks and Alex exhales a breath as her fingers push the panties to the side and rubs her lightly.  
  
“I didn’t say that,” Alex smiles and Maggie's grin is wide as her own hands drop to the drawstring of her sweatpants.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Metropolis is described as New York city and I did some research, so all the places mentioned in this chapter are located in Metropolis... According to Wikipedia.
> 
>  
> 
> Alex's background is finally here. I've had this idea since the very first moment and I hope to deal with it in the best way possible.  
> She eventually opened up to Maggie and we'll see more about it in the future. Please, let me know your opinion about it!

**Author's Note:**

> Your opinion matters a lot to me, so please let me know what you think!


End file.
